Londonlady Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Please help - I'm going a little crazy here! Just before Christmas I worked in a job for a couple of weeks and met the greatest guy. (Tall, dark with beautiful blue eyes, 32 years old, single, similar SOH, etc. (I'm 30). I can't get him out of my mind and I don't know what to do. We got on really well; sometimes if he was bored he would come over to my desk to chat. When he was near me it was like electricity. I have no idea whether he felt that too, but he did seem to like me. There was just something in his manner, the way he looked at me, the way he smiled etc. (Maybe I am still no good at judging these things, and just saw what I wanted to see, I don't know.) He went home to Canada for Christmas so I asked if he would mind doing me a favour and take a small package to post to a friend of mine. He said, if he had time, he would deliver it. My friend lives outside this guy's city, so he would going out of his way somewhat. (A very nice thing to do and a fair bit of effort for someone you don't really know). I dreaded having to say goodbye to him. I dreamt of course about him asking for my number or asking me out for a drink, but our goodbyes had to be said in a room full of people. He asked if I were ever coming back to work in the company. I told him 'no'. "Never? Hmm, well, it's been a pleasure working with you. You have our emails here, so get in touch". (Did say 'ours', rather than 'my', but in a room of people.....Don't know... He got up to say goodbye the way we stood, really close to one another was just different to saying goodbye to anyone else in the office.) After Christmas I emailed everyone at the office to say hi and to thank them for making me welcome etc. He replied saying " Pleasure!!!!" + told me he had delivered the package and wished me a happy new year. I replied thanking him for taking the parcel, said I hoped he had had a good Xmas etc. No response from him at all - emailed him a week ago. I'm confused. Even if he didn't want anything with me I expected a brief reply : eg "no problem. Had a good Christmas, etc. regards xxxx" Nothing. I really thought he liked me, but maybe I misread the signals? He was just being friendly and a bit flirtatious? I want to email him again and say that as he went to a fair bit of effort on my behalf (delivering the parcel) maybe I could buy him a drink or somehting as a thank you. Make it kind of casual - not asking for a date: I have friend in his area, so I go out there sometimes, so if he's around..... Help!!! I really really like this guy. I don't want to be seen to be chasing after him (does that really put guys off? I don't know), but nor do I want to regret not contacting him again. Maybe I'm just impatient, but how long should I wait? Maybe he's been busy / sick and not at work to get his email / abducted by aliens / maybe I should just take the hint that he's not interested??? Sorry, if this has been a bit long-winded, but I am going crazy, am analysing everything (yes, I know) and therfore find it hard to be concise! Thoughts please - and please say if you're a girl or guy, if not obvious from your name. Thanks x
witabix Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Send him the email!! Fer gawds sake wassup wiv you? Oh BTW male here. What have you got to lose? Thanks for delivering that parcel, really appreciate it. Thought I'd like to buy you a drink/dinner to say thanks for doing that for me..... Or something similar. And no, it wouldn't put me off if a woman pursued me, its really flattering. Now its a different thing if it was with 44 calibre handgun or a breadknife, and she was screaming "Die you muthaf***er!!! DIE!!!!". But an email asking to buy me a thank you drink? No problem at all.
cygny Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 woman here. he'll definitely know you like him for more than a friend if you do this. Yes it is pursuing him. But, he might be ok with it. if not, he most likely will find an excuse not to go out with you. if he rejects your invitation, don't take it personally, maybe he is involved with someone else/gay/an alien. (i have been very tempted to do things like this in the past but whenever i did it never worked out long-term. the guy was always just a tad less interested in the relationship than i was, and that sucked. I now make sure I am flirty and receptive but leave the pursuing to the males. that's just my preference.)
witabix Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Just for info, I got a LTR out of a woman pursuing me, lasted ten years, and it was pretty good over all. She started pursuing other guys at the end!!! Should have known really but what the hey! For reference.
witabix Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 ha ha witabix habits die hard, huh? Very funny Cyg, in a real caring and emotional way. Still laughing:lmao: (No sarcasm either, I like black humour! )
Author Londonlady Posted January 17, 2006 Author Posted January 17, 2006 Yeah, I know. Just thinking about it too much / analysing every detail etc, which doesn't help. Just putting it off - as I REALLY like him and don't want to scare him off / get blown out. I have friends who read those kind of books about dating 'rules', which seem to suggest that a girl should never chase a guy. This seems to have worked for said friends too. Personally, I (without reading them) think they're b*ll*cks. Even if he's not interested then, hopefully he'll be flattered. And I am quite nice, not a nutcase wielding a weapon or anything! So yeah, I guess, nothing to lose. Nothing ventured and all that.... Send him the email!! Fer gawds sake wassup wiv you? Oh BTW male here. What have you got to lose? Thanks for delivering that parcel, really appreciate it. Thought I'd like to buy you a drink/dinner to say thanks for doing that for me..... Or something similar. And no, it wouldn't put me off if a woman pursued me, its really flattering. Now its a different thing if it was with 44 calibre handgun or a breadknife, and she was screaming "Die you muthaf***er!!! DIE!!!!". But an email asking to buy me a thank you drink? No problem at all.
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