Should I give up?

[GuideMe23]

hey everyone. So I’m beating myself up. I’m in this relationship of 2 years. In the beginning my bf asked me if I’ve had sexual relations with a certain guy. I immediately told him know because that happened years back before I even knew who my boyfriend was. And I was ashamed. (Backstory on the guy I slept with… I slept with him once, then completely cut him off because I found out he was in a relationship) back to the story. I finally told him the truth about it about a day or two after he asked me about it. He was mad and called me a liar saying how he couldn’t trust me. I’m pleading my case letting him know that he can trust me, I was just ashamed. And it was something that happened once before I even knew who my boyfriend was. Ever since then I’ve been walking on eggshells. He says that I’m sneaky. But I don’t hide my phone, and honestly I want him to go through my phone so he can see that he’s the only guy I’m with. Today I was blowing leaves off of my front porch and drive way… as I was doing that he asked me about grilling something on the grill so I stopped got my phone to go to a step by step video… as I’m waiting for the ad video to go off I have my phone in one hand and pick up my leaf blower in the other, continuing to blow the leaves down my drive way… he says that I was being sneaky. He left the house then I called to ask him what to do with the meat that he was gonna grill and he ignored my calls 3 times. Then finally answered on the 4th. Saying to leave it there. And goes to add, “man I don’t trust you, I really really don’t trust you.” Because he says I was acting weird by having my phone and being outside blowing leaves. Like normal things that I do around the house I always get bashed for it because he thinks I’m doing something. I don’t know what to do. It’s getting so exhausting. We’ve been together 2 years now. 

[Gebidozo]

2 hours ago, GuideMe23 said:

I don’t know what to do.

Break up with him.

He is blaming you for something that had happened before you got together. His irrational jealousy has turned into paranoia, which is causing you to have completely unjustified guilt feelings.

Relationships shouldn’t be exhausting. There are plenty of exhausting things in life already.

He says he doesn’t trust you. No relationship can survive without trust. You deserve to be with someone who believes what you tell them and doesn’t treat you like a prosecutor treats a defendant in court.

Edited September 19 by Gebidozo

[Alpacalia]

3 hours ago, GuideMe23 said:

hey everyone. So I’m beating myself up. I’m in this relationship of 2 years. In the beginning my bf asked me if I’ve had sexual relations with a certain guy. I immediately told him know because that happened years back before I even knew who my boyfriend was. And I was ashamed. (Backstory on the guy I slept with… I slept with him once, then completely cut him off because I found out he was in a relationship) back to the story. I finally told him the truth about it about a day or two after he asked me about it. He was mad and called me a liar saying how he couldn’t trust me. I’m pleading my case letting him know that he can trust me, I was just ashamed. And it was something that happened once before I even knew who my boyfriend was. Ever since then I’ve been walking on eggshells. He says that I’m sneaky. But I don’t hide my phone, and honestly I want him to go through my phone so he can see that he’s the only guy I’m with. Today I was blowing leaves off of my front porch and drive way… as I was doing that he asked me about grilling something on the grill so I stopped got my phone to go to a step by step video… as I’m waiting for the ad video to go off I have my phone in one hand and pick up my leaf blower in the other, continuing to blow the leaves down my drive way… he says that I was being sneaky. He left the house then I called to ask him what to do with the meat that he was gonna grill and he ignored my calls 3 times. Then finally answered on the 4th. Saying to leave it there. And goes to add, “man I don’t trust you, I really really don’t trust you.” Because he says I was acting weird by having my phone and being outside blowing leaves. Like normal things that I do around the house I always get bashed for it because he thinks I’m doing something. I don’t know what to do. It’s getting so exhausting. We’ve been together 2 years now. 

Okay so the lie wasn't great.

Your boyfriend shouldn't be asking you these loaded questions...let alone if he’s not prepared to hear the truth.

If couples are going to ask about each other's both should be okay with it. You clearly weren't and answered more out of obligation.

What happened before you met is your history.  Not something that happened while the two of you were together.

I'm sorry to say, your boyfriend is acting like a toad.

He needs to …grow up emotionally and stop punishing you.

If you choose to stay with him, expect more of this treatment.

[Sanch62]

On 9/18/2025 at 5:53 PM, GuideMe23 said:

In the beginning my bf asked me if I’ve had sexual relations with a certain guy.

This would have been my signal to stop seeing this man.

Nobody is entitled to ask you that. Every aspect of your history is private, and anyone who believes they should own control over when and what you choose to divulge is bad news.

Every nasty thing this man has said or done beyond this is no surprise and will never get better. It will only get worse.

I hope you will contact your local hospital's human services department for a referral to a woman's shelter counselor or a domestic violence prevention counselor for help in making a plan to get safely away from this man.

You don't need to be physically abused to get help to get safe. There are people who DO want to help you.