Jacksnipe Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I really upset my girlfriend and I feel horrible about it. I've been getting this feeling lately whenever I think about sex. It's like this nauseous feeling, and the idea of me doing it with her (or anyone) just makes me feel sick. I was feeling that way last night (randomly, we were just watching tv).. but I had been thinking about how we hadn't done it in a while, and she asked what was wrong because she knew I seemed different. So I told her I felt nauseous, and didn't say the reason why at first because I knew it would make her feel weird. But I needed to get it out, it was just one of those things you have to say. So I told her.. emphasizing that is wasn't her.. (although I admit her weight gain (60lbs) has made me less attracted to her, but I knew she's sensitive about it, so I'd never want her to know that.. it would hurt anyone). But right away she assumed it was because of her weight and got really quiet. I apologized and told her that if anything it was my insecurities with my own body and self. But she wouldn't believe that and decided to take me home. I still feel nauseous, but I moreso feel bad for hurting her feelings. I'd love for her to get back in shape, but stressing that point would make me feel shallow (which I'm not, by any means). I don't really know what to do.
slubberdegullion Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Did this feeling emerge as her weight continued to increase? Whether it's politically correct or not, men are visual creatures, and when a man's partner starts to pack on the beef, that can cause his libido to diminish because he's not as physically attracted to her anymore. (It works the same the other way as well, when a man's belly becomes a "dicky do": that is, "my belly sticks out more than my dicky do!") This has been discussed before, so you may want to do a search regarding overweight partners. But, in short, there's no easy way to go about telling your S/O that you're not attracted to her as much any more because he/she has gained weight. Yes, your S/O will be sensitive about it, but better to get the brutal conversation out of the way sooner rather than later, because trust me on this, it's only going to get worse. Good luck!
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