Rachel702 Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I'd like to get some other people's opinions here as I've been debating this for a long time without reaching a decision! I've been with my boyfriend on and off for the last 4 years. It hasn't been a perfect relationhsip by any means, he cheated on me after about 2 years which absolutely devastated me and since then nothing has been the same. That incident changed me and since it happened i've met other guys who iv had a connection with and when its gotten bad with my boyf iv broken it off and had a little fling with them. this never happened before he cheated, it didnt even cross my mind.he hasnt cheated since. I always end up gettin back with my boyfriend as he says he cant live without me. We are very close and I care for him and love him, but i keep saying to myself, if i'm so in love, why am i having these doubts and becoming attracted to other guys? Is this normal? When our relationship is good, it is very good, but when its bad its really bad. I think my self esteem is low and this has a fair bit to do with it. I feel awful that i get crushes on other guys but then again i say to myself I'm only 21 and the young part of me wants to go out and have fun and meet new people. Whenever we have broken up in the past, he has gotten aggressive when i meet someone new, pouring drinks over me, and even doing criminal damage to a guys car. Most recently i had been out on a night out and a group of us ended up round a guy that i knows flat. I must admit i am having feelings for this guy but wasnt even contemplating acting upon them. My boyf found out i was there and proceeded to kick in the door to the flats and smash up the intercom system ending up covered in blood. It sounds awful I know. Sometimes i do just want to escape it, other times i look at him and think we've been thru so much, shouldnt i just stick it out? I also am scared of breaking up with him bcos he wont let me go, he calls me continuously and appears at my house, cries and tells me how much im hurting him by doing this, and this all gets so much that i end up back with him bcos it seems like the easy option. What does everyone think?
slubberdegullion Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 You're relying on your feelings to tell you what to do. Bad idea. Big mistake. Use your head, sweetie. He's aggressive, and it's just a matter of time before he takes some of his anger out on you. Go NC on him immediately. If you absolutely must contact him one last time, tell him that you are afraid that he will become violent with you and you want absolutely no part of him. He will rant and cry and promise the moon, but actions speak louder than words, and clearly his actions are more than worrisome. If he continues to call or show up at your house, file a harrasment complaint with the police. Don't tell him you're going to do it, don't threaten him with "one more time and I go to the cops." Just do it. Good luck.
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