She dated me following a breakup? What would you do?

[Evolver]

Hi, just looking for advice on the following. A few weeks ago I got talking to a lady on a dating site as she liked my profile. It was a Saturday afternoon, she said she was feeling low as it was her birthday and all her friends were busy or away for the weekend. I already had plans to go out, so asked her to join me as I didn't want her to spend her birthday alone. We exchanged numbers and arranged to meet that evening, for me this was probably the quickest first date ever! We got on really well during the evening, however she confessed that she was dumped just two weeks before, after seeing someone for a few months, and was still heartbroken and trying to process what happened. When I walked her back to the car there we were quite affectionate and started kissing. She messaged me over the next couple of days and was quite keen to meet again. We had another date which went very well, lots of affection and kissing. She said she was going on vacation for a few days to clear her head over the previous breakup. While she was on vacation I did not attempt to contact her as I'm not the needy type and wanted to give her the space she needed. I did consider that she might be getting involved with me too soon after her breakup and it could be a rebound thing. When she came back from holiday, she texted me to say the few days on her own had given her clarity and helped her realize she's not ready to start a new relationship yet. I thought it was decent of her to contact me first rather than me having to chase her for an answer. From our conversations I was left with the impression that she likes me a lot but still recovering from the heartbreak, I also presumed she does not expect me to wait around for weeks until she is ready. My question is this: Should I give her a couple of months and try contacting her again (if I am still single) to see if she is in a better place mentally, and would like to meet up again? I guess the worse thing she can say is 'no'

[Alpacalia]

No, I don't think it's a good idea to reach out to her again. I think that would need to come from her. But my overall first impression of your first date was not one based on genuine mutual interest—more like she was looking for a distraction from her pain, and she had no where to go for her birthday, and you happened to be kind, available, etc.

I'd be very wary of reaching back out to her in a couple months, unless it was just to say hi or something but I wouldn't do it with the hope of reigniting something romantic. Because if her initial interest was more circumstantial than intentional, there's a real risk that you'd be stepping back into the same emotional dynamic.

[ExpatInItaly]

I agree with @Alpacalia that any further contact would need to come from her. 

It sounds like a very typical rebound situation. In the future, I would steer well clear of people fresh from a breakup who admit they are still heartbroken. That is never going to end well. 

[Gaeta]

No...it's dating course 101, do not date people just out of relationships. She's on a dating site to fill the void, she's not ready to date and when she's ready she will not desire to date you because you were the void-filler and you'll remind her of the pain she experienced while dating you. 

Edited Monday at 02:06 PM by Gaeta

[Alvi]

17 hours ago, Evolver said:

When she came back from holiday, she texted me to say the few days on her own had given her clarity and helped her realize she's not ready to start a new relationship yet.

Believe her when she tells you that she is not ready. I would just let it be.

17 hours ago, Evolver said:

Should I give her a couple of months and try contacting her again (if I am still single) to see if she is in a better place mentally, and would like to meet up again? I guess the worse thing she can say is 'no'

I guess you could. You never know what can happen, lol.  I mean, if you are still single and available in few month that is. But don't sit around waiting for her and thinking that she is the one that got away.  Go date other women.