She stole from me and I don't know what to tell her

[Tianananana]

For context I'm 26 and she's about 32

 

There's this girl who I'm not too hood of friends with, but there's no beef. We've known each other for ~2years, but don't really talk regularly. Recently we've been talking more, and she invited me over to do a garage sale with her and her dad. The garage sale is for Saturday and Sunday.

At the end of the first day we were packing up all of yhe items and she offered for me to store my stuff in a shed in their yard. I thought nothing of it so I did it. I couldn't take the items home because I don't drive, otherwise I would have. 

The next day (today, 9/14) I went over to her dad's house to the sale again. She was not home. I was still going to set up because it was okay with her dad and I need to make some money. When I got to the shed I noticed that my items were all hone through. I am missing 2 pairs of brand new shoes (jordans and nikes, valuable), a pack of magic the gathering cards, an electric self extinguishing as tray, and maybe a few other things but those are the main items. 

I know it was her because the only items missing were the ones she made comments about when she saw them, plus, who else would it be? No one buy her dad can access the shed. 

I'm wondering how to confront her without coming across as unapproachable, because I do want to keep in contact with her (she's a good asset, sue me) . 

Pls help

Edit: also, she's not picking up the phone for me or her dad, I only called once because I don't want to be all crazy about it

Her kids are supposed to visit today and I feel like she's really nervous too, that could be an additional reason for her disappearing, beside stealing my things. It's probably both. 

Edited Sunday at 09:25 PM by Tianananana
In post

[Alpacalia]

Did you ask her Dad where your items might be? It's only been a day...maybe she moved them or just hasn’t had the chance to give you the money for them in case she sold them or something. What did your message say?

It's rather clear that you feel she stole them so if that's the case, why would you want to remain associated with her? I mean, you referred to her as an asset, but it doesn't sound like you know her well enough to...trust her with anything that matters—especially your belongings.

Edited Monday at 01:45 AM by Alpacalia

[Tianananana]

The reason why I didn't mention it to her dad is that I don't want to worry the man, I see this as a me and her issue so no need to bring him into it. 

I know for a fact she didn't just move them, there would be no reason, plus everything was all rummaged through like if she did it in a hurry to get what she wanted and go. 

I'm pretty sure she was on Xanax that night which would definitely give her the propensity to steal. I think she went off on a bender and is using my stuff as a way to finance it.

I'm thinking about telling her something along the lines of: "hey, I know you ended ip taking those shoes from me the other night, I'm not hella mad, just let down,  but I need you to come clean instead of hiding, it's pretty obvious. I feel like that bar you took probably made you act without thinking about anything but the come up so I'm somewhat seeing this as more as a mistake than you intentionally f-ing me over. 

 

Idk it's not a completely finished thought ant ideas how to end the message?

[ShyViolet]

On 9/14/2025 at 5:22 PM, Tianananana said:

because I do want to keep in contact with her (she's a good asset, sue me) . 

 

A person who steals from you is a good asset?  What does this mean?

The fact that she's not answering your calls shows even more that she's guilty.  Why would you care about preserving the friendship with someone who does shady stuff like this?

I would confront her about the items, be very direct and just say that you want to know what happened to them and want them back.  If she refuses to admit it then there's not much you can do, but at the very least you stop associating with this sketchy person.  She's not your friend.

[Sanch62]

Confront a dishonest person and ask them to be honest?

Good luck with that.

[flitzanu]

just some friendly advice, don't accuse someone of being on drugs, and don't accuse drugs of being the reason for their actions.

that's not going to go over well, whether any of it is related or true.

[Alpacalia]

On 9/16/2025 at 1:01 AM, Tianananana said:

The reason why I didn't mention it to her dad is that I don't want to worry the man, I see this as a me and her issue so no need to bring him into it. 

I know for a fact she didn't just move them, there would be no reason, plus everything was all rummaged through like if she did it in a hurry to get what she wanted and go. 

I'm pretty sure she was on Xanax that night which would definitely give her the propensity to steal. I think she went off on a bender and is using my stuff as a way to finance it.

I'm thinking about telling her something along the lines of: "hey, I know you ended ip taking those shoes from me the other night, I'm not hella mad, just let down,  but I need you to come clean instead of hiding, it's pretty obvious. I feel like that bar you took probably made you act without thinking about anything but the come up so I'm somewhat seeing this as more as a mistake than you intentionally f-ing me over. 

 

Idk it's not a completely finished thought ant ideas how to end the message?

I wouldn't say anything about the drugs and I wouldn't accuse her right off the bat. I would call her and say you need to get your items back and want to arrange a time/day. See what she says. If she hems and haws, there's a decent chance you're not going to recover your items.