Could Old-School Connections Be Cooler Than Modern Online Dating?

[ninalakovic]

Hey guys,

I came across this awesome quote from Wes Kusmaul, the guy who started the Delphi social network in the ‘80s, and I had to share it with you all. He said, “In 1981 I launched the world's first online encyclopedia, which soon became the Delphi social network. Before we sold the business to Rupert Murdoch's News America Corp. a decade later, hundreds or thousands of couples had met on Delphi. Many of them later married.”

The best part? Delphi wasn’t a dating site at all, just text-only clubs where people connected over shared passions and values, no pics or anything. Leading with your looks or height back then was considered totally uncool. It’s such a contrast to today’s dating apps, which feel like a total meet market—swiping on photos and bios, all designed to keep you hooked for their profit instead of helping you find something real. So superficial, and it just doesn’t lead to those deep connections. That Delphi Effect, bonding over ideas and who you really are, seems way more genuine. Do you think this kind of dating would work out in today's day and age? Because at the end, everyone craves real connection.

[Sony12]

It was just the timing that helped it work better. Back when modern day online dating sites started people took them a lot more seriously as well. Talking to someone online was a new experience for people and they bought into the idea that you could really build a connection through online communication. People these days have all been around the block several times over when it comes to meeting people online and they have become jaded. That wasn't the case back when dating sites first started. So no it wouldn't work any better in today's world. It was just the timing that may have made it slightly more successful. 

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, ninalakovic said:

That Delphi Effect, bonding over ideas and who you really are, seems way more genuine.

I don't see what would stop some people from being any less genuine than some are on dating apps, honestly. 

Just because there were no pictures of users doesn't mean the people posting were of a higher calibre or more sincere in their interactions and intentions with others. 

4 hours ago, ninalakovic said:

t’s such a contrast to today’s dating apps, which feel like a total meet market—swiping on photos and bios, all designed to keep you hooked for their profit instead of helping you find something real. So superficial, and it just doesn’t lead to those deep connections.

Well, that isn't necessarily true. There are plenty of happy couples who met on dating apps. Plenty of them wind up married. 

The argument you're posing here is too black-and-white, in other words, and doesn't take into account the benefits and drawbacks of both approaches. 

 

[Els]

This still happens all the time - people meeting each other through their hobbies, both online and offline. Your particular example just sounds like people who met their spouse through WoW or such (and those really do exist, I know a few personally). 

[Gaeta]

Shallow people are everywhere, as much in real life as online. The same works the other way around. Online is a tool to help you meet people with similar goals an interests. It's not meant to connect. The connection happens, or not, when you agree to spend time together.

I have met men online and in real life randomly. No differences. People that are genuine and honest will keep on being genuine and honest even online. It's not a button people push on and off. Time wasters and liars are everywhere too, they are online, sitting next to you at the office, among your family and friends. 

I know a ton of people that have met their partner online, including myself, my daughter, my siblings, friends. 

[ThorLyonsSalem]

Many products that were introduced for one purpose had a latent affect to them.  Delphi was one of them, as was MySpace and Facebook (I met a few people through that platonic and otherwise), and I have heard of others who met through video game consoles where you can talk to one another (ex. XBox).  I had heard of some prototypes of social networking / the internet in general where people used it as a means to talk to others.  Why do we do this?  Some of it is out of curiosity, experimentation with a new means of communication, marveling at the fact you could do something like this (ex. going on a chat room and talking to someone halfway around the world).  And ... It combats loneliness.  We long for human connection when we are isolating ourselves more and more.

As to what you should do in order to meet people without the internet?  Do what everyone recommends - get involved with the community in some way, go to parties, take classes, say yes to every invite.  And most importantly, be happy with yourself.