LomeJeener Posted September 12 Posted September 12 I want to tell you an story about myself and then you give me your opinion: I was at work, during my breaks I went to the yard of the out of office, other people from other offices gathered in that yard, there was a girl was giving me signals by looking at me, at first she looked at me, for a few days, we were looking at eachother, after a while she stopped looking at me, then I thought maybe I am hallucinated, so I stopped looking at her, the moment I stopped looking at her, she started looking at me again, till today she was staring like too much at me, I said maybe this is my chance, so today at 6 pm when she had sit on her own at the yard, I approached her and said hello, how you doin, she said hello while playing with her phone ( she was hanging out on Ig or I don't know showin herself busy but I definetaly sure she was able to pay attention to me), I complimented her pants and asked my sister birthday is up and I wanted to buy her one of your pants, what's the name of the model and where can I get one, she smiled at once, like those smile when you say, "yeah I got him, he's in my trap", not those for mocking someone, and it was more like those smile when you get complimented and you can't control your smile and can't stop your smile, then she responded reluctantly without making eye contact "I don't know", and when I asked about the model, she responded "you can get it everywhere, I don't know" reluctantly and still no eye contact and acting playing with her phone, so when I saw she is relucatnt I said " thanks" and left. the question was just a starter and if she was interested I would ask for her phone number or IG, so did I do something wrong, and why she showed interest and acted reluctant? What's going on cause man I didn't want her at first, she started everything, I was just enjoying my tea at the yard during breaks, then she pushed me for this love and gave me this thought maybe you have a chance? Quote
Gebidozo Posted September 12 Posted September 12 5 minutes ago, LomeJeener said: What's going on cause man I didn't want her at first, she started everything, I was just enjoying my tea at the yard during breaks, then she pushed me for this love and gave me this thought maybe you have a chance? What? She started absolutely nothing, pushed you for nothing, and if you had any thoughts she certainly didn’t give them to you. On the contrary, she made it clear she wasn’t interested. 8 minutes ago, LomeJeener said: she smiled at once, like those smile when you say, "yeah I got him, he's in my trap" It always amazes me how some people make such wild assumptions about other people based on absolutely nothing. She smiled. That’s all. That smile could have meant absolutely anything at all. It might have meant, for example, “another guy hitting on me… how do I tell him I’m not interested in a nice, yet unambiguous way?”. 2 Quote
flitzanu Posted September 17 Posted September 17 there is ZERO evidence that this girl was flirting with you, and zero evidence that you should continue what you're doing, her reactions were very clear that she wasn't interested in talking to you. Quote
longdue Posted October 8 Posted October 8 Good job trusting your instinct about her interest. Pushing harder wouldn’t have led anywhere and could have created resentment, which is risky in a workplace. You seem unfamiliar with talking to women—which is normal if you never had guidance growing up. Start by practicing conversations with no agenda. When she looked at you, the best move would have been a three-second smile, then look away. If you later ended up near her (naturally, not forced), smile again and just say “hi.” If she responds and holds eye contact, you can continue with small talk. Focus on building comfort with simple exchanges. Over time, you’ll start to pick up on signals naturally. This takes patience, so don’t rush. You have plenty of time. These communication skills will also pay off in other areas of life, including career growth, so they’re worth developing. Quote
Sony12 Posted October 8 Posted October 8 There was very little there that would have indicated she was giving you signals. People look at lots of other people for all kinds of reasons many of which have nothing to do with them being romantically interested in them. I think most of this was all in your head. 1 Quote
smackie9 Posted October 10 Posted October 10 Instead of goofing around, just ask her out. If you don't get a firm yes, walk away. Quote
MsJayne Posted October 18 Posted October 18 Either she was completely uninterested in having a conversation with you or she has the social skills of a pot plant. Ask her out on a date and you'll find out quickly which it is. If she says yes hopefully she'll be less pot-plant-ish outside of the workplace. Quote
FredEire Posted October 19 Posted October 19 There was no signals here of interest other than you thought she was giving you the eye, which can often just be something you imagine. And when you tried to start a conversation honestly her reply was abrupt and not even that polite. So there seems to be less than nothing to this by the sound of it. Quote
FredEire Posted October 19 Posted October 19 It seems that more than ever these days for young guys there's a tendency to get stuck in PUA philosophy that there's always some sexual game going on with every single woman around you, and you have to analyse what way her legs are pointing, where she's looking etc. Once you get a bit older you realise unless she's clearly engaging with you, she was honestly probably just daydreaming and staring at the wall. 1 Quote
Gebidozo Posted October 20 Posted October 20 6 hours ago, FredEire said: It seems that more than ever these days for young guys there's a tendency to get stuck in PUA philosophy that there's always some sexual game going on with every single woman around you Oh yes, that madness should really stop. Every single woman I spoke to is deeply annoyed by men mistaking her normal everyday behavior for some sort of an elaborate sexual code. It’s so arrogant and insulting to try and interpret women’s behavior for them, to “decipher” it, implying that they are unable to express directly what they want and need to resort to the language of double entendre and secret gestures. 2 Quote
FredEire Posted October 20 Posted October 20 (edited) 44 minutes ago, Gebidozo said: Oh yes, that madness should really stop. Every single woman I spoke to is deeply annoyed by men mistaking her normal everyday behavior for some sort of an elaborate sexual code. It’s so arrogant and insulting to try and interpret women’s behavior for them, to “decipher” it, implying that they are unable to express directly what they want and need to resort to the language of double entendre and secret gestures. I don't think it's arrogance usually, it's young socially awkward men who haven't interacted with a lot of women thinking there's some kind of matrix code they need to crack, when usually it's more about working on themselves and getting out there and having actual interactions with women that aren't some stilted attempt at what they think is "alpha" flirtation. I remember as an impressionable teenager I got into PUA vids on YouTube and once I watched some guru explaining that when a girl is sitting down she's going to point her feet at whatever guy she's fantasising about. I took it to heart at for the next couple of weeks I was seeing where the attractive girls in my year were pointing their feet haha. Thankfully by my 20s I had realised all that stuff is largely nonsense, but I feel like the OP might still be into similar stuff. It's probably bigger than ever now with the likes of TikTok. Edited October 20 by FredEire Quote
SurfCity Posted October 20 Posted October 20 6 hours ago, FredEire said: I remember as an impressionable teenager I got into PUA vids on YouTube and once I watched some guru explaining that when a girl is sitting down she's going to point her feet at whatever guy she's fantasising about. I took it to heart at for the next couple of weeks I was seeing where the attractive girls in my year were pointing their feet haha. Did you ever think about where your feet were pointed and what that meant or did you think it was only women who pointed their feet at who they were attracted to? Maybe there was a girl who had also watched a YT video and was analyzing which direction your feet were pointed in to see if you were attracted to her! Lol Quote
FredEire Posted October 20 Posted October 20 4 hours ago, SurfCity said: Did you ever think about where your feet were pointed and what that meant or did you think it was only women who pointed their feet at who they were attracted to? Maybe there was a girl who had also watched a YT video and was analyzing which direction your feet were pointed in to see if you were attracted to her! Lol Lol. Unfortunately at that age the thought of going up to a girl I liked and saying hello felt like base-jumping off Mount Everest, so I never found out Quote
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