meltwithme Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 Well, I feel like I am doing better, but I went to see a girl last night, and it was nice to spend some quality time with a girl again instead of just some drinks at a bar we stayed in and watched the playoffs. Thing is it just wasn't the same... I don't know how to explain it, I was enjoying it but at the same time it felt strangly numb... like it wasn't even happening or something. When I left I missed my ex more than I had in a long time. Thing is the hope of my ex calling is coming back, a few weeks ago I had a dream, in the dream she and I were back together for the first time and things were going well, we were making out and then... I cant really remember it clearly but she said something to me like 'you should have heard the bed rocking the other night' (talking about her new man) I woke up sweating and feeling sick to my stomach. The day was a total haze... I really don't remember much of it and was just in constant depressed state, it's been a few weeks since that dream and I'm not in that state anymore but the other day I found something that reminded me of her. That same day I had a dejavu for like 5 minutes, I felt amazing, almost to the point of bliss of being in love... like I time traveled, I knew what was going to happen... I knew what the news reporter was about to say and said it out loud... then she (the reporter) repeated it verbatum. As you can probably tell I needed to vent all this because for some reason I'm beleiving she will get hit by cupid or something and come running back into my arms and I'm almost about to get choked up so I'ma stop typing but this hope.... I ****in hate that it's so hard to get rid of, please hope please just go away so I can be ok.
Clevelandfan Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I hear you man,...I've been ther ,..repeatedly. It definitely sux. It's hard doing NC and hoping that she'll call when she realizes what she doesn't have anymore. My ex has called and e-mailed me, apologizing and regretting everything. The problem is,..now she is pregnant. Isn't that the fly in the ointment now? She's telling me everything I want to hear now, cuz she realizes what an idiot she has set herself up with for 18 years and doesn't want to marry him,..at least that is what she is telling me. Who really knows what the hell is going on. Anyways,..I've got to sack up and figure out what the hell to do. At least you aren't in my shoes, you'd sleep even less.
someone_here Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 i understand what u felt. the first week i broke up with my ex, i dreamed of meeting him, hugged him ... after i woke up ... i felt terribly sad n i was crying like a kid. i felt so fragile and missed him . when i went out with other guy, just to socialize n tried to get over him, i could feel his presence. we used to meet up very often and we went everywhere together. so it is not easy for me at all. but what i am doing now is telling my self from time to time that he is not part of my life anymore . and he is not worthed to cry for and i would find someone better. i keep on telling this to my self .it may sound extreme, but it does help and you will believe it finally. well... when u felt miss your ex so badly, remember the bad things she ever done to you. and think what the main reason was for you to break up. because for the first days , i keep on blaming my self and i thought i have not been good enough , i blamed my self for the break up. until i realise, that it was not abt me , but abt him telling lie time to time and abt trust . when we remember the bad things that set us apart from our ex, we will be more realistic and willing to let it go. i know it is not easy... i am still in the healing process too. the more we think realistically, the faster we can get over it ... dont give up.. .feel free if you want to ask anything.. ok ?
Ezydriver Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 when i went out with other guy, just to socialize n tried to get over him, i could feel his presence. I'm glad I saw this, this is how I feel, its been 2 months for me now, and although I am over the bad, raw, panic attack, depressive stage, I'm still very sad and disappointed. I went for a drink the other night in a bar in town with 2 of my male friends, the first time since my split, every time I looked in a girls direction all I could do was still feel her presence and get reminded of when I used to go for a drink with her. Does this ever wear off? if it does its an extremely slow process, I feel that I'll never have that magic, connection or chemistry with another girl again, you know, those cosy times, learning about each other, showing each other your music collections, finding out that they're as passionate about something as you are, feeling that infatuation (which is always nice), falling in love, it feels like it was just exclusive to that one person, does this ever pass? I can't imagine meeting a girl again who I like in so many ways, who is magical just because she's there, its like I want to replace her with someone exactly like her, which I know is impossible and wrong. I just feel that I won't give anyone a chance because they're not her, I don't want to be stuck in that phase. Sorry if it looks like I've hijacked your thread. Steve.
Brittanyjean06 Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 It's been 5 months for me, and ijust had a dream about 'them' last night, it was terrible..but not as bad as it used to be--- yeah it does make you feel out of it and just wow.....thats what a heart ache is......we all love again, you just gotta get over this one- every one on here says you will be in love again. I meen if you can love once, who says you can't love again you really have to look at the bad things, i look at things that my ex has done to me...that i could have never done to him. try to hold done to that... always reamber that if you were being treated badly...there is better out there...and thats why this could be happening.
Author meltwithme Posted January 16, 2006 Author Posted January 16, 2006 damn, well I was talkin to a friend just to get things off my mind and told him I wanted to call her so bad but knew it would only make things worse since I was obsessivly attached, then he said something like 'don't call, because if she was a virgin and you guys didnt have problems, leave her alone, she just wants to see what else is out there and thinks the grass is greener because the new guy is... new, if you give her space trust me, she will come back, they always do.' And I don't know if it helped or made it worse, like atleast it made me not want to call anymore but it gave me more hope that she would be back... ahh this is so damn tough!
someone_here Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 guys , just want to hear your opinion.. what would be the best thing to do when we meet up our ex by chance... let say it happens we meet them with their new gf / bf ? until now i dont think i am ready to see my ex with other gal ... not infront of me... everyday i try to be prepared. should we just keep silent or say hi or just pretend that we saw nothing ?
CaliGuy Posted January 17, 2006 Posted January 17, 2006 guys , just want to hear your opinion.. what would be the best thing to do when we meet up our ex by chance... let say it happens we meet them with their new gf / bf ? until now i dont think i am ready to see my ex with other gal ... not infront of me... everyday i try to be prepared. should we just keep silent or say hi or just pretend that we saw nothing ? Smile, say hello and keep walking. Never, ever let them see that it's effected you in any way.
someone_here Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 Smile, say hello and keep walking. Never, ever let them see that it's effected you in any way. i think thats good idea. if i just keep quite and dont even look at him, is that ok ? i think it is not easy but however, i agree with u. i am preparing my self everyday... btw ..have u ever been this kind of situation ? if yes, what did u do ? were u affected ?
bysi Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 And I don't know if it helped or made it worse, like atleast it made me not want to call anymore but it gave me more hope that she would be back... ahh this is so damn tough! it happened to me once that my fren said my bf would be back n called me .my fren said to me that my ex bf asked for a break up becoz he was angry, after he settle.. he would call u. i was happy when i heard that and hoping it would happen. but it never happens. then i realize that i am not suppose to expect him to come back. i should look forward. i understand how u feel , when it seems that there is a hope. but i tell u , when u keep on waiting n waiting for her...n in the end it never happens , u will hurt your self again. i know it is not easy. dont bother whether she would be back or not. we never know what our exs r doing nw. they may be start dating new people on the other hand, we cry for them. they dont even care ... this is what i always say to my self .
CaliGuy Posted January 18, 2006 Posted January 18, 2006 i think thats good idea. if i just keep quite and dont even look at him, is that ok ? No because then he'll know he's getting to you. That's why looking at them and smiling and saying nothing or just "Hi" is ideal. You don't want to let them know they're getting to you. i think it is not easy but however, i agree with u. i am preparing my self everyday... btw ..have u ever been this kind of situation ? if yes, what did u do ? were u affected ? Yes, yesterday. I had to see her for something business related. I said a total of 6 words to her. "How are you?" and "See you later." That's it. I smiled but stayed professional and I never let her see me sweat. It's helps that I've had NC with her and haven't returned any of her emails. She got the point. I'm done with her.
someone_here Posted January 20, 2006 Posted January 20, 2006 Yes, yesterday. I had to see her for something business related. I said a total of 6 words to her. "How are you?" and "See you later." That's it. I smiled but stayed professional and I never let her see me sweat. It's helps that I've had NC with her and haven't returned any of her emails. She got the point. I'm done with her. frankly, what did u feel when u saw her ? i reall hope i could be strong as you. but , what made you never returned any of her emails? did she do something very bad (sorry i dont know your story) that made you never want her back? i just wonder it seems like for some people, once they break up they never want to reconcile . is NC the only best way after break up ?
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