Store run

[Jack Frost]

My wife goes to the grocery store but always ends up taking 2 hours when it should take no more than an hour ,she always says she forgot something and has to make a quick dash to the store should I be worried? 

[Gebidozo]

Worried about what, exactly?

[Jack Frost]

2 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

Worried about what, exactly?

Maybe she has a side piece, just a thought 

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, Jack Frost said:

Maybe she has a side piece, just a thought 

You suspect your wife of cheating because she spends a lot of time in the grocery store?

Did she do something in the past that would make you mistrust her like this now?

[LAspen]

This is a red flag. Follow her or ask someone you trust completely to follow her. But it needs to be done very carefully so that she doesn't figure it out. If you have the money, hire a PI.
I also advise you to snoop through her phone.

[LAspen]

Also, always remember the following.
Taking care of your safety is never humiliating. 
Anyone in a relationship has the right to suspect their partner of infidelity. Period.
Anyone who suspects a partner of infidelity has the right to find out the truth in all ways permitted by law. Period.
When finding out the truth, a person should be limited by their own moral attitudes (besides law), and not by the moral attitudes of their partner and others. Period.
It's an obvious statement, someone who doesn't accept it lives in a fairy tale, not in the real world. Or they're being hypocritical.

[Jack Frost]

1 hour ago, Gebidozo said:

You suspect your wife of cheating because she spends a lot of time in the grocery store?

Did she do something in the past that would make you mistrust her like this now?

She spends alot of time on the phone even sits in the car for about 10 minutes when she gets home 

[Jack Frost]

1 hour ago, LAspen said:

This is a red flag. Follow her or ask someone you trust completely to follow her. But it needs to be done very carefully so that she doesn't figure it out. If you have the money, hire a PI.
I also advise you to snoop through her phone.

Thanks alot sure will look into a P.I 

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, Jack Frost said:

She spends alot of time on the phone even sits in the car for about 10 minutes when she gets home 

If you mistrust her so much that you suspect her of cheating because she has her private life and talks to people on the phone, maybe you should just divorce her.

You should either trust your partner, or not be with that partner.

 

[Els]

If you feel the need to obsess over your partner spending 2 hours in the store or 10 minutes on the phone, something is horrifically wrong with either the relationship or you (or both).

Edited September 11 by Els

[Sony12]

Many women like to shop and to talk on the phone. Unless you know she is always talking to another guy it doesn't really mean much at all.

[S2B]

9 hours ago, Jack Frost said:

She spends alot of time on the phone even sits in the car for about 10 minutes when she gets home 

Put a voice activated recorder under her car seat. Retrieve it and see who she talks to and what she says.

[Lotsgoingon]

What does she say she's doing?

Also, there are people who don't like to take time alone or don't know how to ask their partner not to bother them for an hour or two. And some of these folks will use errands to get their totally alone time. 

I'm not dismissing your worry. I'm just suggesting another possible angle on your partner's behavior. 

[MsJayne]

Is she a talker? My ex-partner could go to the shop and come back two hours later, 5 minutes to drive to and from the shop and 5 mins in the store, and the rest of the time striking up conversations with anyone who has ears and the time of day. Next time she says she forgot something tell her you have to go to the store and you'll pick up whatever she forgot, or say you're going with her, and gauge her reaction. Or wait until she's in the shower and check her 'phone, or buy a tracker that you can install on her car, or, last resort, confront her and ask her why she spends so much time at the store. 

Edited September 11 by MsJayne

[Jack Frost]

14 hours ago, Els said:

If you feel the need to obsess over your partner spending 2 hours in the store or 10 minutes on the phone, something is horrifically wrong with either the relationship or you (or both).

There's no obsession my only worry is because I also have a night job and I'm hardly home at night and we barely have time to cuddle or spend any quality time anymore..

[Jack Frost]

3 hours ago, MsJayne said:

Is she a talker? My ex-partner could go to the shop and come back two hours later, 5 minutes to drive to and from the shop and 5 mins in the store, and the rest of the time striking up conversations with anyone who has ears and the time of day. Next time she says she forgot something tell her you have to go to the store and you'll pick up whatever she forgot, or say you're going with her, and gauge her reaction. Or wait until she's in the shower and check her 'phone, or buy a tracker that you can install on her car, or, last resort, confront her and ask her why she spends so much time at the store. 

Thanks I will definitely look into my options all these will help 

[Jack Frost]

10 hours ago, Sony12 said:

Many women like to shop and to talk on the phone. Unless you know she is always talking to another guy it doesn't really mean much at all.

Sure having friends isn't a crime but I don't work nights and we hardly spend time anymore 

[Jack Frost]

7 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

What does she say she's doing?

Also, there are people who don't like to take time alone or don't know how to ask their partner not to bother them for an hour or two. And some of these folks will use errands to get their totally alone time. 

I'm not dismissing your worry. I'm just suggesting another possible angle on your partner's behavior. 

Thanks will take into consideration  

[Jack Frost]

19 hours ago, Gebidozo said:

You suspect your wife of cheating because she spends a lot of time in the grocery store?

Did she do something in the past that would make you mistrust her like this now?

No but she is really beautiful so I was just looking for suggestions 

[Gebidozo]

10 minutes ago, Jack Frost said:

There's no obsession my only worry is because I also have a night job and I'm hardly home at night and we barely have time to cuddle or spend any quality time anymore..

That is a different problem that you should address. Talk to your wife so that you could both arrange to have some quality time between yourselves. Tell her how you feel.

Mistrusting her and spying on her will only push you further away from each other and create a breach in the relationship that will be very hard to repair.

[Jack Frost]

7 hours ago, Lotsgoingon said:

What does she say she's doing?

Also, there are people who don't like to take time alone or don't know how to ask their partner not to bother them for an hour or two. And some of these folks will use errands to get their totally alone time. 

I'm not dismissing your worry. I'm just suggesting another possible angle on your partner's behavior. 

Thanks for the suggestion..So should I put my trust in her if she's going on a business trip for the week ...

[Jack Frost]

2 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

That is a different problem that you should address. Talk to your wife so that you could both arrange to have some quality time between yourselves. Tell her how you feel.

Mistrusting her and spying on her will only push you further away from each other and create a breach in the relationship that will be very hard to repair.

Your definitely right spying would be kinda creepy..I will have a sit with her when the time is right 

[Lotsgoingon]

Well start tracking this. How often does her 2-hour disappearance act occur? Track it down---not just use memory. Write this down days and times and statements. For a while.

Don't worry about lack of trust. You are already in the arena of lack of trust. You can't just turn trust back on--and you don't want to. The situation (the distrust) is uncomfortable. Pretending you trust her gets you nowhere. 

So if you want to hire a PI, I don't have a problem with this. First, I just wanna make sure you are really asking her and insisting on an answer. There are people in her situation who turn out to be attending a religious group or going to a therapy meeting--things they don't want to share (for whatever reason) with their partner. 

I know a case of a woman who was disappearing suddenly  ... who, I'm not making this up, was secretly attending law school! She didn't think her husband would approve. She wanted to show that she could attend law school and still be a good wife and mother. 

And the basic question: do you feel connected with her? Have you really expressed your concern!?

[flitzanu]

this seems like a lot of mental gymnastics to get to this point instead of just making the assumption that she needs to make better shopping lists, or she just sucks at shopping.

immediately going to "hire a PI" because she spends longer than you think she should be while shopping is jumping over a whole lot of other logical reasons for the time.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

On 9/12/2025 at 3:39 AM, Jack Frost said:

Thanks for the suggestion..So should I put my trust in her if she's going on a business trip for the week ...

Well, yes. She is your wife. Unless she has given you a legitimate reason not to trust her, it would be strange to be worried about her going on a business trip. 

I do not recommend spying on her. Talk to her and express your concerns about your lack of quality time together. Hear her. She might have the same concerns. It sounds like there is a communication gap here and your mind is doing all sorts of spinning, imagining she is cheating. Is she that type of person? Or is she someone who you've known to be moral, honest and loyal to you? 

Unless you're leaving out important information, I don't think you have a reason to be so suspicious of her at this point.