Considering divorce

[Seasons225]

So both us age 40, it’s been year of hell. 
 

my wife has become a mobile game addict discovered emotional fair where she defended to man like he was her husband and then recently $50,000 in personal credit card debt. I  was willing to work on things every time I ask questions Whether it’s about the phone about the game about the finances about this particular person, it always ends up into gaslighting and arguments, and it’s been going on for months and months.

I’m considering filing for divorce however I’m worried about the credit card debt my kids house mortgage and I’m not really sure where to begin. I don’t trust my wife anymore and I’m nervous that she’s going to continue back up credit card debt because we can never talk about a budget. It’s always a hard conversation and every time we do, she tells me things like she regrets marrying me and she shouldn’t be in this relationship. But then on the flipside, she talks about having more children. I know this sounds very toxic.

 

we both make someone equal salary, approx Similar pension and 401k totals. She makes 10k more. She has 50k debt plus car loan plus student loan from before marriage

i have 3k debt , 3k car loan  and saved upwards 15k-20k in emergency fund just in case. We live in NY and Im not sure what’s to do to stop the liability of her cards. If she took out a personal loan the first time and that didn’t work now a second personal loan to consolidate she’s really digging herself in a hole and she refuses to accept it. 
 

my kids are six and eight

 

any advice would help