New here, what do I expect?

[JamieB]

Hi everyone, I am new to this messageboard and new to dating. I am separated and was married/in a relationship for the past 10 years. I am 28 years old. I have my first date with someone else tomorrow night.

 

I have no clue about how dating works these days. What should I expect? I gather from reading the threads already here that it's rare for people to jump right in bed so that's a relief, because I would not be comfortable with that.

 

If you all could give me some idea of what goes on these days, it would be so helpful to me. For example, should I not invite anyone to my house unless I plan on having sex? Do people make out on the couch and leave it at that?

 

I just feel so lost since I've been out of the scene for a decade. Thanks for any words of wisdom!

[whichwayisup]

I wouldn't do any making out on the first date. And definately don't go back to your house unless you're very comfy with her. Stick to the restaurant. Go for a walk afterwards too, that's nice.

 

Be friendly, funny and ask her questions about her life. If you're nervous, be upfront about it! Make a joke of it too, that way she doesn't feel weird and uncomfortable.

 

Don't go into detail about your ex and the separation, women don't wanna hear all the gory details...Unless you aren't clicking with her, it's a sure way of ruining the chances for a second date.

 

Look forward to an update!

 

REMEMBER, have fun! Keep it light hearted.

[Gold Pile]

your name and post make your gender unclear. I'm guessing female?

[whichwayisup]

Geez, I'm sorry, just the way that read, I assumed a guy. I could be wrong.

(Which would make GP right! LOL!)

[JamieB]

Sorry, yes I am female.

 

Thanks for your advice though, it can probably apply either way for a first date.

[barfool]

From my experience "come back to my place to watch a movie" directly translates to "come back to my place and warm up my bed." But this is translating from male to female, so for a woman it would not neccessarily mean the same thing. Though I'm sure a guy would interpret it as such.

 

What you do and should expect from the first date depends on the guy. Oddly enough the more I like and respect a guy the less I will do. But that just means I want something other than a significant overnight relationship.

 

A good guy should respect your wishes and leave it at "making out on the couch" if that's all you feel comfortable doing. Basically only do what you feel comfortable and he pressures you then he is not worthwhile.

 

Good luck and give an update!

[slubberdegullion]

Tips for a good first date:

• Maintain eye contact;
  
• Ask him about things he's interested in;
  
• Smile;
  
• If at a restaurant, offer him some food off your plate. Put a morsel on your fork and gently ask him if he would like some of (whatever it is), then slide the fork into his mouth;
  
• Ask his opinion about world events;
  
• Listen actively;
  
• At the end of the evening, a gentle kiss is appropriate.
  

 

Tips for a bad first date:

• Keep him waiting;
  
• Belch;
  
• Phart;
  
• Tell him all about your ex and how miserable he was;
  
• Talk a lot about celebrities;
  
• Show him your skull tattoo;
  
• Be indifferent to him;
  
• Interrupt him;
  
• Blow your nose in your hand and then wipe it on the tablecloth;
  
• Tell him about your uncomfortable spell with gastrointestinitis;
  
• When he offers to buy you a drink, ask him, "No thanks, but can I have the money instead?";
  
• Ask him how much he makes.

 

Good luck!

[JamieB]

Thanks everyone.

 

This is someone I met in my town through myspace. I have never done the internet thing before so it's been interesting. We started out just emailing through the myspace site, then we did IM, and now we have talked on the phone. So far everything has been very casual, just talking about ourselves etc., though it does appear we have a lot in common. We decided to have a "real date" and are meeting at a restaurant for dinner.

 

The whole blowing-my-nose on the table cloth thing will be hard to avoid, but I'll do my best.

[Gold Pile]

Geez, I'm sorry, just the way that read, I assumed a guy. I could be wrong.

(Which would make GP right! LOL!)

 

Again!