I'm stuck on a girl who I may never see again

[Bruce Springsteen]

Last year (School year) I took a co-op course and I ended up getting a placement at this auto shop at the parts desk. At the desk with me was this absolutely gorgeous girl, and at some point I caught feelings for her. Also, it is important to note that I did have a gf at this time, but unfortunately she was busy cheating on me and leaving me on delivered while she texted another dude. Basically she neglected me and worsened my mental health. She barely talked to me, and when she did it just felt so fake that I stopped trying, she was always lying to me, and when I met this new girl who was so nice and sweet to me, I kinda fell for her. 

Anyways that's the whole backstory, but right now its been about 2 months since the semester ended, and I still haven't been able to get her out of my head. I talked to her a bunch during my time there, I bought her a drink once too when the gas station had a 2 for 1, and she seemed really happy. I've been thinking about her almost every single day since my last day, and this semester I also have co op and I'm going to the same shop again, this time as a mechanic. For some reason I really hope she's there, even though I know there's no way in hell that she would ever like me. I'm not really the best looking and for this reason I didn't have a crush on anyone since 8th grade, and this is exactly why, but this time I couldn't even stop myself. I don't know what to do, I keep thinking about all the conversations we had, how nice she was, how beautiful she was, and I wish I could go back and fix my mistakes so bad but I know I can't and I know she'll never ever ever like me. I don't know if I should try my chances again if she's there when I go back for work, or if I should leave it, I don't know anything. 

I don't even know if she really didn't like me, the first time I asked for her snap she was on her phone and she nodded, when she got off her phone a customer came and eventually she got busy with a whole line, eventually I had to get home so I left. Second time, I asked her and she was looking at me, she said yes, and I turned around to get my phone, but instead I just f***ing walked away towards my side of the desk and stayed there. So I have no clue if she was about to give it to me or she wasn't. I noticed after that happened she kinda moved to the service desk which was perpendicular to the parts desk, but she was also getting trained to do more service work instead of parts. It's really confusing, I know. When I go back and she's there, should I just let it go? Did I get rejected without even knowing it? 

[MsJayne]

1 hour ago, Bruce Springsteen said:

there's no way in hell that she would ever like me

 

1 hour ago, Bruce Springsteen said:

I know she'll never ever ever like me

 

1 hour ago, Bruce Springsteen said:

I don't even know if she really didn't like me

Sheesh! Stop with all the negative self-talk! If/when you get the chance just ask her out. She can only say no, and if she does it's not the end of the world. If she says yes, and you take her out on a date, for Goodness sake don't start putting yourself down during conversation because that would drive her away for sure. Be positive about her, tell yourself she thinks you're hot and can't wait for you to ask her out on a date, the effects of positive thinking are real. 

[Gebidozo]

What @MsJayne said.

Ask her out, be confident. You never know what might happen.

If you don’t do anything, you’ll lose this chance and you’ll regret it. If you ask her out, the worst that can happen is that she refuses, but then you’ll know for sure where you stand.

[Acacia98]

OP, you need to stop being apologetic about your existence. It's great that you exist and that you're taking up space in this world. You are supposed to be here. If someone else told you the opposite during your earlier years, then that person was an idiot.

It's okay for you to ask a woman you like out. It's okay for her to say yes. It's okay for her to say no. Acceptance and rejection are both normal parts of life. We all experience them.

Edited Saturday at 11:57 AM by Acacia98