beangirl46 Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Anyone have any advice for how to both go through a break-up and successfully do a bunch of schoolwork (exams and papers) at the same time?
kjo314 Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 My g/f broke up with me over the phone 3 hours before my finals started.... It sucked and I had a hard time concentrating... Depends on the breakup but what I did was call someone, bitch about it, and then get it off my mind before my final. It is like in war... when you are in the heat of a battle and you lose your best friend there is a time to mourn them... but the time is not then. You will only screw yourself over if you stay at home. You won't want to do anything just sit there and feel miserable. Trust me THIS DOESN'T HELP! Maybe get together with some people... some friends... and study..people who are in the same class... Hell women that are in the same class . I find being around people no matter in what way is the best way to deal with this panic. Even if you jsut goto the library or the park or somewhere that people are just around. It sucks that this happened to you and I hope that it doesn't affect your studies.. Just remember if she did this to you then she isn't worth it. Depends on the cricumstance but I bet that you can find someone better.
johan Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 I've been there. I broke up with a girl in college and my grades went to hell. I don't know the solution, except you have to find a way to get into a good state of mind about things. I would recommend you train yourself to think only about your future. The breakup and the problems that caused it are in the past. School and your career are your future and you can be excited about them when you aren't dwelling on what happened before. I know it's easier said than done, but it's the only answer I know of. Every time you think of your ex just re-focus on what you're excited to do with your life. Every time you think of things you or your ex did wrong, just think about what you want from your next relationship. Don't try to figure out what happened. You might think you need to understand it, but that would require dwelling on it and that would be a huge, debilitating distraction. You'll figure it out regardless someday. That's all I got. Good luck.
Author beangirl46 Posted January 15, 2006 Author Posted January 15, 2006 Thanks for your pointers and encouragement. . . I think you're right. Unfortunately, I'm stuck at home studying while going through this break-up-- my grad school is on the other side of the country. Further there are no people around here-- I live in the wilderness of rural suburbia. There is a local library, but it is open like 3 hours every day. The few friends I have here moved out of the area long ago to go to school in different places. So instead of surrounding myself with people, I'm just trying to think of how exciting it's going to be when I go back to school. I'm going to go out, make friends, start anew, and really live it up. Completely my studies for finals this break is going to be the first step in this battle into the future. I'm proud of my ability to give my heart to someone and to create love, but now it's time to be smart and wise too-- to put all that I've learned into action, and to create that love with someone who knows how to run with it. I can do that. My ex will be okay-- as okay as he was before. I've shown him what I have to offer, I've given him as much as I can, I've put all my skills to use to try to make the relationship work-- and he has still rejected it. It's his loss. He'll be okay-- as okay as he was before. He'll find what he needs, without me sacrificing myself to give him what he needs. Okay, now I just have to think about me, and what I have to do. It's the me show now. ME.
Author beangirl46 Posted January 15, 2006 Author Posted January 15, 2006 Thanks, Johan. . . Great advice. I'll put that visualization strategy into use.
kjo314 Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Awesome... good job... LS will always be here for you... I knwo what you are going through. Just remember... they broke up with you.. It is nothing you did it was all him. He doesn't deserve you. It will feel better soon trust me.. I never thought it wouldget better but it is. We are here for you !
Becoming Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Way to go beangirl! That's the attitude. You know you did all you could and that it's not you. (Re-read this when that belief in yourself falters!) 1
djrdei Posted January 16, 2006 Posted January 16, 2006 I know how u feel beangirl, my gf just broke up with me and i will begin student teaching this week. She has since returned to college and has all her friends there while i will be out at some strange high school tryint to manage teaching and completing all the graded paperwok that the university makes us do. I feel like my social life, what little one i had, will die because of my education commitment. I hope you work something out, i know its hard.
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