prdeeva Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 okay, so here is the situation. There is a girl at my bf's work who has been making the major moves on him. I have not personally witnessed this but I have been told by some of his co-workers that she is really into MY bf. Anyway, my bf tells me he is going snowboarding with a mutual friend of ours. Cool, no problem... I will cut to the chase... Last night after my bf gets home from snowboarding, he is so tired that he goes directly to bed. Nothing strange about that.... But, his cell phone rings.....I pick it up..... Guess who? You got it... the girl from work.... of course she doesn't say anything when she hears my voice. The only reason I know it is her is because my bf has a habit of programming names in his phone so her name popped up.... Anyway, this morning I ask him why she would be calling.. He goes on to tell me that the mutual friend of ours had invited this girl to go snowboarding with them yesterday. So, I freak out.... "you spent the entire day with this girl... why the heck didn't you tell me she was going?" His excuse was " I didn't want you to tell me I couldn't go." Okay, so here is my question.... what would you guys do if this happened to you? Would any of you be okay with this or would you be pissed like I am?
tinktronik Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 okay, so here is the situation. There is a girl at my bf's work who has been making the major moves on him. I have not personally witnessed this but I have been told by some of his co-workers that she is really into MY bf. Anyway, my bf tells me he is going snowboarding with a mutual friend of ours. Cool, no problem... I will cut to the chase... Last night after my bf gets home from snowboarding, he is so tired that he goes directly to bed. Nothing strange about that.... But, his cell phone rings.....I pick it up..... Guess who? You got it... the girl from work.... of course she doesn't say anything when she hears my voice. The only reason I know it is her is because my bf has a habit of programming names in his phone so her name popped up.... Anyway, this morning I ask him why she would be calling.. He goes on to tell me that the mutual friend of ours had invited this girl to go snowboarding with them yesterday. So, I freak out.... "you spent the entire day with this girl... why the heck didn't you tell me she was going?" His excuse was " I didn't want you to tell me I couldn't go." Okay, so here is my question.... what would you guys do if this happened to you? Would any of you be okay with this or would you be pissed like I am? 1st, your boyfriend isent property so the use of MY b/f is a bit over the top.But if you know this girl is after him he has her name programmed into his cell,and hes withholding info reguarding her , I would def be suspisious.
Author prdeeva Posted January 15, 2006 Author Posted January 15, 2006 I guess saying MY b/f was a little crazy... I am not usually paranoid but I find this a little too much to handle. If you read a thread I posted a few months back, you would see that we have been in a rut in our relationship and I think this might have a little something to do with it..... As far as being suspicious, I completely agree... So now what do I do?
lilmoma1973 Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 If nothing was going on then why wouldn't he of told you that she was going,if there wasn't anything to it..I do not agree with him having her in his cell!! I know you should trust him but i feel that there is a reason not to.. Ask him to take her out of the cell and see his reaction ? If he wants you he will .. Why do you another girl's number when you are in a relationship? You need to ask him these questions ..
cygny Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Take a very very big step back. If she is calling him after a day out together that you weren't invited to and you did not know about, something may be up. If the call was on the up and up why didn't she act normal. no this does not feel right at all. don't let him screw with your mind and tell you somehow this is your fault. If you are in an exclusive relationship there are certain expectations. i do not like that he put you on the defensive about this. no that is not right. Just tell him you need some space.
lilmoma1973 Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 Take a very very big step back. If she is calling him after a day out together that you weren't invited to and you did not know about, something may be up. If the call was on the up and up why didn't she act normal. no this does not feel right at all. don't let him screw with your mind and tell you somehow this is your fault. Just tell him you need some space. Totally agree with cgny!! If nothing happen why hang up .. Something went on at that trip .. I think they hooked up and she is scared you going to find out!!
cygny Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 sounds like she is chasing him and he is open to it. if you hang on or hound him he will know you are hooked into him and use it against you. he will feel less attracted to you. his ego will get soooo big.
Author prdeeva Posted January 15, 2006 Author Posted January 15, 2006 Thanks for the advice. Unfortunately this is not only an exclusive relationship, but we have a child together and are in the process of buying a house together. I am so afraid that if I continue with this relationship, I am the one who is going to get hurt.. I am not a weak person and my first instinct is to tell him to get the he!! out of my life, but what about our son?
cygny Posted January 15, 2006 Posted January 15, 2006 yikes i would say better to clarify things now than later. if you are wishy washy now it will come back and bite you in the behind. i don't want you to get hurt. lots of single parents out there who are happy. not the end of the world. hope you can sort this out and that it works out. i would be very leery of going ahead with the house though. it gives him so much leverage--even more than he has now with your child.
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