Is he still interested?

[Jo198339]

I'm 42 years old and I met a 48 year old man on a online dating site. We've been on just two dates and I'm already getting a feeling of something not being right, but I'm not sure if it's something not right or me just being paranoid. The first date appeared to go well. We talked and talked for several hours in a coffee shop then he eventually asked me back to his place. I went back to his for about 4 hrs where we talked loads more. We kissed and cuddled but never slept together. When we kissed he  always turned it into passionate kissing. Also, on one occasion he put  his finger in my mouth in a sexual kind of way. Yes I found this very weird and he could tell that it took me by surprise so he apologised. He also said a lot about wanting to meet up for dates in the future and how he wants to build a connection with me etc. He even suggested that he come to my place to stay the night but also suggested that he sleep on the sofa.  We both agreed on a second date and went out 4 days later. We went out for a meal and then went for a walk after. We did kiss where yet again he made it passionate. He did ask me back to his place after but this time I told him I should be going home but I would like to see him again. He agreed with this and asked me to text him when I got home as he wants to know that I'm home safe. Apart from the passionate kissing and him putting his finger in my mouth, he appeared to be a lovely sweet man. We ended this date based on the fact that we would go out again and I would let him know what days I could do. He replied by saying "yes ok any time". With this I let him know in a text just several days later what days I could do. that was his opportunity to pick any day that I gave him. But instead he replies with "I hope to see you soon" with no actual date he wanted to meet up. I then said "I'm guessing you can't say a particular date yet". He replied "maybe Friday". I said to him to let me know soon. I've waited and I've heard nothing. Now I'm not sure if this man is just busy or because I don't show an interest in sex he's no longer interested. I did point out on that first date that I wouldn't be having sex at the beginning as I wanted to get to know him for him. He knows how much I like him and says that he really likes me too. I'm not sure whether he is genuine or am I just being paranoid due to negative things that have happened in the past. 

Edited 16 hours ago by a LoveShack.org Moderator
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[DeniseB]

Doesn’t sound like he’s that interested. It’s basic common courtesy to be clear with communication and to follow up on the plan. Don’t reach back out to him. This is the time to occupy your time with other things or meet someone else. If or when he reaches out, ask him what happened and make sure you talk about communication. If he doesn’t reach out, move on. You all are dating online and maybe he has found interest elsewhere. Get to know others as well so you don’t put all this energy/time into one person — I’m sure that’s what he’s doing. It sucks, but that’s dating. 

[Sony12]

It's pretty clear he just wanted to get laid. Even though you told him you weren't going to have sex with him in the beginning often times people do anyways because they get caught up in the moment or change their mind because of the attraction they are feeling. So he was probably just testing out how serious you were about that statement.

When you pretty much declined any sexual interaction on the second date that was pretty much his sign that he indeed wasn't going to get what he wanted.

[smackie9]

Girrrrl, That man is a pig. First impressions count. He's already making a very forward sexual gesture on the first date...like that is so ew. The "He's so nice" is a front to how he actually is. Pro tip: don't be going to a stranger's place like that, you could be putting yourself in a compromising situation. When saying yes to going to their place, to them that's you saying yes to a sexual encounter. There are a lot of predatory men on those apps. You need to be more aware/ make note on what is actually happening. Do it right. Have a man romance you, take you out on dates and really get to know you intellectually before heading to his place for an evening. I know you are an adult you do whatever you want, but there are steps to be taken if you want to find yourself a quality partner. Just don't fall for their smokescreen. 

[Alpacalia]

Yeah, ewe, he stuck his finger in your mouth—like it was some kind of romantic dental exam.

Honestly, if passionate kissing is his default setting and finger-in-mouth is his idea of intimacy, you might want to keep a bottle of hand sanitizer in your purse and a polite exit strategy in your back pocket.