Should I keep a baby with someone I can’t seem to get along with?

[Lily1236]

I have known and been friends with my cousin’s husband’s best friend for years. My cousin has seen my previous toxic relationships and encouraged me to try to have a relationship with her husband's friend the past year because she believed he was a very loving partner. We’ll call him A. After a year, I gave it a chance. We started talking and seeing one another immediately after he moved out of another female’s apartment and he was grieving a miscarriage. He told me he’s always wanted to be a dad.

We had a relationship for two months. Pretty much, he has a tit-for-tat attitude and I have an issue with getting in my head and pushing people away because I’m scared. My fear is loving someone more than they love me, making me want to run away, and his fear is abandonment. But he told me he can’t stop being guarded unless I stop running. But on my side, I feel like I struggle to stop running away if he’s going to continue to be guarded.. and round and round it goes. So I said I can’t do this.

Now I’m pregnant with his child. Of course he wants me to keep it and wants to work it out. I don’t know if I want to. I want to get my doctorate out of state in a couple of years after saving some money. He said he had no issue with this, but my issue is we do not see eye to eye. We don’t get along. I know I’m not perfect and have issues, but I feel like it’s a constant one-up battle. And I’m afraid of upsetting my cousin and her husband because they want us to be civil for their gatherings…

I am so at a loss and scared. I told A I didn’t want to keep it and he told me “I want nothing to do with your decision because it’s not even what I want. Carry on with it if you think it’s best. There’s no reason for you to contact me after this. Thanks.” Of course my hormones now, I wrongfully went off the handle because I feel abandoned if it’s not what he wants. Someone please give me some advice. Please

[ExpatInItaly]

I think it would be terribly unwise to have a baby with this man. 

You two donìt like each other and are clearly not compatible. A baby is going to magnify those issues. 

[livingalife2009]

If you are not ready to care for a child, it's probably not a good idea to have a child regardless of a guy.

[stillafool]

You need to stop trying to make your cousin and her husband happy and care more about what you want and what is best for you.  Neither you or this man seems to care very much about each other so think long and hard before you have a baby with him.

[ShyViolet]

It would be a terrible decision to bring a baby into the world with this man who you are not even in a relationship with.  Why would you even do that.  Ultimately only you can make this decision.  But stop worrying about what your cousin wants you to do.  This is your decision and no one else's.