Maybe I was the side guy all along

[Foolforlove82]

Started dating this woman(a coworker) almost a year ago. Great chemistry, felt right, got along, and thought we had a future. She is a little older, a widow, and looking for something permanent. I told her I simply wanted to get to know her better and see what happens. Over time, it felt so right and it seemed like we could make it happen. I am separated and have a special needs kid so I have a lot on my plate, but it wasn't a problem.

A couple months in, she would start texting all the time during our dates and I happened to see one while approaching her from the back. It said, "miss you, come over?", which she replied, "miss you too". I thought it was odd and asked her, and she said it was her ex. She had previously stated that she told him about me so I told her it was odd that this was going on and it made me uncomfortable. She told me I was being jealous. Well, two days later, her truck was at his house(he lives very close to our work). I called her on it and she denied it and was upset I'd even accuse her. Then the next day, it was there again. We had a trip planned for that week but after the second time, she simply ghosted me and we didn't go on out trip. So the next time we worked together, I wanted answers. She said she thought I was going to break up with her and didn't want to go through that. She also said she went on a trip with him at the same time we were supposed to. She said I had the wrong idea and that she wanted to be with me. Like an idiot, I forgave her and said I wanted to make it right.

Things were ok for a while but once again, she went to his house. I didn't confront her but she came out and said that she went over to get money from him. I wasn't happy about this and told her I couldn't trust her anymore. again, she told me I had the wrong idea. 

After a couple more(suspicious) months, she came to me and said she hadn't been all in the whole time but now she was. That she had been seeing both of us but only wanted to see me now(not exactly comforting words). I told her if she wants to be with me that she needs to sever contact with him as I won't live like this. She agreed and things were great for a little bit. maybe a month later, she said she had to go to his place to feed his cats. Of course this upset me but again she said I had no reason to be suspicious. Over the summer, my son had some escalating behavior issues, so I became a little preoccupied and we didn't spend as much time together. She told me she wanted a ring from me. I told her I had to get my sons issues under control before I could pull that trigger, but that I also needed the other guy to be GONE before I would commit to that. she said he was planning on moving away and it wasn't an issue.

I had again noticed the texts in his name coming in on her phone in front of me. I didn't say anything as I was exhausted over the whole subject and I put the rose colored glasses on. A couple weeks ago, she stated she didn't know if she could continue with my son having the issues he's having, which I understood. I told her it is a process and it may take some time but that I love her and want to make it work. She agreed and we had a great week. Well, she gave it all of a week before telling me she was too impatient to wait and see if he gets better and wants to move on. At this point, I knew there was nothing to fight for so I told her I knew she was cheating again. She told me she felt cornered and that no one tells her what to do, so that's why she kept seeing him. 

Looking back, I was foolish to giver her so many chances. I felt bad for her losing her husband and always held back my anger for what she was doing. It's obvious she never viewed me as a partner as one would not do this. I truly am a fool for love...

Edited August 27 by Foolforlove82
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