Dating a busy man- does it seem like he’s interested in something serious?

[Redarrow91]

A while back, I met a guy on a dating app, and he asked me out the following day, which I agreed to. I liked him, we got on. He told me on the date that he was glad I was able to make it that day as he would be too busy for the next 2 weeks for another date.

So 2 weeks later, we arranged a date and went to eat out. I enjoyed it, we kissed and held hands. There was a lot of intense staring at eachother without saying speaking across the table, he made small hints at being with me in future. He also let me know that he had a work trip abroad the following week but we made some loose plans to meet before this.

So he recently texted me saying that he doesn’t think he’ll be able to meet this weekend as he has alot of preparation to do for his trip abroad, he’s leaving tomorrow. As much as I’m disappointed, I kind of get that he’s busy before a trip abroad as I am always so busy before my trips abroad. He said it definitely would be a good idea to meet though and asked me ‘do you have any plans next weekend?’.  So It’d be another week before our next date.

He does work a lot, he has a business on top of a full time job, he works weekends, goes to the gym everyday, martial arts too. He texts me once a day.

To be honest I feel a little disappointed about not meeting this week but I don’t mind waiting till next week as I try to live a busy life anyway.

I suppose I want other’s opinions- does it sound like this man could be serious, or does it sound like he’s not worth the effort? I do believe he likes me too, just wanted other opinions. The pace we’re going at feels slow , and although I would prefer more, in all honesty I’m not too concerned about needing going at a quicker pace

[BaileyB]

It seems pretty obvious that he has many competing priorities and not a lot of time for dating. You could always keep the door open to see if it improves after he returns from his trip, but my money is placed on the thought that something else will come up and his time for dating will be limited. Either way, I would keep my options open and continue dating other people…

[ShyViolet]

It sounds like he's too busy to date.  I would lose patience with this.

[Alvi]

Ask him whether he is looking for an occasional companionship or a full-blown long term relationship. You can tell him that you would like to see him more and see if he "shapes up." I mean, everybody has to eat one time or another so you can meet for supper. Or even for a quick 15 minutes coffee. Before or after his guy or between his first and second job. When there is a will there is a way.  Imagine that, if he really really really liked you he would have zero problem skipping gym or his martial arts once or twice, lol. What did he say that he was seeking on a dating site?

[Redarrow91]

8 hours ago, ShyViolet said:

It sounds like he's too busy to date.  I would lose patience with this.

Thanks for your opinion. What is the minimum amount you would expect to be seeing someone out of curiosity?

[Redarrow91]

5 hours ago, Alvi said:

Ask him whether he is looking for an occasional companionship or a full-blown long term relationship. You can tell him that you would like to see him more and see if he "shapes up." I mean, everybody has to eat one time or another so you can meet for supper. Or even for a quick 15 minutes coffee. Before or after his guy or between his first and second job. When there is a will there is a way.  Imagine that, if he really really really liked you he would have zero problem skipping gym or his martial arts once or twice, lol. What did he say that he was seeking on a dating site?

I see what you mean. He’s going on his trip today (Sunday) so I kind of get how busy he is this weekend. He’s asked me out and we’re going to meet next Saturday morning when he’s back from his trip. That’s the thing, I feel like he’s really religious about going to the gym, doing martial arts , and I have this feeling he wouldn’t cancel either for anything, not sure though On his dating profile it says that he prefers long term but short term is ok. 

[ShyViolet]

3 hours ago, Redarrow91 said:

Thanks for your opinion. What is the minimum amount you would expect to be seeing someone out of curiosity?

I would say once a week at least.  If a guy doesn't have time for that, they are not available and I wouldn't waste my time with them.

[BaileyB]

I agree, once a week initially and then that should increase as you decide to date exclusively and be in a relationship together. At that point, he should want to see you more…

[Alvi]

10 hours ago, Redarrow91 said:

I feel like he’s really religious about going to the gym, doing martial arts , and I have this feeling he wouldn’t cancel either for anything,

Well, I am not sure if he would make a good long-term partner if his gym is more important that anything else on this planet. He probably need to find a woman to date who is also a gym rat and they can go exercise together. 

10 hours ago, Redarrow91 said:

On his dating profile it says that he prefers long term but short term is ok. 

Now you see why he mentioned a short term thing. To be honest, I would not even reply to him based on what he put in his profile. For me, it would an an automatic next. When I was on dating sites, actively looking for a relationship, I would avoid like plague profiles with "looking for friends first," "whatever happens happens," "looking for a long term but not against a short term either," "not willing to settle,"  and such.  It signifies for me that a guy is not actually looking for anything serious and/or long lasting or has no clue what it takes to be in a relationship. But that's just me. Finding someone for a serious long term relationship is not easy. I would recommend that you keep your options open and find someone who actually has time for you.

[S2B]

He has enough time for other things he is interested in.

Keep dating others! He’s not MAKING time for you! He would if he was serious about making you a top priority.

family members are busy professionals… they MAKE time for top priority people, projects and things that interest them!

he eats everyday! He can’t even ask you for breakfast, lunch or dinner? Come on! If he WANTED to - he would.

so keep dating others!

[S2B]

On 8/24/2025 at 2:40 AM, Redarrow91 said:

I see what you mean. He’s going on his trip today (Sunday) so I kind of get how busy he is this weekend. He’s asked me out and we’re going to meet next Saturday morning when he’s back from his trip. That’s the thing, I feel like he’s really religious about going to the gym, doing martial arts , and I have this feeling he wouldn’t cancel either for anything, not sure though On his dating profile it says that he prefers long term but short term is ok. 

Maybe be “busy” then reschedule and see if he makes time.

id bet money he’s going to say he’s too busy when he gets back anyway.

what specific date did he plan for Saturday with you? Dinner out?

Edited August 25 by S2B

[S2B]

Last December you were married.

did you divorce?

[MsJayne]

On the one hand he could be a guy who's got his life together and will only make room for someone really special after he gets to know them, on the other hand he could be a guy who thinks relationships are of secondary importance in life and any partner of his would always be in the back seat. On your next date ask him whether he sees you as a potential partner, and if he says yes, (because it's a yes or no question), ask him how much time he would assign to a girlfriend. 

[smackie9]

You date those who treat you the way you expect to be treated and fulfills your expectations. First impressions count: This guy is too busy to date you the way you expect to be dated. Go date other people and find someone that has more time to spend with you.

Edited August 26 by smackie9

[flitzanu]

i don't disagree with the others saying this guy may be making you low priority...

however, you've only went on two dates, you're not an exclusive couple, and are still basically strangers.

i don't think it's fair to expect this guy to drastically change his entire life immediately for someone that he barely knows.

but, yes, this may be "how it is" when dating him, that you're never a priority, but i think it's tough to say that's how it is forever since this is brand new.

[S2B]

He’s training you to expect very little from him.

it could actually be that he doesn’t have much money and can’t afford to take you out very often.

how can you verify he’s actually traveling and that busy?

anyone has plenty of time to stay connected - a phone call while driving and a few texts during a day doesn’t take much effort… and no money. How much actual effort has he consistently made?

what does he plan when he actually sees you?

[Lotsgoingon]

If this guy can't cancel on you while making you feel absolutely wonderful, then canceling ain't the problem.

You're making a big rookie mistake here, multiple rookie (actually not just rookie) mistakes. 

You say, To be honest I feel a little disappointed about not meeting this week but I don’t mind waiting till next week as I try to live a busy life anyway.

Yes, you do mind! Why the heck are you pretending by saying “I don’t mind.”  You are getting really interested in this guy and then he cancels and he's hard to reach in general?  It's your duty to MIND! That's called self-respect and standards. 

I don't think I have EVER canceled on a woman unless there was an extreme problem or unless I wasn't all that interested. And if there was an extreme problem, I let them in on the extreme problem, so they didn’t have to tell themselves “I don’t mind.” Most of the time, I just wasn't all that interested. 

So if your guy was really interested, he would call you for half an hour or an hour for some fabulous conversation in place of hanging out. OK, he has to get ready for the trip, but if he is truly interested in you, then he would call you or facetime you and get into a really great conversation that leaves you feeling great. That's the way people show interest. 

Going out occasionally on a date, even kissing, even having sex means NOTHING about a person's real interest in you. And look, you're just playing into his trap. The more you "understand," the more he's going to be busy. 

Dump this guy and find someone who is available.  

 

[Lotsgoingon]

I'm sorry: no such thing as busy. Business owners, superstar athletes, rock stars, single parents---they find the time to hang with you--especially at the start. You (the partner they are interested in) become part of the busy. They can't help it. 

I have NEVER heard a guy say, "I'm so into this woman, so excited, but you know, I'm busy." I'm sorry--never heard that. If they are genuinely, then they will be plotting and brainstorming all day for how to see you. They will text and call, ask to show up at midnight. They will show interest. 

This guy may genuinely be busy--I don't doubt that. But I do doubt that he is genuinely interested in you.