Ex wants to get back with me after loving someone else.

[freddiefree]

Okay I'm going to try and keep this brief. Me and my ex were together for 4 years and last November 2024 she broke up with me due to personal reasons but if you guys would like to know then I will discuss it further. We were no contact until February when it was her birthday and I messaged her it is really hard for me to do that and I felt really stupid when she messaged back and she was all happy and saying that she had moved on and had a new boy and this and that the other and I was like 4 years with me and not even 3 months later you already with somebody else? Anyways fast forward to July of this year she message me on Instagram and after talking for a day or two she made it known that she had broke up with her new boy and wanted to get back with me. She said that being with him showed her what all she had with me and how good I was and how she took everything I gave her for granted and that she regretted leaving and that she was stupid to do so and things along those lines. Of course me being excited and still being in love with her I happily welcomed her back and we started talking taking things slow. Eventually though I started asking questions but has the excitement died down and the logic started kicking in and I started asking questions and to make long matter short she said that she initially got into another relationship has a distraction from leaving me and that the rebound relationship ended up being serious to her and she loved him. They did all the couple things do obviously meeting his parents f***ing him staying the night at his place all those things and that bothers me deeply. I of course worked on myself I've currently lost a hundred pounds I tried putting myself out there meeting new people but I just couldn't I was still so in love and attached to her that I couldn't connect to anybody else physically mentally or emotionally and it hurt me so bad hearing how she could move on within months of leaving me and love somebody else and f*** somebody else and be happy with somebody else. It makes me feel like she didn't truly love me or the love dried up but if the love dried up how can it be back you know? How am I not the rebound guy or the safe option. She said that her new boyfriend was a real piece of s*** and treated her poorly and verbally abused her mentally abused her used her for sex and essentially took advantage of her in a vulnerable state which she saw as love I guess I don't know. But I've been struggling so hard with these feelings of unfairness and betrayal and anger and sadness even though I know that we were both separated and single and she had every single right to find somebody else and move on and do whatever she wanted I get that I see that but it still hurts me and bothers me so deeply that it's affecting us now. I want to be with this woman I feel like I want to be with this woman I feel like she's my soulmate and she says the same. We were very very close and connected with each other our first time together and again if anybody would like to know the full unfiltered story of what happened then I can explain. But I guess I'm making this post just to vent and ask if anybody else was or is in a similar situation and what they did to either have the strength to walk away from them or have the strength to work it out. Please any and all help is truly and deeply appreciated. We are still talking and have gotten further into the relationship we spent the night together a few times though nothing sexual has happened because I can't bring myself to do anything. We cuddle and kiss hug hang out and The vibes are nice and almost feels like old times but there's always this nagging down in the back of my head that she'll leave me again that I'm replaceable that no matter how safe and secure I feel she'll leave that no matter how perfect I am I make one mistake and she's gone and no I did not cheat on her or anything of that nature for her to leave me. I find that I'm able to enjoy myself while she's with me but as soon as things start to get remotely physical I kind of cringe and kill the vibe and I know that's destroying us and she's telling me that she understands that she's willing to be patient and we talk about it but I don't know but I just have a stick on my ass or something LOL is it normal to feel this way is it normal to be in the situation I don't know