What happens when you end up paying

[ThorLyonsSalem]

This is something that happened to me a very long time ago. Now this is not one of those "Who pays for the food / beverages if you have them" questions.  This is something a little more ... Well, you'll see ...

Many years ago, I went out on a lunch date with this guy.  We had finished, plates cleared, then the waiter brings the check.  He puts his credit card on the tray, the waiter takes it away.  A few minutes later, the waiter returns and said his credit card was rejected.  Oh ... He looked embarrassed and said the machine must be broken.  I then took out my wallet, gave the waiter my credit card, and it went through.

Now, in that situation, one has no choice but to turn it over to the other party.  I wasn't going to pull the old "dine and dash" on them, I was far too old to do something like that at the time.  It wasn't like we had a huge and/or expensive meal either.  It is an awkward situation to be in, embarrassing to be sure.  Has anyone else been in a situation like this?  If so, how did you handle it and what would you have done with the person whose card was rejected? 

[MsJayne]

I'd expect them to reimburse me at least half, or invite me out again and make sure their card's not up to it's limit. It would actually put me off them as a potential partner though, because if you don't know your card's at, or close to, it's limit that smacks of financial irresponsibility, and I abhor both reckless spending and stinginess in equal measure. In saying that, I once took my then-partner out for an expensive evening because he always whipped his wallet out whenever we went out and I thought it was my turn. We dined on lobster and mud crab, and we drank expensive wine, and I never gave it a second thought because as far as I was concerned my bank account was healthy. At the end of the evening I went to pay by debit card and it was rejected, (turned out it was about $3 short), and I then embarrassed myself by not knowing the PIN for my new-ish credit card and this meant my partner had to pay. I reimbursed him a couple of days later, but it did kinda make me look like an idiot. 

[Alvi]

This happened to me around  years ago. A guy asked me for a coffee. We met at the door of a coffeehouse, exchanged pleasantries and went to a counter to order. He told me that he is going to pay but started looking in his pockets and said that he forgot his wallet. I paid for him and myself. I think he  tried to test me to see how I would react. The entire date felt weird.

It's only been $3 dollars for his coffee so it wouldn't be a big deal at all if he asked me to pay for him beforehand. But the theatrics of him "forgetting" his wallet and later "finding" it made me uncomfortable. Oh, and one guy that I kind of knew was there and  mistook my date for my father, lol. But that's the whole other story, lol.
 

20 hours ago, ThorLyonsSalem said:

.  He puts his credit card on the tray, the waiter takes it away.  A few minutes later, the waiter returns and said his credit card was rejected. 

And they say that only women go out with a guy for a free meal, lol. I don't think I would go out with him again to be honest. Unless he paid me back or offered to cover everything on a second date.

Curious. Did you ever heard back from his or did he ever paid you back (at least for his portion of a meal)?

[Lotsgoingon]

Basically, you rushed. You don't need to rescue him.

Did he ask you to pay? If there was really a problem with the card service, he could get on the phone and call the card company.

I was once out with an ex and her mother and I used a new card that I hadn't used before. It got declined. I had to get on the phone and talk to the card company. My ex didn't rescue me, nor her mom.

Stop rescuing people. You do NOT have to do anything. You didn't have to present your card--unless you really really liked him. 

[Sanch62]

On 8/20/2025 at 3:40 PM, ThorLyonsSalem said:

Now, in that situation, one has no choice but to turn it over to the other party.

If my card was rejected I'd either pay with cash, a debit card, an online app, or I'd ask my date if they would mind using their card while I Venmo or PayPal them the money.

Did you ever see the guy again?

[ThorLyonsSalem]

22 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

If my card was rejected I'd either pay with cash, a debit card, an online app, or I'd ask my date if they would mind using their card while I Venmo or PayPal them the money.

Did you ever see the guy again?

Yes I did. He was the love of my life.

[smackie9]

It's a modern age, everyone has money apps. So no excuses. In the olden days, I would have paid but would expect to be reimbursed.