Boyfriend refers to his ex much. What should i do?

[191099Fabe]

Hello everyone

I am very confused at the moment about my relationship well here is my situation. My boyfriend and i have been together for 4 months. (37M and 25F)

But lately he's been talking about his ex too often for my opinion it's driving me up against a wall. I told him that i didnt like he was talking about his Ex to often. They broke up because she ghosted him. But at this one day he bought a large dreamcatcher 

I asked him why and his answer was:

"My ex always wanted a dreamcatcher in my house so im going to hang it above the bed" that day was the straw that broke the Camels back. I was tolerant about him talking over his Ex. 

That day was the day i got really mad at him. I wanted to tear the dreamcather apart. 

But when i talk about my ex. He gets angry like really angry. I always had closeted feelings for my ex but i know my ex has them to. Sadly im not allowed talking to him. And he still has photo's in his house with that woman.

At the moment i dont know what to do. 

[stillafool]

It's pretty obvious he isn't over his ex yet.  He gets angry when you bring up your ex because his ego is still fragile from his breakup with his ex.  How long go did he and his ex break up and were they broken up when you two got together?

[191099Fabe]

2 hours ago, stillafool said:

It's pretty obvious he isn't over his ex yet.  He gets angry when you bring up your ex because his ego is still fragile from his breakup with his ex.  How long go did he and his ex break up and were they broken up when you two got together?

Well a pretty long time ago,

His ex left him around november 2023. 

My ex left me 6 months ago. And we used to have contact. My ex still texts me. But i cant reply because of my bf. 

[Gebidozo]

8 hours ago, 191099Fabe said:

Sadly im not allowed talking to him.

What do you mean “not allowed? Is your new boyfriend the sultan of Brunei and you are his concubine?

Words like “allowed” shouldn’t be part of a relationship between adult people.

His ravings over his ex are extremely tactless, hurtful, and basically one big red flag. To top it off, he is a hypocrite who throws tantrums every time when you attempted to simply talk to your ex.

I don’t see how this can be fixed unless he fundamentally changes.

 

[smackie9]

You two need to stop seeing each other. 

[glows]

A bit odd for someone to ghost at the level of intimacy it appears he and his ex shared. She was telling him about a dreamcatcher she always wanted in the bedroom?

Is it possible she didn’t actually ghost him and he’s victimizing himself? I wouldn’t really place much weight on his words given how he’s using his words while being with you. He’s been quite hurtful with you knowing mentioning her makes you uncomfortable. Things that make you go hmmm  

At any rate it doesn’t sound like he understands boundaries very well and he doesn’t have enough respect for you or your feelings to keep mentioning another woman. Seems very insensitive towards you. Maybe it’s time to rethink whether he’s what you’re looking for in a long term partner. 

[MsJayne]

On 8/19/2025 at 3:43 AM, 191099Fabe said:

They broke up because she ghosted him.

My guess is she ghosted him because he's a nasty piece of work. You should do the same. The reason he's dating a woman 12 years his junior is because young women are easier to manipulate and control. Tell him where to shove his dream catcher and then block him everywhere.