I'm starting to hate online dating

[DuncanHazy]

Hey everyone,

I came across a decent young woman's profile on a dating website yesterday—that really caught my eye. Honestly, if I'd seen her in person, I would have walked right up to her and started a conversation. I noticed her profile mentioned she's into a specific sport, and it just so happens I'm working on a short story with a scene that involves it. The rules are just not clicking for me.

I'm thinking of using this as an opening line: sending a message asking for her advice on the rules. It feels like a low-pressure way to start a conversation that's tied to one of my passions and one of hers. The goal isn't just to get the information, but to see if there's a spark.

I'm curious what you all think about this kind of approach. Have any of you ever used a specific, real-life problem or interest to start a conversation? Does it come across as authentic or a bit too clever? I'm sure I'm not the only one who's had a "perfect" excuse to reach out.

Say hello to my little friend

The Problem

But here’s the real situation: I've been trying to fix my profile but nothing works. I can't edit it at all. So I'm basically stuck with one of those generic "John Doe" pictures that people use at the shooting range. My profile details are blank, too—just a general nothingness. I feel like a school boy handing my assignment to the teacher, telling her it's done. She looks at the paper and says it's blank. I look at her with a straight face and say, "No, it's all there, just look carefully."

So, I can either:

A. Just message her now, even though I'll look like a complete scammer. I'm actually starting to think of this as a blessing in disguise—a test, so to speak. It's a way to get a quick answer and see if she's willing to talk to someone with a blank profile. If she's not interested, I'll know right away and can move on.

B. Contact support, but what I've read is they receive a lot of emails and I'll just have to be patient. I'd be doing things the "right" way, but I'd just be stuck in this limbo, waiting for who knows how long.

The devil is in the detail.

What do you guys think I should do?

[lemonicetea]

Why can’t you edit your profile? Like are you locked out of it or something? 

[Sanch62]

Yeah, leaving your profile like that will come off as scammy. I would get the tech support. If it's a paid subscription, I'd contact customer service to learn whether you can open a new account that works or get a refund if it can't be immediately repaired.

If it's a free site, try using another browser and email address to open a new account, but be prepared to create the profile at that time.

I wouldn't start off with a request for advice, as I wouldn't assume that someone would be flattered by a stranger who wants to use their time and expertise for a purpose they never volunteered. I'd raise the sport as a common interest and invite her to speak about it and hopefully discover more things in common.

Edited Tuesday at 01:09 AM by Sanch62

[ThorLyonsSalem]

Yes, contact tech support if you are unable to edit the profile as you would like it to. 

However, you must keep in mind that a lot of profiles now on dating websites / apps are scams now. At least, as a woman, I have noticed this (I don't know about what the guys are / are not seeing). They all look like models, are all from other countries who just moved her a few weeks / months ago, and they try to get you to invest in Bitcoin or the like. I just say "NO THANK YOU" and walk away.