Loner from now on

[ThorLyonsSalem]

I am a private person in general.  I don't like people being in my business, and I stay out of other people's business.  I don't share much with others (learned that the hard way to not share too much about myself with others - and if you don't know what that's like, you have another thing coming). I am 50 years old, and I am a loner.  In some cases not because I want to be but because I have to be.

I reached out to many friends about possibly going to a rock concert in a few weeks.  I don't want the best seats, I said a nosebleed section would be fine with me.  NO ONE wanted to go with me.  I am shocked at this.  Granted, many of them and I are not as close as we used to be, that's for sure, but I would think that if one person reaches out that SOMEONE would want to go with me to things.

I have made a decision and I will stand by this from now on : Unless I get an invite to do something, I will be a loner from now on.  The only person who can be in charge of my happiness (as I have long known) is me, the only one who is responsible for me is me, and I will no longer reach out to others if they are just going to say no to any and everything that I propose.  It's ok, I will just be me and be happy with being me. I may not like it, but it's the best thing for me as I will not miss out on things if I don't have anyone to go with as my wingman / woman.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

10 hours ago, ThorLyonsSalem said:

NO ONE wanted to go with me.  I am shocked at this.  Granted, many of them and I are not as close as we used to be

When was the last tme you had spoken to them? I am wondering whar the backstory is there. 

[ThorLyonsSalem]

9 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

When was the last tme you had spoken to them? I am wondering whar the backstory is there. 

I don't really talk to people much anymore.  Life has morphed into just checking what everyone is doing on Facebook now.  But as result, that is how most people can and do communicate now.  At least, as I can see it now.  There have been times that I reached out to others via phone call or whatever other means, they either say a flat no, they never get back to me, or they say "I will get back to you on that" and never do.  What can I say? It's been the same thing over and over. Now I will just be a loner all the time.  Today I wanted to go to the museum, no one wanted to do that either. So I will go alone.

Edited Sunday at 02:08 PM by ThorLyonsSalem
Additional information

[ExpatInItaly]

3 hours ago, ThorLyonsSalem said:

Today I wanted to go to the museum, no one wanted to do that either.

Did you ask them before today? Or did you call them today and ask them to meet you today? 

[ThorLyonsSalem]

39 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Did you ask them before today? Or did you call them today and ask them to meet you today? 

Yup.  Asked a few people and they said no.  So from now on, it's just me, myself and I. 

[Acacia98]

On 8/16/2025 at 9:36 PM, ThorLyonsSalem said:

I reached out to many friends about possibly going to a rock concert in a few weeks.  I don't want the best seats, I said a nosebleed section would be fine with me.  NO ONE wanted to go with me.  I am shocked at this.  Granted, many of them and I are not as close as we used to be, that's for sure, but I would think that if one person reaches out that SOMEONE would want to go with me to things.

Not necessarily. Sometimes that's just the way it works out: maybe they have other plans, maybe they're just not in the mood for it. 

I am used to being the only one who's interested in doing certain things. And when that happens, I just do them alone. It's not really a big deal. And I generally don't hold it against the people who aren't interested.

If I were in your shoes, I'd observe my friends over time. Then I'd stop making much effort with the ones who routinely couldn't be bothered to respond to me or who'd flake out on me. I would try holding on to the friends who actually got back to me with an answer, whether that answer was positive or negative.

[ExpatInItaly]

9 hours ago, ThorLyonsSalem said:

Yup.  Asked a few people and they said no.  

And it didn't occur to you that may have already made other plans for the day? 

You can't really fault people for not beng available the same day you ask to meet. Sometimes I may not be busy but really need a day to myself to get other things done or simply recharge my own batteries and stay home. If someone asks me at the last minute to hang out, the answer is more than likely going to be no since I would have already mapped out my free time that day. 

Edited Monday at 03:56 AM by ExpatInItaly