So I met this guy

[Acacia98]

On 8/15/2025 at 3:52 AM, Sugarspice25 said:

Yeah when he didn't want to walk me down to the lobby of his apt building like usual I felt a little shitty.  Is it just me?? He claimed oh Im not dressed.  Like you can't put on something quick?

It's not just you.

I actually ended the last relationship I was in because it felt unequal. And one of the little things that contributed to my feeling that way was the fact that he did this exact thing. 

[Sugarspice25]

2 hours ago, stillafool said:

It's weird and ungentlemanly because he puts it on you to come out of your home to travel to see him and then to go back out and travel back to your house.  Plus, he doesn't seem the least bit interested in trying to at least make sex pleasurable for you.  Sounds like he's using you as a sex object when he needs it.

This!!!

[BaileyB]

3 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said:

Im just confused because he doesn’t have a problem with it. Really.

Are you seriously defending the man and the fact that he doesn’t have a problem paying for an uber to get you home after you travel to his home to have sex with him? 

Of course he doesn’t have a problem with it - he has found a way to have sex that requires very little effort on his part with minimal cost. What’s not to like about that arrangement - 

Edited August 16 by BaileyB

[basil67]

On 8/16/2025 at 7:18 AM, Sugarspice25 said:

Yes he pays for the ubers

He could also pay for a sex worker, but you are prepared to make house calls

[BaileyB]

36 minutes ago, basil67 said:

He could also pay for a sex worker, but you are prepared to make house calls

An uber is cheaper than a sex worker…

But, he doesn’t even want to pay for that.

[ExpatInItaly]

Has he ever offered to come to you? 

Or he's always expected that you will go to his place? 

[Sugarspice25]

12 hours ago, BaileyB said:

Are you seriously defending the man and the fact that he doesn’t have a problem paying for an uber to get you home after you travel to his home to have sex with him? 

Of course he doesn’t have a problem with it - he has found a way to have sex that requires very little effort on his part with minimal cost. What’s not to like about that arrangement - 

I'm not defending anyone, I was explaining to @longdue about the Ubers since he thinks its odd or transactional. 

 

[Sugarspice25]

8 hours ago, basil67 said:

He could also pay for a sex worker, but you are prepared to make house calls

??? I don't understand your comment.  Were else are we going to hook up?

[Sugarspice25]

7 hours ago, BaileyB said:

An uber is cheaper than a sex worker…

But, he doesn’t even want to pay for that.

? I don't understand what you are implying 

[Sugarspice25]

1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Has he ever offered to come to you? 

Or he's always expected that you will go to his place? 

No he likes it when I come to his place but I have no problem because I only let Men in to my home that I actually date.

[Acacia98]

On 8/16/2025 at 3:54 AM, Gebidozo said:

Regularly paying for your rides so that you could come to his place for sex is not being a gentleman. It’s being someone who views this as a purely transactional interaction.

I think it can be gentlemanly. Or at least it could have been gentlemanly if he were also treating her better during their time together. She's always meeting him at the place that's most convenient for him. He never goes to her place or to a place nearer to her home. Paying for the Uber could be a way to balance that out. I do the same when I meet up with a friend for lunch at a place that's close to my home but out of the way for her: I either pay for her lunch or for her transportation expenses. So IMO, his paying for the Ubers is not in and of itself an issue.

[ExpatInItaly]

4 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said:

No he likes it when I come to his place but I have no problem because I only let Men in to my home that I actually date.

Right, but it says a lot that hes's never even offered. 

Anyway, it's clear this is just sex for him. And given that it's crap sex for you, I would have no problem closing the door on this.

[basil67]

5 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said:

??? I don't understand your comment.  Were else are we going to hook up?

My point is that you're complaining about how the whole exercise is making you feel empty.  And I'm pointing out that this is because his attachment to you is no deeper than it would be if you were a sex worker.  Except he in your case, you're open for home delivery.   

If you want to feel special and valued, try saving sex for someone who thinks you're special and does value you.

Edited August 17 by basil67

[Sony12]

I hope this guy isn't secretly filming you.

[Sugarspice25]

6 hours ago, Acacia98 said:

I think it can be gentlemanly. Or at least it could have been gentlemanly if he were also treating her better during their time together. She's always meeting him at the place that's most convenient for him. He never goes to her place or to a place nearer to her home. Paying for the Uber could be a way to balance that out. I do the same when I meet up with a friend for lunch at a place that's close to my home but out of the way for her: I either pay for her lunch or for her transportation expenses. So IMO, his paying for the Ubers is not in and of itself an issue.

Thank you  

[Sanch62]

On 8/15/2025 at 12:37 PM, BaileyB said:

...I think you should raise your standards if this is a legit post. ... what seems pretty obvious to everyone here seems not to be obvious to you. But, that’s just me. 

Nope, It's me, too.