Go or No? Reach out or dont?

[ishie]

I’m 32, my partner is gay, I am a woman. I don’t know but 1st 6 months of our relationship was okay and fun. If you’re asking me why, i don’t know also but all I know is you’re free to love whoever you want.

Moving forward, I have seen him in his worst attitude. Temper is raging. I have been physically hurt, emotionally and verbally but still chose to see past all of that. Love is really BLIND. 
 

We’re staying at his own building but with his mom and his partner. I am close to his family has good bonding with them and have no problem with them and them none at me. 
 

Here’s the recent scenario: While I chose to forget everything that he’s done to me in the past. His rage, abuse and all of that and started over. This very petty thing happened. 
 

I was out of our building and chose to stay with my sister for 3 days. Then I went home on a sunday thinking that we can spend some alone time together. But he messaged, saying that his sister wanted to go to their brother’s house. And I said okay. Fast forward to evening, he went home from a commute. Being sweet while me still working. So I was kind of annoyed at him because he left but I thought of how selfish I am so I quickly snapped out of my feelings and just let it be.

I went up and get ready for bed, while him watched television on a diff floor. After I got ready, he went up and went to the bathroom so I immediately thought he was gonna go for a shower. After 5 minutes, he went back half wet but his hair dry. Mind you, they traveled for almost 3 hours on train. 
I told him, “you didnt even showered! You never listen to me everytime. You should shower, you traveled thru a public transport. Blah blah blah.” Call me nagging cause who wouldn’t? I don’t think what he’s done is hygienic.

What he did? He called me out. Called me names. Compared me to my family. Mentioned every one of my family members and told me that. 
“You’re making me feel like your dad. Your mom makes a fool out of your dad. Always a nagger. Your sister is a nagger too. You’re a family of naggers. You want me to be like you. You’re a slut. You’re worthless.” Called me names, cussed me out and all of that.

So I left him. And went to our family home. Recorded a video of him telling me those things. Why? He has a pattern of twisting stories for his own good.

Fast forward to 2 days, his mom asked me and hugged me but I told their family I’m moving out and getting my stuff because I can’t take the disrespect. What his mom did? She and her partner cornered me into the room. Talked me out of it and said I was also the problem. That it takes two to Tango and all that stuff.

They told me to just move on and forget about it and just cry and let it out and move on. I told them that their son has to be accountable first. I wasnt expecting anything but just to say sorry. 

He said that his son changed over the course of time that now he is not going to hurt me because She already spoke to his son about it. So I shall let this pass and start anew. 
I explained that I need my space and I cannot do that.

She told me that his son was hurt with what happened in another country.

(Quick story time) When his son threw a fit on me and left me on a store knowing that we’ll meet his sister so he’s really showing that he should be pitied and his sister is coming to meet us.

called my mom immediately and told him that my partner threw a fit on me again. 
my mom called him and he said he’s not the one to blame. My mom said “Again? You’re not the one ever to blame. It’s always my daughter who’s wrong. You were never wrong.” Then my partner hang up.

Going back, my partner created a story that my mom called him gay and shouted and cussed at him on the phone while that never happpened. His mom and partner told me that I should never tell my mom our problems and we should both solve it. 
She told me that, they don’t do that to his son because she doesnt want to be a part of the problem. she talked me through it to just talk to his son and go back to the house. I said i needed space.

after 3 days I went to his home and tried to talk to my partner as a grant for his mom’s request because I dont’t want her to be stressed out since she just recently healed from stroke. I ate my ego and tried to talk but his son. 
shouted and shouted at me telling me to call my mom and dad and speak with him infront of his family. It was scandalous and I told his mom I will never do that again.

i already did what she asked me to do. But still his son is really raging on anger.

Fast forward to last week, his mom and his partner is going to Canada and the day that his sister went with them to the airport and drove for them. His sister came to my business and asked me how I am (after 2 weeks of not speaking to me) and I said I am okay explained things a bit and told her we just need space. Then I asked for his brother because I don’t see him coming in out building (the business and the building is in one place) 

SHE SAID TO ME, HA? I DONT EVEN KNOW!

Then later when I asked their mom how theyve been in Canada after 10 days! She told me that my partner is there also. 
 

All this time, they were fooling me of not knowing where my partner is. But it’s just that they’re hiding him from me. WOW. Why right? Hahaha.

Now, I got my own condo. I moved out. I got some of my things. He hasn’t contacted me since July 14 when I went and tried to talk to him.

no contact since then. He has been posting stuff like I am narcisstic and all that. But im just keeping my peace.

they’ll be back August 16 and honestly i dont know what i’ll say i wont be going there for a week for they might think i am waiting for them.

i am just hurt and i dont understand why they’re keeping him and enabling him. 
 

i need advices whether to get all my things there, move forward and just ignore (they might call me disrespectful because i got my things there without them)

Or wait for my partner to get back and ask him to talk again. 
 

ugh need help. Thanks so much ladies

 

[ExpatInItaly]

I don't understand your post. 

You're a woman, but your partner is a gay male? 

1 hour ago, ishie said:

We’re staying at his own building but with his mom and his partner.

Whose partner? 

 

[ishie]

Yes. Gay Male. 
Mom and his mom’s boyfriend. 
 

sorry must be language barrier i tried hard to speak proper english 

[ishie]

Yes. Gay Male. 
Mom and his mom’s boyfriend. 
 

sorry must be language barrier i tried hard to speak proper english 

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, ishie said:

Yes. Gay Male. 
Mom and his mom’s boyfriend. 
 

sorry must be language barrier i tried hard to speak proper english 

If your partner is a gay man and you are a woman, then how can he be your partner?..

It’s a bit hard to understand what exactly happened there, but that man clearly abused you and you got out of that relationship, right?

Then… why are you still trying to contact him? Why do you care where he is, as long as he is far away from you and you’re safe?

Break off all contact with that person and his family. Stop thinking about them and focus on your life.

 

[ishie]

53 minutes ago, Gebidozo said:

If your partner is a gay man and you are a woman, then how can he be your partner?..

It’s a bit hard to understand what exactly happened there, but that man clearly abused you and you got out of that relationship, right?

Then… why are you still trying to contact him? Why do you care where he is, as long as he is far away from you and you’re safe?

Break off all contact with that person and his family. Stop thinking about them and focus on your life.

 

Gender is not a question on whether he can be a good partner or not. Being in a relationship is mainly our own personality. 
But I do get your point. Thanks! 

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, ishie said:

Gender is not a question on whether he can be a good partner or not.

That’s not what I asked you. I asked how can he be your partner if you’re a woman and he is gay?

Do you mean he is bisexual?

Anyway, regardless of that, he was a horrible partner and you should move on.

[ExpatInItaly]

11 hours ago, ishie said:

Being in a relationship is mainly our own personality. 

I don't understand what this means. 

In any case, he treats you terribly. You need to put this person behind you, forever. 

[Acacia98]

Collect your belongings when they're still away. This is for your own safety.

Then move forward with your life.

Edited Monday at 11:51 PM by Acacia98