SidneyBlake Posted August 10 Posted August 10 Hi, I’m 30 and a male. Never dated much, had a few long term partners as an adult and outside of those relationships I’ve always been relatively happy being single. I went out on a first date with a girl who was about the same age as me earlier this week. The date seemed to go pretty well, there was lots of chat and I don’t recall any awkward silences. The plan was to go from the place we met and go watch a game in a different spot in the city. We had a drink and talked in the first place (like I said, we talked and there was no awkward vibes or silences). We left together to go to the next spot to watch a game but when we got there they weren’t showing it so we left and pondered what to do, I suggested another place fairly close that would most likely be showing the game but she didn’t want to go to this place and said she was just going to go home. It was a bit confusing as things had seemed to be going well I think we’d probably been talking for maybe an hour or so but I was just sort of like ok no problem. She said it was really nice to have met me, gave me a hug and we said our good byes. To me, this seemed like a really odd way to end the date after the vibes had been pretty nice since we’d been together. Like I said, I’ve never really dated much but due to what I perceived as an odd ending I decided I’d probably not text her unless she reached out first but I’ve had a few friends suggest that I message her. I don’t see the point in trying to flog a dead horse but don’t know if I’m just over analysing the abrupt ending. Do you think I’m probably right in my intuition in not texting her again? I kind of thought if she texts me fine and is carry on the talk as we seemed to have a nice time when we were together. Thank you!
ShyViolet Posted August 10 Posted August 10 It's hard to say..... it could mean she wasn't interested in you and wanted to cut the date short, or it could mean nothing. You would have nothing to lose by texting her to suggest a second date and seeing how she responds. Then you'll have your definitive answer.
Gebidozo Posted August 11 Posted August 11 There could be a million reasons why she preferred to go home early. Maybe she was feeling ill, or suddenly remembered she had to wake up early, or the place you suggested brought back some memories, etc. Not being interested in you is just one of many possible reasons. Ask her out on another date. Initiate something more romantic next time and see where this goes.
Sony12 Posted August 11 Posted August 11 Most of the time when people act this way it's an indication that they aren't very interested. Most people who are interested will usually go along with stuff unless it is completely unreasonable.
BreakOnThrough Posted August 11 Posted August 11 A woman will give you an indication she is interested in more. If you have zero indication of that, just let it be.
Carlston Posted August 12 Posted August 12 On 8/10/2025 at 9:28 PM, SidneyBlake said: Hi, The date seemed to go pretty well, there was lots of chat and I don’t recall any awkward silences. .. (like I said, we talked and there was no awkward vibes or silences). Since you focused on the conversation, I'll focus on it as well. It's a bit odd that you make a statement about there being no awkward silences, and then a couple of sentences later you repeat the exact same sentence. Do you converse in this same fashion, often repeating the same things over and over again? I know people who do that and it can be off-putting.
Sanch62 Posted August 12 Posted August 12 You have zero to lose by asking for another date. I've had lots of times where I'm out and the energy is great. Then we move to another place, and during that change, my energy tanks. This was not a reflection on anyone I was with, I just needed to get home, and without encouraging any further discussion about when we can go out again. This didn't mean we'd never go out again. If you reach out, you'll learn if that's the case or she's just not a good match.
Gina2005 Posted August 12 Posted August 12 On 8/10/2025 at 11:28 AM, SidneyBlake said: Hi, I’m 30 and a male. Never dated much, had a few long term partners as an adult and outside of those relationships I’ve always been relatively happy being single. I went out on a first date with a girl who was about the same age as me earlier this week. The date seemed to go pretty well, there was lots of chat and I don’t recall any awkward silences. The plan was to go from the place we met and go watch a game in a different spot in the city. We had a drink and talked in the first place (like I said, we talked and there was no awkward vibes or silences). We left together to go to the next spot to watch a game but when we got there they weren’t showing it so we left and pondered what to do, I suggested another place fairly close that would most likely be showing the game but she didn’t want to go to this place and said she was just going to go home. It was a bit confusing as things had seemed to be going well I think we’d probably been talking for maybe an hour or so but I was just sort of like ok no problem. She said it was really nice to have met me, gave me a hug and we said our good byes. To me, this seemed like a really odd way to end the date after the vibes had been pretty nice since we’d been together. Like I said, I’ve never really dated much but due to what I perceived as an odd ending I decided I’d probably not text her unless she reached out first but I’ve had a few friends suggest that I message her. I don’t see the point in trying to flog a dead horse but don’t know if I’m just over analysing the abrupt ending. Do you think I’m probably right in my intuition in not texting her again? I kind of thought if she texts me fine and is carry on the talk as we seemed to have a nice time when we were together. Thank you! Although I don't see any indication that she might be interested, I think you have nothing to lose by sending her a message and asking if she wants to go out with you again. This way you won't be left with any doubts. Consider that she might be thinking the same thing about you not being interested and not looking for you.
ThorLyonsSalem Posted August 25 Posted August 25 I can always tell what the outcome will be by the person's behavior at the end of the get together. I have had people walk me halfway to the car, then stop and shake hands and say "Good night". *Next* I have had people literally walk away from me without a good-bye *Easy Pass*. And I have had people walk me to my car with a courteous good-bye. The last one is the best one for obvious reasons. Her behavior was a bit odd, to be sure, but 75% of me says she was not interested when she said she wanted to go home now. If you like her, reach out the next day with a phone call or text. If she doesn't answer, that's that.
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