Girlfriend Starts College and I Get Deployed, What Could Possibly go Wrong

[Anonymous]

Girlfriend Starts College and I Get Deployed, What Could Possibly go Wrong

This happened a few years ago and I am still trying to get past it wondering if I made the right decisions.

It was in January 2016. I was 8 months into a 4 year Navy enlistment. While home on leave I went to a local party/dance event. I was 19 and met this 17 year old tall beautiful blonde girl. We both had an obvious attraction for each other and a wonderful relationship began. We had a long distant relationship that lasted for about 2 years. Lots of letter writing and phone calls and seeing each other just every few months. She graduated from High School May of 2017 and I attended her graduation. We had a wonderful 2 weeks together and early June I returned to my Naval base. All of June, July and August we were still very happy and all seemed well. Her classes started early September and at the same time I found out I was getting a year long deployment aboard a ship. A few weeks later I received a letter from her explaining to me that it is almost impossible to love someone when you are not with them, that phone calls and letters are not enough. That it was just not working out and cant see a future with us.Then just closed the letter with ,Goodbye. My worries of her being free and on her own for the first time in her life and in college came true. I was amazed at how quick those few years together just washed away. Not a lot I could do about it. In November she wrote me a letter and apologized for that letter and was looking forward to seeing each other Christmas and New Years. When we did get together in January of 2018 it was obvious that things had changed again. The affection and joy was gone. I left first week of January for a year. I received a letter from her in mid February. This letter made it clear that this is not going to work, we were no longer a couple, it was over. Before any of this happened we were both counting days to my discharge and how great that would be. So in my mind I would do my remaining 10.5 months, get home to her and all would be well.

January 3rd of 2019 finally arrived. I was discharged and on my way to freedom and her. I had enrolled in College and started classes a few weeks later in mid January. I had not heard from her in almost a year. Mid February and still no her. I felt like I could not go walking back into her life because I had no idea what or who was in her life. I finally realized the reason she didn't try and find me is because she didn't want to. That she must be in a relationship with someone. March and April past and no word from her. It was over, I thought. In mid May I got a phone call from her. We lived in the same town that we met in. She said she saw me driving thru town and wanted to get together. I accepted her offer. We had a lot to talk about. I ask what would have happened if you didn't see me, she said it was fate. I ask why she never contacted me and she said she forgot when I was getting discharged but it was a date we dreamed about for years. I said the reason you didn't try and find me was because you didnt want to, that you were still in a recent relationship that suddenly came to and end not long ago. She would not deny what I said and told me I was the only one she ever truly loved. I replied, where was the love during those 15 months I was gone. How could I trust you wouldn't leave again.  I said Goodbye and walked away.

I moved 800 miles away from her and we have never spoken. I still wonder if I did the right thing. I remember those few years we had together and how great they were. Loving her was easy and I never thought it would end but it did, I think. 

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, Anonymous said:

I moved 800 miles away from her and we have never spoken. I still wonder if I did the right thing.

Of course you did. The easiest way to heal from a breakup is to cut off all contact with the ex.

 

1 hour ago, Anonymous said:

I remember those few years we had together and how great they were.

And nothing will ever take those great memories away from you.

I also have great memories from my past relationships, some of them lasted multiple years.

But you shouldn’t look at them as something anchoring you to the past. Look forward, towards your future relationships.

[ExpatInItaly]

22 hours ago, Anonymous said:

This happened a few years ago and I am still trying to get past it wondering if I made the right decisions.

I don't see what other choice you could have made, really. 

It was clear she was too young and not interested enough to sustain a relationship with you. This wasn't going to last even though you enjoyed some good times together. I am curious why this is still weighing on you so many years later, though. 

How has your love life been lately? What's got you revisiting all of this years on from the break-up?