Is the romance dying already?

[BaileyB]

30 minutes ago, TheBlingRing14 said:

I just said/meant that when certain things happen and become a part of how you view people, relationships, life in general......it's a part of you forever. It is in your psyche forever. You can't get rid of it. You can only learn to live with it. 

Of course, our experiences stay with us forever. But, it’s not what happens to you but how you respond to the experience that matters. One can be betrayed by a man and still stay open and find a loving and trusting relationship that is deeply fulfilling… Or, one can become anxious, insecure, and controlling - affecting all future relationships. 

Of course you can work on strategies to manage the anxiety that you feel in relationships. You can also work with a counsellor to better understand your decisions and how to find/build a healthy and happy relationship for yourself. If you find that this is a pattern that continues to repeat itself, you may find it helpful at some point to have a discussion with a counsellor… but of course, that is your decision. It’s your life. 

Edited 23 hours ago by BaileyB

[ShyViolet]

When is the next time you're going to see him in person?  Make plans to see him in person.  See how it goes when you are actually together, and then gauge the "energy".  See if he seems fully interested in you or if something still seems "off" when you're with him in person.  Focusing on his texting patterns is a poor way to really judge that.  You're just putting way too much emphasis on texting.

Edited 23 hours ago by ShyViolet

[Gaeta]

It doesn't sound like you see each other often? How many times have you seen each other in the past 2 weeks? 

The interest of a man is measured by the efforts he makes to see you and the quality-time devoted to dates. 

 

[TheBlingRing14]

7 minutes ago, ShyViolet said:

When is the next time you're going to see him in person?  Make plans to see him in person.  See how it goes when you are actually together, and then gauge the "energy".  See if he seems fully interested in you or if something still seems "off" when you're with him in person.  Focusing on his texting patterns is a poor way to really judge that.  You're just putting way too much emphasis on texting.

6 weeks.....which really stinks. 

He is out of state for work, thousands of miles away. He has a secondary work trip in a couple of weeks, when he will be out of the country, but he will leave straight from his current location. 

We have made tentative plans for when he gets back (that were made previously). But, he said we could wait till it gets closer to nail down the specifics. Which at the time he said it made perfect sense. But....now, I wonder if he was just sort of putting me off.  

[ShyViolet]

Ok well if he's going to be away for the next 6 weeks.... you need to reel in your expectations and kinda put this on the back burner, to revisit when he comes back.  You can't be obsessing over how he texts you or doesn't text you on a daily basis for the next 6 weeks.  You only met this guy 2 weeks ago and you're not in a relationship.  The obligation to constantly text during this time period will get old really fast and he's probably already getting tired of it.  That doesn't mean that he doesn't want to follow through on the plans to see you when he gets back.  He probably doesn't want the obligation of having to constantly text for these 6 weeks while he's away, and I don't blame him.  

[BaileyB]

I agree with everything said above. The fact that he’s going to be away for six weeks should put a serious “pause” on your expectations. 

You are not going to build a relationship with this man by text while he is away. I would set some boundaries for myself - depending on his behavior, I would expect to text on the weekend to see how his week has been. If you do text daily, I would expect one exchange a day not constant texting throughout the day. 

The number of texts that he sends and his enthusiasm for texting is bound to decrease for the next six weeks. That doesn’t mean that he is not interested in getting together and possibly pursuing a relationship with you when he returns - he’s likely not interested in investing a ton of time texting with a woman he barely knows when he’s travelling for work for an extended period of time. I wouldn’t do that either.

I think you need to find something to do this fall - join a gym, sign up for a yoga class, read a good book, spend time with friends, go on some more dates… keep yourself busy so that you are not in your head about this guy who is not here and you don’t even know that he is interested…

Edited 20 hours ago by BaileyB

[ExpatInItaly]

You're getting too attached too quickly.

[BreakOnThrough]

"Don't move too fast... AND you want your love to last?"  Jim Morrison