Multiple marriages

[ThorLyonsSalem]

I was wondering about this (not sure if this should go in this section or any other more appropriate), and what others have to think about this topic ... Has anyone ever met someone or know of someone who has been married multiple times?  Now granted, there are very few out there on the level of Elizabeth Taylor who was married 8 times (7 technically, because she married and divorced Richard Burton twice so he was number 5 and 6), but they could exist.

I have met four people who were married four times, and I think that's a lot.  One guy was married four times, his three marriages ended in divorce but his fourth because his fourth wife died of cancer.  Another guy and another woman I know were married four times, all ended in divorce.  Another woman I know married her fourth husband at some point and is most likely divorced from him now (all her marriages ended in divorce because she cheated on them and was caught). 

Does anyone else know of someone who has also done this?  Despite their reasons for getting married and / or divorcing someone, I would imagine in this day and age once someone has been through a divorce they would just say "I am never going to be with anyone ever again so I don't have to go through that nightmare". 

[MsJayne]

One of my sisters is on her third marriage, and this one has lasted, mainly because he's too thick to realise she married him for money. She moans about him behind his back constantly and I'm pretty sure he's long-forgotten what sex is, but as long as he keeps her in comfort and style she's willing to put up with the poor shmuck. I know another woman who's on her fourth marriage, like my sister she's a career gold digger. I know of a man, (friend of my ex-partner), who's been married and divorced three times, he's wealthy and around 64 years old, and he's currently dating a 39 year old woman who has no assets other than the ones on her chest so I figure she's in  love.....with his bank account, and he's talking about marrying her, the silly old goat. For a while I worked for an old guy who had been married five times, he was super wealthy and all of his ex-wives were still on the gravy train, sucking up to him even though he was a smarmy old sexist git. While some people just fall out of love, I think many people who marry multiple times do so for shallow, self-serving reasons and hence it falls apart. When I observe couples who've been happily together for decades I always see the same common thread, there's genuine love, loyalty, and respect there, for each other and also for their family. My now ex-partner was one of the people who are all "I'm never getting married again, boo hoo, poor me", because he got reamed by a gold digger. I'm not sure what's worse, the serial marrier or the bitter divorcee, they're both people to be avoided. 

[Gebidozo]

8 hours ago, ThorLyonsSalem said:

Has anyone ever met someone or know of someone who has been married multiple times? 

Yes, myself. 3 times.

I know a guy who was married 5 times, and several people who were married 3 times. My Mom was married 3 times. As for 2 times, too many to count.

[Els]

2 is fairly common, but I don't personally know anyone with more than that. Honestly in my social circles, the most common number is 1 (and ongoing), but that's not necessarily better than the alternative. 

I don't think the numbers matter as much as the reasons and how they have been affected by it. There used to be a guy here with only one previous marriage, but it turned him into the most bitter misogynist you'd ever see! He'd be a way worse partner than a person who had several failed marriages but learned and improved themselves.

Edited August 3 by Els

[Gebidozo]

47 minutes ago, Els said:

I don't think the numbers matter as much as the reasons and how they have been affected by it.

Exactly. Sometimes, having multiple divorces in your past makes the inevitable question “What is wrong with me?” pop up with extra urgency.  Just as severe symptoms may help a sick person seek treatment faster than when the disease is just lingering without manifesting itself in anything outwardly hideous.

In my case, I’ve realized that I used to rush into marrying every long-term girlfriend of mine due to deep fear of abandonment. Achieving the state of being married, which granted me comfort, superficial confidence, false security, and illusionary guarantees for life, was my actual goal. The identity of the partner,  the quality of the relationship, and the actual depth of feeling were secondary aspects. Of course they mattered, but what mattered more was marriage itself, as an idealized lifestyle.

It took me many years to understand the above. The latest and most important revelation came when my current partner delayed marriage indefinitely in spite of my attempts to convince her that my proposal was a sign of great love and commitment. “I think you just like getting married”, she said plainly.