Online dating burnout

[Anonymous]

I'm a man in late 30s with a stable job tall, fit body shape, and I usually get about one to three online matches and dates. However, most of those first dates don't turn into second dates. Is this common? What can I do to fix it? Anyone going through the similar problems?

[Sanch62]

2 hours ago, Anonymous said:

...most of those first dates don't turn into second dates. Is this common?

Can you clarify what 'don't turn into' means? Are you saying most won't accept a second date, or that you don't find them attractive enough to ask for another date?

Also, are you meeting for a short drink or coffee to check one another out, or are you blowing big bucks on first dates with strangers without having had a quick meet, first, to learn whether you both find one another datable? 

Edited Thursday at 03:43 AM by Sanch62

[ShySoul]

The problem with online sites is that they are not geared towards creating lasting matches. It is possible and anything can happen. But the reality is these sites are businesses and a business is out to make profit. If you find a match and start a relationship, then you don't need to give them your business any more. So they are designed to dangle the carrot in front of you while still encouraging you to keep looking. There is always another potential match that could be better for you. 

Likewise, most people aren't as serious about things. They might be confused as to what they want. They might think that with all these options and new profiles to look at, why go with this current one when something even better could pop up. They might just be doing it for fun and to mess around. They might develop a mindset of dismissing people for small or silly reasons. They could just be flaky people. It may have nothing to do with you and be all about them.

It is hard enough to find someone we really connect with and have enough in common with to develop a real relationship. Dating sites have made it even worse. It's a tool to use for sure and if you want to do it, you should. But like any tool, it's not foolproof. There are problems and it takes time to find that right connection. Most people we meet, through this method or any other, won't be right for us. It takes time, patience, and even some luck to meet the right one.

All you can do is be youself and treat people with kindness and respect. Don't stress yourself about finding someone. It happens at it's own pace. Do what you are comfortable with and meet people in the manner you want to. Let things develop naturally. If it does, embrace it. If it doesn't, just means it will take a little longer. And most of all, just have fun. If it's not fun, why do it?

[asdf100]

7 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

Can you clarify what 'don't turn into' means? Are you saying most won't accept a second date, or that you don't find them attractive enough to ask for another date?

Also, are you meeting for a short drink or coffee to check one another out, or are you blowing big bucks on first dates with strangers without having had a quick meet, first, to learn whether you both find one another datable? 

I should have clarified that I get about one to three online matches and dates per week, and most won't accept a second date. For the first date, I usually go for short drink, coffee, bowling, or decent lunch/dinner (but nothing too crazy or expensive).

[Sony12]

Yes that's the completely normal for online dating. Even the most attractive and charismatic individuals will only have a portion of their first dates turn into second ones.

[Carlston]

What the heck do you mean by you "usually get 1 to 3 matches?

During what time frame?

If your profile is worded in the same ambiguous way that could be part of the problem.