How often would you have “formal” dates?

[Amtguy]

She and I had a great first “date” (it took her a few days for her to tell me that she considered it a date), we both had a good time grabbing lunch and shopping. We both bought sunglasses. It also gave use time together, see each other in a different way. We were comfortable enuff to compare how different our hands felt to one another. 
I think she prefers to date slowly. Told me after calling our outing a dat, I shouldn’t expect going out too often even though she would like to every week. Even so she seem more ok with me being around her at university, going off campus a few times a week with me, etc (only time she changed her mind is when her sisters flight got pushed up, she was dropping her off).  She now will let me pay for things with out  fussing. Two weeks later and I think everything is moving forward for us. She even helped me decide on a birthday gift for my mother. 

next week we have some time off from school, if she finishes her projects early, so I was going to ask if she wanted to go out later in the week (today is Sunday). I was going to semester a botanical garden in her parent of the wood as a meeting place and see where it goes. 
 

how long would you weight foe a “second date”, and what would you make of her new confidence around me? I have my own opinions but want to see if people share the same. 

[Gebidozo]

If a woman told me she would like to see me every week but it will probably be less than that, I wouldn’t date her, unless we lived in different cities (which I probably also wouldn’t do). Seeing each other once per week is already too little for me.

I’d interpret this as a lack of romantic interest or, at best, an insurmountable incompatibility in our views of what dating and romance were.

I also don’t quite understand how her “letting you pay for her without fussing” or helping you choose a present for someone is in any way connected to romantic interest in you.

Bottom line, I think you might be over-investing into someone who doesn’t appear to be particularly enthusiastic or willing to move things forward.

 

Edited Monday at 03:36 AM by Gebidozo

[BaileyB]

Dates happen more frequently when you first meet someone and start dating because you are getting to know each other. More intimate things like hanging out and cooking dinner for the other, shopping together, etc… happen over time when you feel more comfortable with each other. I would expect the person that I’m dating to actually “date” me - at least initially. You need to show your interest and get to know the woman - and the way you do that and build a bond with her is by sharing common experiences… So, plan another date! 

[BaileyB]

1 hour ago, Amtguy said:

I think she prefers to date slowly. Told me I shouldn’t expect going out too often even though she would like to every week.

I would expect to see the person I’m dating at least once a week initially - more than that as we start to get closer. 

You have to wonder why she is managing your expectations… does she see you as more of a friend, someone with whom she can shop with and hang out? People who are interested in dating - date. 

[Sanch62]

2 hours ago, Amtguy said:

Told me after calling our outing a dat, I shouldn’t expect going out too often even though she would like to every week.

I don't view this as a problem. She likes you enough to manage your expectations, which she wouldn't bother to do if she planned on ditching you instead of dating you more.

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...I was going to semester a botanical garden in her parent of the wood as a meeting place and see where it goes. 

I don't understand this sentence at all.

[Els]

14 hours ago, Amtguy said:

She and I had a great first “date” (it took her a few days for her to tell me that she considered it a date), we both had a good time grabbing lunch and shopping. We both bought sunglasses. It also gave use time together, see each other in a different way. We were comfortable enuff to compare how different our hands felt to one another. 
I think she prefers to date slowly. Told me after calling our outing a dat, I shouldn’t expect going out too often even though she would like to every week.

This is really confusing.

So you asked her to do something with you but didn't call it a date? And a few days later she told you that she considered it a date? In what context did she say so? Was it you prompting her, or did she say it out of the blue, or what?

[enterthevoid]

 

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how long would you wait for a “second date”

When would you like to go on a 2nd date with her?  You don't need to play artificial waiting games.  If you want to ask her on a 2nd date soon, ask her soon. 

If you both want to have a 3rd date in the same week, you can do that too.  There are no "rules".  It's whatever you both want.