Mimiandy Posted July 27 Posted July 27 Last week, I anonymously posted about my boyfriend in one of those Facebook groups where women share info to find out if their man is involved with someone else. I did it because I noticed our communication had been getting increasingly distant nothing like how things were in the beginning. I had already brought up my concerns to him, but he didn’t respond. Someone in the group who knows him ended up sending him a screenshot of my post. He confronted me and asked if I was behind it. He clearly knew the truth and gave me multiple chances to be honest, but I still tried to deny it. Eventually, I admitted it. He was really disappointed not just because of the post itself, but because I didn’t come clean when I had the chance. I’ve taken full accountability and spent the last couple of days apologizing to him, but he’s still understandably hurt. I’ve offered to give him space but he said he didn’t need it. We recently had a conversation about everything, and when I asked him where we stand, he kept saying he didn’t know. During that talk, he also explained the reason he’s been distant lately, which gave me some clarity but things still feel uncertain between us. Help.
basil67 Posted July 27 Posted July 27 You've apologised, so there's nothing more you can do except wait and see if he decides that you're worth continuing with 2
ShySoul Posted July 27 Posted July 27 You have done what you can. You came clean and admitted what you did. You said you were sorry. You've talked about what was going on and why he was distant. All you can do now is work together to try and be on the same page and enjoy each other's company. He isn't asking for space and seems to be trying to get through it, so there is still a chance you can be together. But it takes time to fully put things in the past. Be patient and give it time. Also use this as a chance to learn and grow. When there is an issue in a relationship, talk to the person. Respect their space. Jumping to a conclusion such as they must be cheating can easily backfire unless you have real proof of it. And when confronted with something, be honest. The lie usually turns out to be worse then the action. I hope you can work through this. 1
Alpacalia Posted July 28 Posted July 28 1 hour ago, ShySoul said: You have done what you can. You came clean and admitted what you did. You said you were sorry. You've talked about what was going on and why he was distant. All you can do now is work together to try and be on the same page and enjoy each other's company. He isn't asking for space and seems to be trying to get through it, so there is still a chance you can be together. But it takes time to fully put things in the past. Be patient and give it time. Also use this as a chance to learn and grow. When there is an issue in a relationship, talk to the person. Respect their space. Jumping to a conclusion such as they must be cheating can easily backfire unless you have real proof of it. And when confronted with something, be honest. The lie usually turns out to be worse then the action. I hope you can work through this. Great advice as always. PS. I am the Anti-Hero.
Author Mimiandy Posted July 28 Author Posted July 28 On 7/27/2025 at 6:14 PM, ShySoul said: You have done what you can. You came clean and admitted what you did. You said you were sorry. You've talked about what was going on and why he was distant. All you can do now is work together to try and be on the same page and enjoy each other's company. He isn't asking for space and seems to be trying to get through it, so there is still a chance you can be together. But it takes time to fully put things in the past. Be patient and give it time. Also use this as a chance to learn and grow. When there is an issue in a relationship, talk to the person. Respect their space. Jumping to a conclusion such as they must be cheating can easily backfire unless you have real proof of it. And when confronted with something, be honest. The lie usually turns out to be worse then the action. I hope you can work through this. Now he’s being passive aggressive. He’s responding to my text messages 1 or 2 days later. And his messages are very distant. Here’s what I mean, yesterday I sent him a simple text saying hey just checking in hope your day is going well. 24 hours later he responded and said I’m cool how are you what’s new?…as if he was texting a friend. Idk if I’m overthinking it but that felt kind of like he’s emotionally checked out.
Rockmysocks Posted August 1 Posted August 1 On 7/29/2025 at 9:46 AM, Mimiandy said: Now he’s being passive aggressive. He’s responding to my text messages 1 or 2 days later. And his messages are very distant. Here’s what I mean, yesterday I sent him a simple text saying hey just checking in hope your day is going well. 24 hours later he responded and said I’m cool how are you what’s new?…as if he was texting a friend. Idk if I’m overthinking it but that felt kind of like he’s emotionally checked out. Yes, he's been emotionally checked out for a long time, way before your Facebook post, but you didn't want to admit it to yourself. Cut your losses & move on. 1 1
Anonymous Posted August 1 Posted August 1 OP, if you don't mind sharing, what explanation did he give for being distant? I ask because that seems to be the genesis of everything else you describe happening. And the fact that you expressed concern and he didn't respond is something we should spend some time on.
flitzanu Posted August 1 Posted August 1 to be honest, he's probably pretty annoyed that his "girlfriend" tried to publicly accuse him of cheating, so unless he actually forgives you, i'd expect this treatment to continue
ExpatInItaly Posted August 1 Posted August 1 On 7/29/2025 at 1:46 AM, Mimiandy said: Idk if I’m overthinking it but that felt kind of like he’s emotionally checked out. I think he is, too. I'm sorry, but I think you should brace yourself for a break-up. 1
smackie9 Posted August 3 Posted August 3 He just gaslighted you by getting mad at you instead of addressing the issue of the cause for your actions. IMO dump this guy before he dumps you. Whether he's cheating or not...he's pulled away/checked out of your relationship. It's a slow death now if you keep hanging on...you just gave him a reason out without him doing it himself...I'm sure he was trying to figure out a way to end it...slow fade seems to be the method he was using. 1
Author Mimiandy Posted August 5 Author Posted August 5 On 8/1/2025 at 8:01 AM, Anonymous said: OP, if you don't mind sharing, what explanation did he give for being distant? I ask because that seems to be the genesis of everything else you describe happening. And the fact that you expressed concern and he didn't respond is something we should spend some time on. The classic “I’m busy with work”. I told him he had the same job when we first started talking and that never stoped him from texting. He then said He’ll be in my home town in a few weeks and that we can talk about everything then. On 8/1/2025 at 8:01 AM, Anonymous said: OP, if you don't mind sharing, what explanation did he give for being distant? I ask because that seems to be the genesis of everything else you describe happening. And the fact that you expressed concern and he didn't respond is something we should spend some time on.
Author Mimiandy Posted August 5 Author Posted August 5 On 8/3/2025 at 6:57 PM, smackie9 said: He just gaslighted you by getting mad at you instead of addressing the issue of the cause for your actions. IMO dump this guy before he dumps you. Whether he's cheating or not...he's pulled away/checked out of your relationship. It's a slow death now if you keep hanging on...you just gave him a reason out without him doing it himself...I'm sure he was trying to figure out a way to end it...slow fade seems to be the method he was using. When I asked if he wanted to end things he said he didn’t. He also mentioned that he’ll be back in my state and that we can talk about everything face to face.
Acacia98 Posted August 8 Posted August 8 (edited) On 8/5/2025 at 6:39 AM, Mimiandy said: When I asked if he wanted to end things he said he didn’t. He also mentioned that he’ll be back in my state and that we can talk about everything face to face. I don't know him, so this may very well be a sincere answer on his part. But sometimes people give precisely that answer so that they can avoid/postpone having difficult conversations. For now, keep an open mind. And when you do talk, if the issues remain unresolved, it's perfectly reasonable to acknowledge that the relationship is not meeting your emotional needs and to end it. In future, if someone you're dating becomes unusually quiet and the drop in communication lasts longer than is healthy for a relationship, you have the right to be concerned. You certainly should try to talk to him about it. And if he doesn't take you seriously or avoids your efforts to have an honest conversation, that's reason enough to end the relationship. You don't need to search for proof that he may be cheating on you. Edited August 8 by Acacia98
smackie9 Posted August 9 Posted August 9 On 8/4/2025 at 8:39 PM, Mimiandy said: When I asked if he wanted to end things he said he didn’t. He also mentioned that he’ll be back in my state and that we can talk about everything face to face. ask yourself this....does his actions match what he says?
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