curiousbro Posted July 25 Posted July 25 So for the past few weeks I've been going to physical therapy for an ankle sprain and I think?? the receptionist has been flirting with me but I'm not completely sure it's not just her being nice to patients as it's her job. (I'm 24, she's 25 as she even mentioned this to me in my first visit when filling out paperwork etc.) I guess my question is it okay or taboo for me to ask her out, and if it is when's the best way to approach it? The other problem is timing can be awkward because about half of the time she's occupied with another patient or on the phone when I come in and leave and there's no real need for me to talk to her because of the automated checkin kiosk. Whenever she's not occupied though she's made these short super friendly comments but we also haven't had any extended conversation so again I'm not sure if I'm taking this the wrong way.
Sony12 Posted July 25 Posted July 25 1 minute ago, curiousbro said: So for the past few weeks I've been going to physical therapy for an ankle sprain and I think?? the receptionist has been flirting with me but I'm not completely sure it's not just her being nice to patients as it's her job. (I'm 24, she's 25 as she even mentioned this to me in my first visit when filling out paperwork etc.) I guess my question is it okay or taboo for me to ask her out, and if it is when's the best way to approach it? The other problem is timing can be awkward because about half of the time she's occupied with another patient or on the phone when I come in and leave and there's no real need for me to talk to her because of the automated checkin kiosk. Whenever she's not occupied though she's made these short super friendly comments but we also haven't had any extended conversation so again I'm not sure if I'm taking this the wrong way. Feel free to ask her out if you'd like but don't get your hopes up. Most people in those types of roles act that way with a lot of the customers. They are just trying to be nice and give the appearance that it is a friendly location to come to. 2
Author curiousbro Posted July 25 Author Posted July 25 1 minute ago, Sony12 said: Feel free to ask her out if you'd like but don't get your hopes up. Most people in those types of roles act that way with a lot of the customers. They are just trying to be nice and give the appearance that it is a friendly location to come to. Yea that's what I figured it just seems like something a little more to me and I'm just not sure if it's a socially acceptable thing for me to do/make it awkward when I go to PT.
Sanch62 Posted July 25 Posted July 25 1 hour ago, curiousbro said: I'm just not sure if it's a socially acceptable thing for me to do/make it awkward when I go to PT. These are two different things. Yes, it's socially acceptable to ask for a date, but if a rejection would harm your perception of your PT as a neutral and relaxing place to go for your physical work, then maybe wait until you're nearly done with your therapy first. While it's true that it's part of the job of a receptionist to offer a welcoming reception to visitors, it's also true that this positions them to get hit on a lot. So I'd zero in on my own comfort versus discomfort with facing possible rejection, and I'd time my request accordingly. If you're already on your way out, then there's no harm or foul in asking. 3
Author curiousbro Posted July 26 Author Posted July 26 8 hours ago, Sanch62 said: These are two different things. Yes, it's socially acceptable to ask for a date, but if a rejection would harm your perception of your PT as a neutral and relaxing place to go for your physical work, then maybe wait until you're nearly done with your therapy first. While it's true that it's part of the job of a receptionist to offer a welcoming reception to visitors, it's also true that this positions them to get hit on a lot. So I'd zero in on my own comfort versus discomfort with facing possible rejection, and I'd time my request accordingly. If you're already on your way out, then there's no harm or foul in asking. Yea I've been thinking the same thing as to just do it in my last session to avoid awkwardness if rejected. Also understand she'd probably be in the position to get hit on a lot and I wouldn't think about it if I didn't think I was getting that feeling back.
enterthevoid Posted July 26 Posted July 26 I dislike the power dynamic of asking someone out at their job. They're in a position where they can't do anything to hurt the customer's feelings and they can't avoid them. 1
Sony12 Posted July 26 Posted July 26 (edited) 3 hours ago, enterthevoid said: I dislike the power dynamic of asking someone out at their job. They're in a position where they can't do anything to hurt the customer's feelings and they can't avoid them. They can easily tell them in a polite fashion that she isn't interested. She would likely tell him that she is already seeing someone. I used to work in a location where there was a lot of that stuff going on and we got used to handling situations like that regardless if we were interested or not interested. Edited July 26 by Sony12 1
Author curiousbro Posted July 26 Author Posted July 26 9 hours ago, enterthevoid said: I dislike the power dynamic of asking someone out at their job. They're in a position where they can't do anything to hurt the customer's feelings and they can't avoid them. I somewhat feel the same way which is why I'm gonna try to me meticulous with how I do it. This might sound cowardly but what would you think of me just leaving her a note asking if she's interested in hanging out with my number? This way there's no awkward rejection in front of others and if she's not interested then she doesn't text and no harm done?
Sony12 Posted July 26 Posted July 26 15 minutes ago, curiousbro said: I somewhat feel the same way which is why I'm gonna try to me meticulous with how I do it. This might sound cowardly but what would you think of me just leaving her a note asking if she's interested in hanging out with my number? This way there's no awkward rejection in front of others and if she's not interested then she doesn't text and no harm done? Unless you are a famous movie star or someone she is head over heals for that isn't going to work. You are basically asking her to make the first move in that situation which is something most women don't like to do.
Author curiousbro Posted July 26 Author Posted July 26 14 minutes ago, Sony12 said: Unless you are a famous movie star or someone she is head over heals for that isn't going to work. You are basically asking her to make the first move in that situation which is something most women don't like to do. Would I not be making the first move by writing the note? She'd simply just have to say yes or no
Sony12 Posted July 26 Posted July 26 (edited) 21 minutes ago, curiousbro said: Would I not be making the first move by writing the note? She'd simply just have to say yes or no You would basically be requiring her to call you. You need to get her number and then call or text her. Edited July 26 by Sony12
Sanch62 Posted July 26 Posted July 26 2 hours ago, curiousbro said: I somewhat feel the same way which is why I'm gonna try to me meticulous with how I do it. This might sound cowardly but what would you think of me just leaving her a note asking if she's interested in hanging out with my number? This way there's no awkward rejection in front of others and if she's not interested then she doesn't text and no harm done? Mmm...I don't know about a note, it's kinda creepy. But however you choose to ask, I wouldn't phrase it as 'hanging out'. That can come off as insulting, like, "Let's skip dating and just go private and have sex." If you want to ask a grown woman out, offer to treat her to a nice lunch, brunch, or dinner. Even just meeting for a cup of coffee sounds better than 'hanging out' like two high school kids hiding from parents in a basement. 1
Author curiousbro Posted July 26 Author Posted July 26 1 hour ago, Sanch62 said: Mmm...I don't know about a note, it's kinda creepy. But however you choose to ask, I wouldn't phrase it as 'hanging out'. That can come off as insulting, like, "Let's skip dating and just go private and have sex." If you want to ask a grown woman out, offer to treat her to a nice lunch, brunch, or dinner. Even just meeting for a cup of coffee sounds better than 'hanging out' like two high school kids hiding from parents in a basement. Yea I agree I wouldn't word it like that, I'd probably right lunch or coffee. I just think the note would feel less awkward for both of us, I'd definitely just ask her if there was no one around but I don't think that's happened once there's always another receptionist and/or patient within earshot. Whether she says yes or no I think it'd be awkward.
basil67 Posted July 27 Posted July 27 May I suggest arriving a bit early one day and listening to how she speaks with other clients? If she's the same with everyone, I wouldn't assume she's flirting with you 1
enterthevoid Posted July 27 Posted July 27 Or maybe find hobbies and social events aside from just hitting on people at their jobs? 2
Author curiousbro Posted July 27 Author Posted July 27 1 hour ago, enterthevoid said: Or maybe find hobbies and social events aside from just hitting on people at their jobs? Thanks man really helpful
ThorLyonsSalem Posted July 28 Posted July 28 I would not take this as a signal on the receptionist's part that she is interested. In some cases, receptionists can and do flirt with the customers / clients who come in as part of their "job". It helps the clients / customers feel at ease with things. People can and do take things like this as interest from "unavailable people" in their lives (a doctor, a teacher, etc.) not seeing it as part of professional courtesy. And, I will say this again and again and again, that coworkers are not friends. It's easy to think that they are friends because you can and will spend more time with them than you will with anyone else, but they are not in any way. You must treat them with polite indifference, they are just window dressing to you and you to them. It's for the best on all parts. If you are truly lonely and wanting friends, seek them out in places / sources outside of a workplace.
Els Posted July 28 Posted July 28 Absolutely not. Especially in a setting where you are a patient who will be visiting the practice repeatedly, that's just putting her in an awful position and making it harder for her to do her job. Is there a reason why you can't instead ask out women who AREN'T being paid to be nice to you, like pretty much everyone else?
enterthevoid Posted July 29 Posted July 29 (edited) On 7/26/2025 at 9:57 PM, curiousbro said: Thanks man really helpful It's not just about you. It's about the human being on the other side of the table too. Why should we help you achieve this outcome, if it could potentially harm someone else? A key part of dating is consent and the ability of the other person to say no. And this would be approaching someone in a situation where they cannot leave if they are uncomfortable. Edited July 29 by enterthevoid 1
Author curiousbro Posted July 30 Author Posted July 30 12 hours ago, enterthevoid said: It's not just about you. It's about the human being on the other side of the table too. Why should we help you achieve this outcome, if it could potentially harm someone else? A key part of dating is consent and the ability of the other person to say no. And this would be approaching someone in a situation where they cannot leave if they are uncomfortable. Well I'm not gonna pester her if she says no so I don't really see the harm. Was just genuinely curious as to how to approach the situation respectfully but if you didn't get that from my post then I'm sorry for not articulating it better.
Author curiousbro Posted July 30 Author Posted July 30 On 7/28/2025 at 1:25 PM, Els said: Absolutely not. Especially in a setting where you are a patient who will be visiting the practice repeatedly, that's just putting her in an awful position and making it harder for her to do her job. Is there a reason why you can't instead ask out women who AREN'T being paid to be nice to you, like pretty much everyone else? Well, no reason I'm not even actively trying to date people but it's just a hunch and then some. As far as going to the practice regularly well my last session's Thursday so I'm not sure that'll be an issue.
Author curiousbro Posted July 30 Author Posted July 30 On 7/28/2025 at 11:26 AM, ThorLyonsSalem said: I would not take this as a signal on the receptionist's part that she is interested. In some cases, receptionists can and do flirt with the customers / clients who come in as part of their "job". It helps the clients / customers feel at ease with things. People can and do take things like this as interest from "unavailable people" in their lives (a doctor, a teacher, etc.) not seeing it as part of professional courtesy. And, I will say this again and again and again, that coworkers are not friends. It's easy to think that they are friends because you can and will spend more time with them than you will with anyone else, but they are not in any way. You must treat them with polite indifference, they are just window dressing to you and you to them. It's for the best on all parts. If you are truly lonely and wanting friends, seek them out in places / sources outside of a workplace. I suppose this is true and the reason I'm not sure if she's interested is because of her job. Just my personal experience but I've never felt a receptionist/doctor whoever it has ever "flirted" with me more than the usual just being professionally nice. I'm not really lonely or even actively dating, I was just curious because it felt like a unique situation and life goes by fast.
Els Posted July 30 Posted July 30 (edited) 32 minutes ago, curiousbro said: Well, no reason I'm not even actively trying to date people but it's just a hunch and then some. As far as going to the practice regularly well my last session's Thursday so I'm not sure that'll be an issue. I know a lot of people who work in healthcare, and going out with patients (past or present) from your workplace is viewed as extremely taboo. Honestly even without the patient dynamic, most women aren't going to be looking for a relationship with their customers. I'd say the odds of anything happening from this are probably 100x lower than your odds of picking someone up randomly at a bar. Edited July 30 by Els
Author curiousbro Posted July 30 Author Posted July 30 1 hour ago, Els said: I know a lot of people who work in healthcare, and going out with patients (past or present) from your workplace is viewed as extremely taboo. Honestly even without the patient dynamic, most women aren't going to be looking for a relationship with their customers. I'd say the odds of anything happening from this are probably 100x lower than your odds of picking someone up randomly at a bar. Well I guess so. Personally I don't know anyone in the healthcare profession so I wouldn't know. I'd say I was pretty sure your actual doctor (in this case physical therapist) would be out of bounds, but a receptionist was a gray area.
Author curiousbro Posted July 30 Author Posted July 30 On 7/26/2025 at 8:43 PM, basil67 said: May I suggest arriving a bit early one day and listening to how she speaks with other clients? If she's the same with everyone, I wouldn't assume she's flirting with you So I actually did this today too and she was very pleasant with everyone but no real compliments per say like I'd say in our conversations. Though everyone else was older and not really in our age range so I'm not sure.
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