Author katie949 Posted July 30 Author Posted July 30 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: You really are lacking insight. People can gossip about you without being angry at you. They can gossip about you without wanting to gain anything. People love to gossip in general. It's obvious that everyone had noticed you and Mr. Boss were friendlier than would be expected. You're kidding yourself if you think this has never been whispered about among them when you weren't around. Anyway, I would continue to focus on your work and maintaining a professional boundary at all times. it sounds like a non-issue for everyone else at this point. They might have gossiped but I’d hope it wouldn’t be malicious about me. They mentioned the ‘favourite’ comment to my face, they could’ve just kept it private. I’m leaving at the end of November anyway so even if these seemingly nice people secretly dislike me I won’t have to see them much… although I suspect they’ll try to stay in touch.
Author katie949 Posted July 30 Author Posted July 30 39 minutes ago, stillafool said: This right here shows that they have been gossiping about you being is favorite behind your back. They have discussed it and came to that conclusion. I mean yes it’s obvious they’ve discussed it, but they’ve said it to my face. Have they said anything malicious about me behind my back? Well I’ll never know, I’m not a mind reader…. Nobody truly knows what people say behind their back.
stillafool Posted July 30 Posted July 30 3 hours ago, katie949 said: I mean yes it’s obvious they’ve discussed it, but they’ve said it to my face. Have they said anything malicious about me behind my back? Well I’ll never know, I’m not a mind reader…. Nobody truly knows what people say behind their back. No, but if you listen carefully you can usually tell from the slip ups people make in conversation, like when they said "everybody know you're his favorite" was a dead give-a-way. Did you check out that thread I left for you to read?
Author katie949 Posted August 6 Author Posted August 6 On 7/30/2025 at 11:14 PM, stillafool said: No, but if you listen carefully you can usually tell from the slip ups people make in conversation, like when they said "everybody know you're his favorite" was a dead give-a-way. Did you check out that thread I left for you to read? Not yet no. I would hope that me being apparently ´Favour otite’ would lead to them b****ing about the boss, not me, as it wasn’t my fault!
ExpatInItaly Posted August 6 Posted August 6 1 hour ago, katie949 said: Not yet no. I would hope that me being apparently ´Favour otite’ would lead to them b****ing about the boss, not me, as it wasn’t my fault! You do realize people gossip for purposes other than b****ing, right?
stillafool Posted August 6 Posted August 6 4 hours ago, katie949 said: Not yet no. I would hope that me being apparently ´Favour otite’ would lead to them b****ing about the boss, not me, as it wasn’t my fault! The point is for them to come to that conclusion means they've been gossiping about you and your boss behind your backs. I would think you'd jump to read the other thread because she sounds like she could be you. In fact, I think it is you because it is too coincidental that you two have the same exact story. You have been here before about this man, and I'm surprised you're still going on about this for over a year now. 1
Author katie949 Posted August 6 Author Posted August 6 2 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said: You do realize people gossip for purposes other than b****ing, right? Of course but as long as they weren’t talking negatively about me then I don’t really care. Everyone calls the boss stingy and eccentric, for example, even if some people like him anyway.
Author katie949 Posted August 6 Author Posted August 6 7 minutes ago, stillafool said: The point is for them to come to that conclusion means they've been gossiping about you and your boss behind your backs. I would think you'd jump to read the other thread because she sounds like she could be you. In fact, I think it is you because it is too coincidental that you two have the same exact story. You have been here before about this man, and I'm surprised you're still going on about this for over a year now. I cant open that thread on my phone for some reason, so I can’t tell you whether it’s mine until I actually see it. It has been an ongoing issue and cause of me feeling uncomfortable at work, even when this man isn’t physically present he is always discussef’ X by colleagues and online. We are all in work 5 days a week and it’s a big chunk of our time; if we really aren’t happy it can affect our well-being. Anyway I am leaving in October. I handed in my notice, and I’m relieved.
ExpatInItaly Posted August 7 Posted August 7 19 hours ago, katie949 said: Anyway I am leaving in October. I handed in my notice, and I’m relieved. That's good. Stay focused on this, and you won't spend as much time thinking about him and his wife. 1
Author katie949 Posted August 12 Author Posted August 12 On 8/7/2025 at 12:58 PM, ExpatInItaly said: That's good. Stay focused on this, and you won't spend as much time thinking about him and his wife. Yes… now I’ve handed the notice in, this man is now being unhelpful as regards my final pay check (ignoring my email asking whether I’ll be paid in full for my final three weeks), and I don’t know whether he’ll provide a reference to my new employer or not. So you see, this is his level of behaviour….
stillafool Posted August 15 Posted August 15 On 8/12/2025 at 11:58 AM, katie949 said: Yes… now I’ve handed the notice in, this man is now being unhelpful as regards my final pay check (ignoring my email asking whether I’ll be paid in full for my final three weeks), and I don’t know whether he’ll provide a reference to my new employer or not. So you see, this is his level of behaviour…. Maybe he's relieved you're leaving and is trying to be as helpful as possible to help you move along. If you're not leaving until October, why are you giving such an early notice? Most people only give 2 weeks. You're giving almost an 8 week notice, why?
Author katie949 Posted August 15 Author Posted August 15 1 hour ago, stillafool said: Maybe he's relieved you're leaving and is trying to be as helpful as possible to help you move along. If you're not leaving until October, why are you giving such an early notice? Most people only give 2 weeks. You're giving almost an 8 week notice, why? The standard is a month’s notice in some companies in the UK. And if he’s relieved I’m leaving, why doesn’t he help me by (a) sending me a reference (which he hasn’t replied to me about) and (b) letting me know about my final pay? He’s just being awkward or lazy. He isn’t being helpful. He’s delaying the paperwork for my new job!
stillafool Posted August 15 Posted August 15 (edited) 31 minutes ago, katie949 said: The standard is a month’s notice in some companies in the UK. And if he’s relieved I’m leaving, why doesn’t he help me by (a) sending me a reference (which he hasn’t replied to me about) and (b) letting me know about my final pay? He’s just being awkward or lazy. He isn’t being helpful. He’s delaying the paperwork for my new job! Girl please, he has 8 weeks to get that done. Why the rush? If you want them sooner just quit, then he will have to give you your final pay and hopefully, good reference. It's not his job to help you move on to your next job. I thought you said you already had another job lined up for October, so why do you even need a reference at this point? You already have the job. Have you told him you have a new job already and they need your reference? Edited August 15 by stillafool
basil67 Posted August 15 Posted August 15 4 hours ago, katie949 said: The standard is a month’s notice in some companies in the UK. And if he’s relieved I’m leaving, why doesn’t he help me by (a) sending me a reference (which he hasn’t replied to me about) and (b) letting me know about my final pay? He’s just being awkward or lazy. He isn’t being helpful. He’s delaying the paperwork for my new job! Forget about guessing at whatever motives may be going on. Just follow up on whatever it is you need from him 1
ExpatInItaly Posted August 16 Posted August 16 19 hours ago, katie949 said: , why doesn’t he help me by (a) sending me a reference (which he hasn’t replied to me about) and (b) letting me know about my final pay? Does he need to do this so far in advance? You're not leaving for several weeks yet. 19 hours ago, stillafool said: I thought you said you already had another job lined up for October, so why do you even need a reference at this point? I don't understand this, either. 1
Author katie949 Posted August 17 Author Posted August 17 On 8/16/2025 at 3:29 PM, ExpatInItaly said: Does he need to do this so far in advance? You're not leaving for several weeks yet. I don't understand this, either. I’ve been offered a job on the condition that a satisfactory reference is recieved.
stillafool Posted August 17 Posted August 17 1 hour ago, katie949 said: I’ve been offered a job on the condition that a satisfactory reference is recieved. Did you tell you boss this? How are you planning to quit at the end of September when you don't have a job you're actually starting in October like you said?
stillafool Posted August 17 Posted August 17 On 7/28/2025 at 10:39 AM, katie949 said: I have actually accepted a new job but I haven’t handed in my notice yet (I will soon). Here you said you have already accepted a new job. Why now are you saying the job was offered on the condition of a satisfactory reference? If you accepted already accepted the job you must have been given a starting date. What is it?
ExpatInItaly Posted August 17 Posted August 17 1 hour ago, katie949 said: I’ve been offered a job on the condition that a satisfactory reference is recieved. So in other words, you have not actually secured this job. It's just a conditional offer, which is really not the same as having a new job to go to. You have to realize your current boss is not obligated to give you a good reference. You didn't go about this very wisely. 1
Author katie949 Posted August 17 Author Posted August 17 2 hours ago, stillafool said: Did you tell you boss this? How are you planning to quit at the end of September when you don't have a job you're actually starting in October like you said? I’m not leaving until the week before the new job starts.
stillafool Posted August 17 Posted August 17 2 hours ago, katie949 said: I’m not leaving until the week before the new job starts. When is that? And if you already have the job, why do they now need a reference?
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