Boyfriend doesn't find me attractive

[TeriM]

Just the other day my boyfriend took a picture of me to send to his friend as I had bought something from a shop his friend frequented, now this picture was going no further than his friend however he went out of his way to crop my head out of it, he sent it on Snapchat which only would have expired by the time it was opened, I have never felt so devastated or hurt by something I can't stop crying about it.

We've been together 3 years and in 3 years he's must have posted me about four times when he's felt his hands are tied due to my birthday or valentines. His exes that he posted frequently in much shorter time they were together are both still there on his Facebook. 

I have talked to him about the girls he follows on Instagram but was met with, "they're just from the car scene." As he's big into cars 

Sex life is more than average however men visualize and majority of the time lights are off. I feel like something I already felt deep down has been solidified and I don't know why he's with me.

 

[ExpatInItaly]

10 minutes ago, TeriM said:

I don't know why he's with me.

The better question is why are you still with him? 

You're clearly very unhappy. You are free to leave too, girl. 

[Sony12]

Yeah you two aren't married. Both of you are free to end it at anytime you wish. This isn't a complicated situation. You just need to be willing to do what you know you should do.

[Gaeta]

Longer you stay with him more your self esteem will suffer. In a loving relationship we cherish elevate each other. It's time for you to move on.

[stillafool]

Maybe he just didn't want his friend to have a picture of his girlfriend.  Did you think about that?

[Sanch62]

2 hours ago, Gaeta said:

Longer you stay with him more your self esteem will suffer. In a loving relationship we cherish elevate each other. It's time for you to move on.

This is so true. Self-esteem can't be banked in other people; that's why it's called 'self' esteem, not boyfriend-esteem. You deserve someone who inspires you, but you can't find him unless you free yourself from someone who does the opposite.

[enterthevoid]

Yes, I would be concerned if he used to post his exes on social media and show them to the world, but he is hiding you.

Are there any other things that he's said or done that indicate that he doesn't find you attractive, or just this?

 

 

 

[Gina2005]

You should just, ditch him.

[Sanch62]

On 7/20/2025 at 4:48 PM, enterthevoid said:

Are there any other things that he's said or done that indicate that he doesn't find you attractive, or just this?

It may not even be that he doesn't find you attractive. He may be hiding you because he also has something else going on with someone else.

You deserve to find someone who is crazy about you and who can openly demonstrate that to the world.

[MsJayne]

Three years he's been hiding you from his friends? How does he manage that? 

[Els]

Him cropping your face out, in and of itself, isn't necessarily a bad thing. When I take pictures where the focus is an item but there are people in it (my friends, husband, family members etc), I'll usually crop their faces out unless they explicitly give me permission to include it with the item.

The rest of it though... yeah that doesn't sound good overall. I'd question why you're still with a person who makes you feel that way.

[Sanch62]

11 hours ago, MsJayne said:

Three years he's been hiding you from his friends? How does he manage that? 

At any point during those 3 years he may have found someone to start up a thing. If his friends know the person, he may have told them that he and OP broke up. Maybe it was last week, who knows?

Edited Tuesday at 03:19 PM by Sanch62