Long distance

[enterthevoid]

Quote

Well he offers to pay for my ubers. 

This is sus.  Two hour-long Uber drives + paying for dinner is a lot of money to spend on a total stranger that he never met and may not even know if he has chemistry with. 

Is he really being charitable or is he expecting 'something in return'?

There's a reason why he offered a date right near his house (despite the long distance); and not halfway.  Because he wants to invite you over.

And if he's an a**h***, he's going to feel like because he's spending money on you and took you out on the date, that he is entitled to XYZ. 

If you decline his offer, he will (at best) not pay for your Uber back home (even though he was so charitable about paying for your uber + dinner beforehand when he thought he was going to get laid).  And at worst, this could be unsafe as some of the other commenters said.

 

Edited Sunday at 08:43 PM by enterthevoid

[Gina2005]

I'm assuming money is not a problem for him, but, sending an Uber to pick you up like if a date with you is something that can be delivered to him, sounds sketchy.

[Sugarspice25]

20 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

What was the plan supposed to be if you'd actually gone to him? 

Did he expect you to stay over? This whole situation sounds off. 

Just dinner 

[Sugarspice25]

14 hours ago, Gina2005 said:

I'm assuming money is not a problem for him, but, sending an Uber to pick you up like if a date with you is something that can be delivered to him, sounds sketchy.

Or he's being nice?

[Sugarspice25]

16 hours ago, enterthevoid said:

This is sus.  Two hour-long Uber drives + paying for dinner is a lot of money to spend on a total stranger that he never met and may not even know if he has chemistry with. 

Is he really being charitable or is he expecting 'something in return'?

There's a reason why he offered a date right near his house (despite the long distance); and not halfway.  Because he wants to invite you over.

And if he's an a**h***, he's going to feel like because he's spending money on you and took you out on the date, that he is entitled to XYZ. 

If you decline his offer, he will (at best) not pay for your Uber back home (even though he was so charitable about paying for your uber + dinner beforehand when he thought he was going to get laid).  And at worst, this could be unsafe as some of the other commenters said.

 

I canceled the date told him I couldn't make it. He just said okay.

[Sugarspice25]

17 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

Do you know any of the same people who you can ask about him?

Be careful about strangers who want to connect with you over FB or any free platform, with no payment to a dating site that can verify that they're at least using a real name and credit card.

Don't position yourself in a car or other private place with a stranger. He tried to get you to come to him, and that's sketchy. A man with good intentions wouldn't do that.

So now he's agreeing to come to meet, but that doesn't rule out grooming you to get you alone. You sound a bit naive' to be messing with strangers who you can't get to know easily over time and in public. How many dates with an hour long drive do you think this guy would be willing pull off before he wants to 'see' your place?

He's a real estate agent. I googled him and he's not lying. The same phone number he gave me matches the agent. 

Anyway I canceled the date. He just said okay.

[Gina2005]

49 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said:

Or he's being nice?

Having a date delivered isn't nice.

Meeting halfway is nice.

Driving closer or to your location is nice.

[Sony12]

Paying for someone's Uber almost sounds like a transactional set up. I wonder if the guy has had sex with hookers in the past.

In anycase good thing you cancelled because you really wouldn't know for sure if he would have been willing to pay for your ride home.

Edited Monday at 03:46 PM by Sony12

[justwhoiam]

Ok. Real estate agent. Maybe he has appointments till late and couldn't make the hour drive to take you out at 7:30 pm, so that's why he asked you to go there. That's a possibility. Unfortunately, it looks like you didn't ask questions, he didn't provide answers. Now he'll think you're not interested and might move on. If you decided to meet again, make sure it's in a public place. Get yourself an Uber to some place in your town or neighboring town. Don't give him your address. Then see how it goes. Maybe Sunday lunch. Should he ask again.

As others said, be cautious with Facebook accounts and online dating.

[enterthevoid]

Sony12 is right.  He wanted sex, at his place.  He was willing to pay for dinner + an uber there on the condition that they have sex, and if they do not, he probably doesn't pay for the uber back.

Her coming to him, in his area, relying on him for transportation creates a power dynamic that favors him.

Good that she cancelled.

Edited Monday at 04:36 PM by enterthevoid

[ThorLyonsSalem]

3 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said:

I canceled the date told him I couldn't make it. He just said okay.

I am glad to hear this. You played it safe and you'll be happier in the long / short run. 

This reminds me of two of the stranger things that stood out when I was OLDing in the past. I connected with this guy in another state and he said he wanted to come to my state to meet me. I thought that was strange that he would want to do that, so I asked if there were other business / personal reasons why he would want to come to my city.  He didn't answer, he just said he wanted to come and see me.  I blocked him if he's not even going to answer a simple question or two.  The second was this guy who I would go out on two dates with : He drove to my house and picked me up for both dates.  He never came into my apartment (I am on the 3rd floor), and he returned me both times.  I realized now how foolish that was of me to do so, he was a stranger to me and I to him.  But that was a long time ago now, I never heard another word from him again after the second date.  I don't even remember his first name anymore, maybe he doesn't mine either, so it's just something in the past. 

[Sanch62]

13 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said:

He's a real estate agent. I googled him and he's not lying. The same phone number he gave me matches the agent.

Anyway I canceled the date. He just said okay.

Good work. Don't get 'solicited' by strangers trying to connect on free platforms. Do some searching about the unbelievable number of horror stories and scams that tend to come from that scenario.

Don't ever accept friend requests from strangers who don't share a large number of mutuals, BUT FIRST verify them with some of the mutuals. Lots of accounts are hacked and the compromised friend lists are used as their own on new fake accounts. Same thing with stealing identities of business people, like realtors, who publish their phone numbers.

Any man who doesn't intuitively and automatically demonstrate appreciation for a woman's need for safety is a suspect. Block him immediately and without engaging further. He's only self-interested and either stupid or manipulative and possibly malicious. He is likely fishing for someone naive enough to forego caution to a stranger who holds out some candy. The stuff your parents should have taught you about 'stranger danger' still applies, and you will thank yourself for adopting the self-respect to look out for your own safety as a priority over curiosity.

Find a stand-up guy who is local and easily accessible. If that means paying the small price for the safety of initial verification through a reputable dating site, then try that out. But first, read some material on 'safety first' in online dating.