How to live on if your loved one has stopped loving you

[dsadsaddasd]

Hi everyone.

I'm going through something really hard, and I decided to share my story here. Maybe someone can relate, or maybe my experience will help others see some things more clearly.

I was in a relationship with a girl for two years. These were very important years for me — I loved her deeply, tried to build something real, stayed by her side through hard times. She was my first serious girlfriend, my first kiss, my first intimacy. She knew all my secrets. I gave her everything.

But in the end, she chose to leave.
She said I didn’t do enough for her: we didn’t even go to a cafe, there weren’t enough gifts, flowers, or jewelry.
Yes, I did buy her things — but I was constantly struggling with money, actively searching for work, trying to get on my feet. Maybe I really did do too little for her. But the gifts I gave weren’t cheap — I saved up for them.

Today, I went to her with flowers, begged her to stay. She told me she doesn’t love me anymore. Said that for the past few months it wasn’t love, just attachment. After she told me we needed to break up, she immediately started accepting gifts from other guys and going out with them.

Her eyes were empty — that destroyed me.
Just one day later she was already with someone else. That broke me even more.

She told me I started doing “nice things” too late — that I should’ve done it at the beginning of the relationship. She compared me to her friends’ boyfriends. Even to her father. It hurt so much to hear that.
She said she doesn’t see anything wrong with already going out with other guys.
To me, it feels like betrayal. Like complete loneliness.

Right now I can’t eat, I have no appetite, my whole day has been horrible. Sleepless nights, nerves shot, racing thoughts.
Flashes of memories with her… constant thoughts of her.
I want to forget everything, but the pain won’t let me. I want to feel clean again, to escape this, but it feels impossible.

I came to her with my heart open, with sincerity and love — and I got coldness and words that shattered my heart.
I feel like I missed something important, even though I tried my best.
She’s already with someone else. And I’m left alone with a million unanswered questions.

She even posted a story kissing a new guy — literally a day after our breakup.
And not just anywhere — exactly where she knew I’d see it.
That crushed me.

I want to learn how to let this go. I want to stop thinking about her all the time. I want to move on.
This post is just my way of releasing some of this pain.
If you're reading this — thank you.
I hope no one has to go through the same thing.
Take care of love, if you have it.

[basil67]

The way to live on is to allow yourself time to grieve, and then start living your life.  

The thing I noticed here is that you're pining after a materialistic woman who is upset that you didn't buy her stuff even though she knew you had no money.  Is this really the kind of woman you want?   But I'm also wondering if you didn't ever come up with nice activities which were low cost.   And did she ever pay her own way?    This is the 21st century, so don't ever attach yourself to a woman who won't ever pay.  

With the job search, are you open to flipping burgers or stacking shelves in a supermarket?   Because being able to show work history, no matter how basic, is the secret to getting a good job.   

Edited Friday at 11:05 PM by basil67

[Gebidozo]

You dodged a bullet. A woman who breaks up with you because you didn’t buy enough things for her and immediately goes on to accept gifts from other men is not someone you’d want to be seriously involved with.

I know it hurts now, but with time you’ll be able to see this as a valuable lesson. Don’t date people with materialistic mindsets again, it will only bring you further misery and deep disappointment.

This was only your first relationship. Those almost always end up in a breakup anyway. You have plenty of time to explore other relationships and eventually find a partner that suits you best. I found such a partner only at the age of 45.

 

[swirlingcloud]

I'm sorry. The way she behaves is showing you exactly who she is. You are a better person and better ex and yea, better everything than what she is about. She has not appreciated the true quality of something truly worth while, the quality you are and gave. Be happy she is gone. She is superficial, immature, selfish, rightious. Maybe one day or maybe never she will wake up after been treated badly by other guys and realize what she walked away from. I hope by then you have found your equal and that if she shows up you close the door on her. To be loved by someone like her is not a love I would appreciate. To be loved by people that you know are good people, who has good qualities about them that is a love you want. 

Edited yesterday at 05:02 AM by swirlingcloud