Are they breaking up or what's up?

[misskarrie09]

So I had an affair at work with a married man for a few months and looks like the wife found out about 2 weeks ago. I was his mistress that everyone knew and our last conversation was "what you want me to do now, leave my wife and kids?!" 

And all I know over the weekend I saw him active at 2am in the morning from Sunday-Monday, one coworker that lives in his village said "he has problems" and "he is resigning. But not from the job. Because of you. Coz you make his life hard" but it sounded like a teasing remark.

And I just noticed he smokes a lot at work, he keeps talking on the phone for minutes, the guys go near him to overhear, she doesn't come visit him anymore, I see his car/her car at 8-10pm on Fridays around, I saw she has in her friend list people from city hall, social assistance, and her work colleagues and family in like top 20 , we all live in the village and the whole workplace knows and even the whole village and he blocked my phone number (but the guys in the village says it wasn't him)

And his wife 2 weeks ago posted story of a couple photo with him, then followed the next 2 days with each of their daughters. He doesn't repost it and at work he doesn't stay over work like before, he walks home in a slow pace, everyone seems to avoid him and he acts possesive in front of the guys here that no one dares to talk to him anymore and they all blame him "he doesn't take responsability for what he does/ he doesn't know what he wants/he is silly/he is immature"

His wife posted again another story of the 2 of them , from a few years back and one from this year and a song how behind his eyes she sees her whole world and she keeps liking pages of unhappy married couples masked through humor (wife complaining about husband, doing it all herself, they both arguing to each other coz he is too soft and so on)

Do you  think they are actually separating or they both feel judged/watched  by the whole village and she is trying to keep up the appeareances? It doesn't look to me like she forgave him because he is too moody and he has a lot of single dad friends in his top fb friends.

What's happening? I don't get it. No one tells me anything and he doesn't seem angry/like he hates me.

[MsJayne]

What do you want to happen? Do you want him to go through the trauma of a marriage breakdown? He has children, and so he  has a responsibility to try and make the marriage work and, if he can't, the reason shouldn't be another woman. Stalking him and his wife on social media isn't doing you any good, and the thing to remember is that even if he did leave his wife it's unlikely that your relationship would work, very few affairs turn into a healthy and happy relationships because they're built on a foundation of lies and deceit. Best thing you can do is move forward with the belief that the affair is over and keep your nose clean because if your entire village is aware of it your reputation is tarnished, and many will view you with suspicion and disapproval. You need to back right off and let them go through whatever it is they're going through without imposing yourself, because their marriage is none of your business. If he had any morals he wouldn't be carrying on with other women in the first place, and you also need to keep this in mind - if he had an affair behind her back, he would likely do the same to you. There are plenty of single men, there's no need to get involved with someone else's husband. 

[misskarrie09]

It's hard to explain.

Imagine he stayed 4-5 hours after his schedule ended just to not go home

He had mental breakdowns over me at work that everyone knows about the drama/telenovela and he even claims me towards other men and they all report to him what I do , who I talk to - to him and things like that. He himself said it

He is now in damage control and no one at work says anything. But imagine it's a village with 1000 people and I also have a bf at home and he also ruined my relationship and my reputation at work with his behaviour and everyone complains to him and judge him coz he doesn't take responsability 

Some of our coworkers have been married 2-3 times and they all laugh at him coz he isn't man enough.

We had an emotional affair not just physical. And he got to the point where he even lashes out around here at work. Imagine what he does at home behind closed doors..

[MsJayne]

20 minutes ago, misskarrie09 said:

And he got to the point where he even lashes out around here at work. Imagine what he does at home behind closed doors..

Yes, very immature. Really, you've dodged a bullet and are better off out of this. 

[Will am I]

One thing I read from the opening post is this: you seem to follow his every move so closely. What he posts on social media. What his wife posts on social media. Where his car is at. Even to the point of what people around him see and notice. 

Nobody should be that dependent on anyone else. Let alone on someone who hasn't committed themselves to you.

Break free, for your own sake.

 

 

[BaileyB]

7 hours ago, misskarrie09 said:

Do you  think they are actually separating?

What's happening? I don't get it.

I think his marriage is none of your business.

You are looking for clues and projecting what you want/hope to see… it’s time for you to focus on your own life. Leave them to their marriage.