how long do you tend to wait between the first and second date?

[Amtguy]

First date went well, she was pleased and we had a good time. She was really happy I got my self some sunglasses.
Wasn’t until we went to lunch the next day, that she admitted to me that she considered it a date. Wasn’t expecting her to call it a date. Ever sence then she’s be willing spend a little more time with me, and she more open about her thoughts, feelings, etc.

told me not to get used to a lot of dates because we don’t have a lot of money or time at the moment. I was thinking about, talking to her about, going to a car resume in a few weeks ( give us time for class and we can save up some cash). I’d like to go on a second date but she is right about our schedules ( we have the same courses). 
 

I have  my opinions, but I like to get your opinions.

how long would you wait for a second date or at the lease talk about making plans?
How would you keep things going?

[Sanch62]

I don't think I'd be helpful with any 'shoulds' on this, because I don't think I'm typical about it. I see so many posts that if someone is interested, they should get right in there and nail down another date right away, even at the end of the prior date.

I don't like that. It feels too 'in yur face,' and like someone is trying to glom onto me. I like at least a couple days to process a date and figure out how I feel after the fact.

[Amtguy]

11 minutes ago, Sanch62 said:

I don't think I'd be helpful with any 'shoulds' on this, because I don't think I'm typical about it. I see so many posts that if someone is interested, they should get right in there and nail down another date right away, even at the end of the prior date.

I don't like that. It feels too 'in yur face,' and like someone is trying to glom onto me. I like at least a couple days to process a date and figure out how I feel after the fact.

Ya same here. She and I are class mates, so it’s not like we don’t see each other and we’ve gone here and there for short periods of time. We’ve started doing this more lately.

fyi she’s in no hurry it took home four months to get this far; and a month after I told her I’d be ok with dating her if I got the chance. 

[swirlingcloud]

Sorry, I think all this is a bit weird. You see each other anyways, as classmates, you two have started dating, and now because of a lack of money and your schedules you think you are to wait til waiting a month ahead? I would focus on continuing the relationship, the dating, dating can look different. Dating does not have to be expensive, for one thing. Dating could be going to the beach, going for a picnic, going to a park, holding hands, hopefully, talking. It is the relationship in itself I would put my focus on. As far as I can see the relationship is ON. You can't just chop things off like that. Are you two going to pretend during classes you have not been on a date or two? That you do not have feelings for one another? Chop that off, and then suddenly a month later there you two are - on a date. No, I'm sorry, that is just weird to me. I thought people in love took every opportunity they got to evolve their relationship, they find the time, they don't care about the finances or what ever. Maybe, I'm hoping, she said this so she do not want you to feel like you need to pay for everything knowing you don't have much money as you are a student, and if that is what she meant, great. The way I see it you two are ON - regardless of forming official dates or not. That would be my focus. But that's me. 

[basil67]

If you really like each other, the second date can happen in less than a week.   I wouldn't wait more than 7 days.  Nobody is so busy that they can't carve out an evening or a few hours during the day once a week.  And if they can't do this minimum amount, then they aren't in a position to be dating....or they aren't that into you.  

Also, having no money shouldn't stop you from seeing each other.  If you're both equally lacking in funds, do free or cheap stuff:   Go on walks (through the city, in the park, along the beach), go to a gallery, throw a football, have a swim, grab a hotdog or an ice cream or just one beer and watch a band in a pub.  When you're ready, Netflix and chill (but not all the time - you have to come up for air).  This is how teenage dating works

[enterthevoid]

Quote

how long would you wait for a second date or at the lease talk about making plans?

I would talk about making a plan the next day and schedule the next date within the week.

If you both like each other, you don't need to play waiting games or follow hard rules.  It just comes naturally and effortlessly that you both see each other again soon.

If money is an issue, you can do park dates, coffee dates, beach dates, or maybe watch tv together.

But regarding the time and schedules, are you okay with dating someone who doesn't have much free time to spend with you.  Would you be okay with a relationship where you would only see each other once a week or whatnot?  And is she also okay with this?

 

Edited Thursday at 07:11 PM by enterthevoid