Anonymous Posted July 14 Posted July 14 My bf has always been very insecure about how he looks and presents himself. I not sure if he has a skin condition or what, but he has a lot of redness on his cheeks naturally. He's been open to me about it and I'm founding out just how much it affects him. Sometimes he does cancel plans for going out which makes me really sad for him. I try to comfort him about it when he gets occasional comments about it or when he vents to me, and I'm not really sure how I can help. He has done so many things to try to help it but nothing ever has worked. I hate seeing him like this but I really like the way he looks and it does look adorable to me and I've never saw it as a downside to his looks. Do you have any opinions this? People with something similar, have you experienced this before? I love him and I just hate how self conscious he gets about it
ShyViolet Posted July 15 Posted July 15 Well has he ever tried going to a doctor or dermatologist about it to find out if it's something like rosacea?
ShySoul Posted July 15 Posted July 15 Would it help him to know that rosey cheeks were once considered a sought after trait? That it was considered handsome? https://www.healthline.com/health/skin-disorders/rosy-cheeks If this is a health issue, then he should consult a doctor and see if something can be done. Its nothing to be ashamed about. It's a medical condition like any other. If it's how he naturally is, then it doesn't really matter. Everyone has some supposed flaw with their body - to much weight, to little weight, weight not in the "right" places, too tall, too short, not symmetrial enough, etc. It's easy to feel something is wrong with you because you don't meet some superficial standard of how you are supposed to look. But the truth is we are all individuals. We all look how we look and we are all beautiful just as we are. Feeling embarrassed or comparing yourself to others is only going to make you feel bad. That's no way to live. We need to be comfortable and happy with who we are - inside and outside. And who we are on the inside will always mean way more then anything on the outside. You are doing the best thing for him, helping him to see he looks fine as he is. Make sure he knows that you love how he looks, and love who he is. Having that support helps. He still has to accept himself, you can't do that for him. But knowing you accept and love him can be the first step in seeing it for himself.
Sanch62 Posted July 16 Posted July 16 I wouldn't bring my partner results of such a poll of strangers. It can come off as a dismissive message, like, "Nobody cares enough about you to be bothered by something that bothers YOU..." and worse, "...including me, I just want my social life back." Instead, I'd offer partner some options, such as, "If you're willing to see a dermatologist who can treat this, I'd be willing to bring you there and stay with you." Or, "I found this lightweight tinted serum (Revlon makes a great one) that goes on almost sheer, it disappears into the skin, but it tones down the red in my face. Want to try it?" No matter how you slice this, your partner's issue is his own to manage. Input from strangers is not likely to be comforting, while a dermatologist can either determine a skin condition or otherwise refer BF to a cardiologist to rule out a potential heart condition or high blood pressure.
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