I have broken up with my fiance 2 weeks before our wedding, feel awful

[Anonymous]

We’ve been together for just under 2 years. We were due to marry and move to a new house in 2 weeks time. I have been feeling incredibly overwhelmed and increasingly feeling that he is not the one for me.

It was so difficult, but I broke up with him today and returned to my family home. I feel an awful person. I really want him to heal and feel better. I figured doing this is better than a divorce later.

Just wanted to vent.

[ShySoul]

I'm sorry for the breakup. You must be feeling low right now. I hope you feel better.

What lead you to this decision? Would you be okay sharing why you've been stressed? Why you think he isn't right? You aren't an awful person and if you were this concerned, there must have been a reason. Maybe if you shared your thoughts, we could help with some of your concerns? Or at least it could help you to get it all out there so you can work through things yourself. I find writing everything out helps me deal with major decisions, and this is clearly a major decision.

[Gebidozo]

7 hours ago, Anonymous said:

I feel an awful person.

You’re not.

Because:

7 hours ago, Anonymous said:

I figured doing this is better than a divorce later.

And you’re right. Marrying a person who you think is not the one for you would have been much more awful for everyone than breaking up now.

That said, perhaps you need to ask yourself the question why, if you felt he wasn’t the right one, you became his fiancée in the first place. Or have you been feeling that way only after the engagement?

[stillafool]

18 hours ago, Anonymous said:

I really want him to heal and feel better.

Of course you do and the best way for you to help him heal is to go complete no contact with him, so you don't interfere with his healing.  It might even help to block him so he can't reach you.

[ShySoul]

How did you break the news to him? What did you say?

A lot depends on why you broke it off, what were the circumstances surrouding it, and how the break up occured. 

I've known cases where people broke up out of the blue when one side thought things were well and then the other person disappeared on them. I had something similar happen to me. It didn't make me feel better. It didn't help me heal. It was like a bomb got dropped on me and then I was left alone to deal with the fallout. 

It didn't really even help her. It allowed her to hide from how she was feeling and avoid having to face me and the situation. But neither of us felt good for months after because we never fully got any closure.

Our healing came once we were finally able to talk about things and come to a place of peace and understanding with each other. I think that is when you know you are healed, when you can talk to the person, work everything out, and come to a place of just caring about and wanting the best for each of you.

You probably had some very real and valid concerns. What were they? 

[ExpatInItaly]

On 7/13/2025 at 8:20 PM, Anonymous said:

I feel an awful person. I really want him to heal and feel better.

You're not an awful person, and will eventually heal and feel better. It may take a long time, but he will get there. 

If your doubts were this strong, it was far better not to proceed with this wedding. You'll need time to process everything, but if it helps, you can share here why you chose to end it. 

[swirlingcloud]

It is what it is, you know you made the right decision for the both of you and that in itself is a kind of caring, actually, even if he don't see that now.

I had to break an engagement too, unfortunately for me where I come from it's always been the guys that have this vision of getting married (and here I thought it would be me, but..). I understood that my (now ex) partner had this vision that he must have had before me, and also a way I suppose, he thought, of keeping me on, as if that was my big dream, of being married. 

Long after us splitting I have understood that it was the symbol of the broken engagement that got him. I wished we would have split before the engagement so that he had not had that and us breaking up combined. I would have still come to the same conclusion, again, for the both of us, had we not gotten to a stage where we got engaged or getting closer to getting married .I'm just sorry that it got to be this thing at the time that it did. It had really nothing to do with the engagement or the wedding in the future. It had to do with us. With me knowing both of us I knew I could not live my life on his terms like that. That what gave him energy stole mine. We would never have made each other happy. We were not happy where we were. Something had been wrong for too long and it could not be fixed. 

I think I just had to come to terms with that you can be right for one another with lets say a piece of a puzzle of your personality, and their with theirs, but then there can be other important pieces of the puzzle that simply too needs to be a great combination or be the same for it to work out. We did not work out. We would not have worked out had we married.