Interesting dating experience - has this happened to you?

[Evolver]

Hi, I am a male based in UK and have been online dating for a few months. I will try to summarize as much as possible. Recently a lady matched with me as she liked my profile, and we started exchanging messages. We then exchanged phone numbers and had a couple of phone conversations. She seemed very keen to meet up and we arranged to meet the following day. She was based 50 miles away and was prepared to meet half way, but I said I'd go to her town. We met at a bar/restaurant. We seemed to get on really well, and as the evening went on the banter and flirting intensified. She touched me a couple of times when she was talking so I took this as a good sign. We were sat opposite so I decided to take a chance and sit next to her. I put my arm around her and we started kissing. We kissed a few times in the bar, and then when I walked her back to her car there was some more passionate open mouthed kissing before going our separate ways. She said she was looking forward to coming over to my town, and asked me to text her when I get home. Anyway, here's the shock, I texted her the next day to ask about meeting up again and she said she really enjoyed the date but didn't feel a spark. I was totally confused at this and started feeling paranoid that I did something wrong. I spoke to a friend for advice, he said she was definitely attracted to me, but women flake out for all sorts of reasons, and saying there's no spark is just the standard reason they give. He said she might even have me on the back burner for now and get back in touch. She obviously hasn't deleted me from her contacts as I still see her WhatsApp status updates. I do remember one thing that was a red flag for me, she mentioned that she'd been on hundreds of dates. I'm not sure whether going on numerous dates makes people more fussy? Does anyone have any idea what happened here? Has anyone had a similar experience?

Edited July 9 by Evolver

[Sanch62]

45 minutes ago, Evolver said:

...she mentioned that she'd been on hundreds of dates.

People measure their internal 'spark' in different ways. Maybe a combo plate of physical attraction and simpatico through conversation. For some, attraction based on looks alone isn't enough to move them, so they might try to see how they feel when touching or kissing.

Apparently, this woman has yet to find someone who moves her needle. She may fail to engage anyone long enough to form the kind of emotional connection that tends to better ignite most people, or she's on some kind of quest to match some feeling she had when kissing her first BF for the first time; who knows?

The bottom line is, she plays out dates to the best of her enjoyment, but this doesn't seem to satisfy whatever glass slipper she's trying to fit. 

[Gebidozo]

This has happened to me multiple times. Had a nice date, shared a romantic kiss, then for whatever reason the woman wasn’t interested enough to continue.

The opposite has happened as well, that I wasn’t interested enough to continue. In quite a few cases, we both weren’t. A completely normal and frequent occurrence.

She told you she just didn’t feel the spark. I don’t see any need for further analysis, her feelings for you aren’t strong enough to keep dating you, so just move on.

I don’t know why your friend advises you to mistrust what she says and look for some nonexistent motives, that’s just weird.

[enterthevoid]

Yeah it happens.  Maybe she was attracted to you physically, but didn't see a long-term connection.

50 miles is also a lot.  Especially for someone who isn't sure how much they like you.  Sure, you could meet halfway for the first date.  But long-term, do you really want to drive 25-50 miles after a long day of work?

Edited July 9 by enterthevoid

[Sony12]

Yes it has happened to me as well. I've had almost an hour long make-out session with a gal only for them to come back later on with there being a lack of chemistry.

Saying there isn't a spark or chemistry is usually just a standard line people give when they want to end things. It doesn't necessarily mean they weren't attracted to you or anything like that. There could have been lots of different meanings behind her giving you that line.

Many times people get caught up in the moment but when they take time to think about what they did they decide it isn't really what they want.

[Sony12]

As far as going on hundreds of dates it just means she dates a lot. Likely 90% of those dates never turned into a second date either.

[ShyViolet]

There could be so many reasons why she decided she wasn't interested in seeing you again.  There's no point in speculating what it might be.  The fact that she said she's been on "hundreds of dates" suggests that she's done this many times before.  A lot of people in today's dating pool are flaky and time-wasters.  You just pick yourself up and move on.

[Sony12]

Another thing to keep in mind is while a little bit of kissing on the first date may have been significant to you it may have been normal dating behavior to her. If she initiated some of the physical interaction chances are she often fools around a bit on the first date. So she may have just been looking for a little fun that night and that's it. If you had pursued it she may have been willing to hook up with you that night.

[ShySoul]

Someone going on a hundred dates isn't likely taking each date seriously. I've known someone recently who bragged about having dated a hundred guys. She proudly talked about "nexting" them for even tiny reasons because they did not meet her something in her list of qualities that a person had to have. I imaginge she did something like what you are describing to many guys.

Some people are out to have fun and just have dates to date. Even when there is a spark - and there seems to have been something - they aren't looking for anything real or serious so just move onto something else. Online dating can attract a lot of people like that. They treat things as a numbers game or just something to do. They kiss because it's fun and it's what you are supposed to do. 

What others do isn't important. The main thing is to figure out what you want and go for that. Do you want a real relationship? Then go slow. Don't rush. Hold off on the heavy kissing. Actually be friends and get to know each other first. Make clear you want something serious and look for people who want the same. The reality is that most people in the dating world are flakes who don't have an idea what is really important or how to make things last. We won't connect with most people and finding someone who wants what we do and we get along with is like finding the needle in the haystack. So realize that you will probably find a lot of Ms Wrong before you find Mrs Right. But when you do find the right one, it's worth it.