What's the Meaning of This?

[Gaeta]

On 7/5/2025 at 8:56 AM, kaleidoscopicjack said:

I've learned to never be too pushy

I would like to add that you should not *push* at all. You cannot convince someone to like you by insisting. There is no such a thing as 'being too shy' to respond to a text. When people like each other things unfold effortlessly. If someone does not reply you can message again ONCE just in case some technical problems prevented your first text from getting to them. Then no more communications and you move on.

[kaleidoscopicjack]

Quote

There is no such a thing as 'being too shy' to respond to a text. 

For practical purposes, this may as well be true. Because there really is no point in persisting on a shy person who feels nervous around you. It will only make them more unconfortable. At the very least, it would take a lot of effort and patience to get them to get confortable around you, and this can't be done solely via texting.

But theoretically, it's not. Even men can be shy, let alone a girl. In fact, I am certain I've been rejected by one of these very shy girls in the past due to her shyness. I caught her staring at me multiple times in my university and when I went to talk to her she blushed. But when I texted her she didn't reply. Later, when I saw her at the library, I went to talk to her and asked her if she wanted to hang out a bit outside the library and she said no. At that point, there was nothing more I could do. I am pretty sure she rejected me due to being shy and nervous and regretted doing it, and was probably kicking herself for days or even weeks because, if you will believe me, I was also shy when I was younger and rejected a few girls due to this. I can give you one specific example. I was at a party many years ago and I ended up somehow talking with a girl I didn't know who then invited me out of the blue to go to the bathroom with her. I was so shocked by her invitation that my first instinct was to say no. She was pretty, too. Of course, I almost instantly regretted rejecting her like this but was too embarassed to turn the situation around and simply walked away and avoided her.

This is to say that shy people DO exist. But unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about it. They have to learn to fight their shyness on their own. 

[Sony12]

19 minutes ago, kaleidoscopicjack said:

For practical purposes, this may as well be true. Because there really is no point in persisting on a shy person who feels nervous around you. It will only make them more unconfortable. At the very least, it would take a lot of effort and patience to get them to get confortable around you, and this can't be done solely via texting.

But theoretically, it's not. Even men can be shy, let alone a girl. In fact, I am certain I've been rejected by one of these very shy girls in the past due to her shyness. I caught her staring at me multiple times in my university and when I went to talk to her she blushed. But when I texted her she didn't reply. Later, when I saw her at the library, I went to talk to her and asked her if she wanted to hang out a bit outside the library and she said no. At that point, there was nothing more I could do. I am pretty sure she rejected me due to being shy and nervous and regretted doing it, and was probably kicking herself for days or even weeks because, if you will believe me, I was also shy when I was younger and rejected a few girls due to this. I can give you one specific example. I was at a party many years ago and I ended up somehow talking with a girl I didn't know who then invited me out of the blue to go to the bathroom with her. I was so shocked by her invitation that my first instinct was to say no. She was pretty, too. Of course, I almost instantly regretted rejecting her like this but was too embarassed to turn the situation around and simply walked away and avoided her.

This is to say that shy people DO exist. But unfortunately, there isn't much you can do about it. They have to learn to fight their shyness on their own. 

You think she was interested in you just because she looked at you a few times? Maybe she was just looking at you because you were looking at her. 

You sound like you have the life experience of a fourteen year old.

Edited 3 hours ago by Sony12

[kaleidoscopicjack]

Haters gonna hate.

[Sony12]

2 minutes ago, kaleidoscopicjack said:

Haters gonna hate.

If you want to believe that go ahead. You seem to have formed your own reality anyways.

[Gebidozo]

1 hour ago, kaleidoscopicjack said:

In fact, I am certain I've been rejected by one of these very shy girls in the past due to her shyness. I caught her staring at me multiple times in my university and when I went to talk to her she blushed. But when I texted her she didn't reply. Later, when I saw her at the library, I went to talk to her and asked her if she wanted to hang out a bit outside the library and she said no. At that point, there was nothing more I could do. I am pretty sure she rejected me due to being shy and nervous and regretted doing it, and was probably kicking herself for days or even weeks

Err… I don’t think so. The by far most obvious explanation is that she wasn’t interested in you. 

You’re creating a narrative here than isn’t really supported by any evidence. Staring could mean absolutely anything, including an intense dislike. She didn’t respond to your text and refused to hang with you. That is ample evidence that she simply didn’t like you.

The way you create those narratives for women which are flattering to you yet aren’t really rooted in reality, is somewhat disturbing.

Perhaps you could address this issue. This tendency of yours is understandably scaring women away.

[kaleidoscopicjack]

I don't see why it's so hard to believe shy people exist. 

Some of you have a lot of trouble accepting my perspective and are very quick to dismiss it. It's like you are incapable of putting yourselves in the shoes of a different man. There were a billion signs that she had some interest in me. The blushing was a dead give away. And stuff like her group of friends looking to me and smiling and giggling and then asking me random questions about me. Etc. Etc. I don't want to list all the stuff I noticed because y'all are apparently too scared of a man who thinks clearly and actively analyzes his surroundings. I know my writing makes you feel uncomfortable.

Which leads me to this last conclusion: the purpose of this thread has been achieved and I'm leaving. Thanks to all the helpful and open minded people who replied. As for the rest of you, feel free to keep posting about how crazy I am. 

Take care.

Edited 1 hour ago by kaleidoscopicjack