What's the Meaning of This?

[MsJayne]

She sounds a bit weird, and also like a whole lot of trouble. About the panties, I'd post them back to her with a note saying, "Some people in the next suburb rang us to complain about the stench of these. Please be responsible and burn them." 

[Sanch62]

On 7/3/2025 at 8:12 PM, basil67 said:

I agree that that your views and blog were the issue.  

Yep, OP, I think politics is the most likely reason she ghosted. She may have enjoyed your date enough to delve into your personality and views, as many people consider a political position as their biggest dealbreaker when it comes to choosing a relationship.

I agree it's unfortunate that she didn't opt to simply tell you this rather than ghost you. However, while her politics may have prompted enough hostility toward you go silent on your repeated requests for another date, she went extra hostile after you put your friend up to sending that cringeworthy hookup comment.

If she did leave her underwear in your smoking spot, it may have merely been a message that says, "This is the most you'll ever have of me."

However, a more devious interpretation to consider might be a setup for you to be caught with the undergarment in your possession should she opt to report you to the authorities, IF you opt to escalate what she may have already started documenting as harassment.

I think you've both reached tilt on adversarial provocation, and I hope for your sake that you're able to walk away from this without making the kind of mistake that can land you in legal trouble. While I don't believe you've crossed that line yet, I hope you'll cut your losses and let this go. You don't know whether she has saved your messages to begin building a case against you IF you opt to continue any contact with her.

Edited yesterday at 04:42 AM by Sanch62

[Sanch62]

1 hour ago, MsJayne said:

She sounds a bit weird, and also like a whole lot of trouble. About the panties, I'd post them back to her with a note saying, "Some people in the next suburb rang us to complain about the stench of these. Please be responsible and burn them." 

While I'd agree with the spirit of this idea, please read my response above to consider why it could escalate things to a legal level and land you in the kind of trouble you can't even fathom right now.

THINK while you have a choice. Let this go, or provoke potential consequences.

[ExpatInItaly]

OP, you have no clue how the underwear even got there or if it had anything whatsoever to do with you. 

Please forget about the underwear. It's not the main problem. 

[Sony12]

Part of me thinks that the whole underwear part of the story is just made up. Then again no one in this story seems like a rational adult so it might be true.

 

[MsJayne]

4 hours ago, Sanch62 said:

While I'd agree with the spirit of this idea, please read my response above to consider why it could escalate things to a legal level and land you in the kind of trouble you can't even fathom right now.

THINK while you have a choice. Let this go, or provoke potential consequences.

Yeah, I was just kidding  

[kaleidoscopicjack]

Don't worry, Sanch62. I won't pursue this girl any longer. Thanks for the heads-up, anyway.

Yeah, the panties could be a final gift or something. Maybe a subtle "f*** you". The panties were very dirty. They were covered with crusted vaginal discharge back-to-back. It shocked me a bit when I found them.

I suspect her decision was not easy to her, too, because after the threat, I overheard her crying to her friend (my then roommate) on her phone's speaker. Her friend said, "But you said he was being annoying", and, "You should have said yes to the hookup", among other things. I don't like to eavesdrop but it was like midnight and I was trying to sleep and couldn't NOT hear them speak, since my room's door was broken and didn't close (that apartment was a mess, and I have since then happily moved out and am finally living alone).

This also leads me to think that it was indeed my blog that caused the ghosting. 

Edited 22 hours ago by kaleidoscopicjack
Typo

[kaleidoscopicjack]

And thanks La.Primavera. I enjoyed reading your thoughtful post.

[Sony12]

Seriously but either this story is being highly exaggerated or everyone in this story (including the OP) has some problems going on in their head.

How the people are acting in this story just isn't how normal people act. I'm beginning though to think that the OP is making parts of it up. The whole thing isn't made up but he is exaggerating some things to where they are no longer based in reality. Either just to make the story more entertaining or he is trying to find ways to where it looks like the girl still likes him.

Edited 21 hours ago by Sony12

[kaleidoscopicjack]

7 hours ago, ExpatInItaly said:

OP, you have no clue how the underwear even got there or if it had anything whatsoever to do with you. 

Please forget about the underwear. It's not the main problem. 

Yeah, it doesn't matter. La.Primavera's theory also makes sense. It's still a coincidence that it happened right after the threat (could have happened months before, or months later, why a couple of days after the threat?), but s*** makes no sense any way you look at it, so there's no point trying to imbue meaning to it.

It was good to write all these thoughts in here and to read all the replies. 

We were simply not fated to be together if my blog really had that negative effect on her, and it was for the best that things ended that way. I've learned to never be too pushy, too, because it leads nowhere. And ExpatInItaly's perspective also helped me realize this. Looking back at my life, I've also had girls that I wasn't interested in hitting on me in the past and it was annoying having to reject their constant advances politely without hurting their feelings and damaging their egos, so I can empathize with her situation.

[kaleidoscopicjack]

Sony12: I am not making anything up. Why would I lie to an anonymous forum where nobody knows me? Though, yeah, I am indeed not "normal" if that's what you're trying to say. That's what philosophy does to you, lol.

The only thing that could be untrue in all the stuff that I said could be the phone call I overheard. I swear I heard crying, and those exact words, but it COULD have been an entirely different person on the phone and my brain COULD have made that stuff up. After all, I was half-asleep.

Either way, it doesn't matter how she FELT. What matters is what she DID. And what she did was to unilateraly reject me, without a shadow of doubt. Which means the only sensible course of action for me is to move on and forget about her.

[Sony12]

25 minutes ago, kaleidoscopicjack said:

Sony12: I am not making anything up. Why would I lie to an anonymous forum where nobody knows me? Though, yeah, I am indeed not "normal" if that's what you're trying to say. That's what philosophy does to you, lol.

The only thing that could be untrue in all the stuff that I said could be the phone call I overheard. I swear I heard crying, and those exact words, but it COULD have been an entirely different person on the phone and my brain COULD have made that stuff up. After all, I was half-asleep.

Either way, it doesn't matter how she FELT. What matters is what she DID. And what she did was to unilateraly reject me, without a shadow of doubt. Which means the only sensible course of action for me is to move on and forget about her.

You'd be surprised how often it happens on here. People start changing the story as they go along or they start becoming more and more detailed as they go along. Both are usually signs that something isn't on the up and up. Real life stories usually aren't that interesting to read. Infact usually they don't go much further than why did this person ghost me. I have a feeling that is the real truth here and most everything else is you trying to find ways to where the girl might still like you the way you want her to like you.

The fact that you have started becoming increasingly detailed about the underwear is pretty odd. Never mind the fact that only an extremely unstable individuals would leave dirty underwear in a person's place to begin with. Either the whole lot of you need to find a good doctor or the whole underwear bit of the story is just one of your projections.

Most women are very protective and secretive about their undergarments and unless they are getting paid for it they usually only care to share it with men they are intimate with.

Edited 20 hours ago by Sony12

[kaleidoscopicjack]

Thanks for finding this thread interesting, I guess. 

I have nothing to prove. Believe me if you want or not. I am being 100% open about the whole situation precisely because nobody knows eachother here.

[Alpacalia]

Just jumping in on this but yes, leaving consecutive messages when someone isn't replying is often perceived as pushy, even if your intentions are sincere. In dating, silence is usually an answer—no response means no interest. Even if your texts were spaced out, four follow-ups after silence + a final emotional message likely felt overwhelming to her. After rejecting you romantically, a sexual proposition (even via a friend) probably felt degrading or manipulative to her. That’s why she escalated to threats—to scare you off permanently.

As for the underwear, could it be she accidentally dropped them? But yeah, if she used to walk around in her underwear around you, suggests she’s comfortable with sexual undertones on her terms. Why? Some people enjoy knowing they can affect someone emotionally, even after rejection. Instead of just moving on, she went for one last dramatic move to leave you confused. It’s the kind of thing people do when they want to "win" a breakup (even though you weren’t really together).

The best response is to ignore it completely and move on.

[ExpatInItaly]

2 hours ago, kaleidoscopicjack said:

The panties were very dirty. They were covered with crusted vaginal discharge back-to-back.

Sir, it is just about anatomically impossible that this was her normal...secretions. 

I hope you didn't inspect too closely because i have a feeling there was another sort of secretion mixed in there. Please tell me you didn't actually pick them up. 

[Sony12]

@kaleidoscopicjack Do you think it's possible these gals thought you were gay? Here in the U.S. when men and women share living areas like that when they aren't together often times it's because either one or both of them likes the same sex.

You said you have never been on very many dates and are infact extremely inexperienced. If you have never been that active of a dater that raises the possibility that these gals were under the assumption that you didn't like gals.

[kaleidoscopicjack]

11 minutes ago, ExpatInItaly said:

Sir, it is just about anatomically impossible that this was her normal...secretions. 

I hope you didn't inspect too closely because i have a feeling there was another sort of secretion mixed in there. Please tell me you didn't actually pick them up. 

What are you suggesting? 

[kaleidoscopicjack]

14 minutes ago, Sony12 said:

@kaleidoscopicjack Do you think it's possible these gals thought you were gay? Here in the U.S. when men and women share living areas like that when they aren't together often times it's because either one or both of them likes the same sex.

You said you have never been on very many dates and are infact extremely inexperienced. If you have never been that active of a dater that raises the possibility that these gals were under the assumption that you didn't like gals.

I don't look gay at all, but who knows? I can't read minds.

In my country it's normal for straight people of different genders to live together, though. Single rooms are available for rent and anyone can just rent them.

[Sony12]

10 minutes ago, kaleidoscopicjack said:

What are you suggesting? 

Basically that your detailed descriptions of the underwear does seem a little creepy. And normal secretions would just be in a specific area. Not back to back like you claimed.

Edited 19 hours ago by Sony12

[kaleidoscopicjack]

The amount of crust in those panties was insane. There was crust all over them, in the front and in the back.

I want to believe that she masturbated and then "cleaned" her fluids with the panties.

Because if you are suggesting it was semen, then this woman must have been at a goddamn orgy.

[Alpacalia]

I think you need to stop inspecting her panties because that comes off a bit creepy.

Laugh about it someday, but for now, toss them, forget her, and go find someone who doesn’t communicate via used underwear.

If it was her deliberate attempt to provoke you into looking desperate/obsessive she's succeeded.

[kaleidoscopicjack]

I threw them in the trash, I didn't keep them.

[Sony12]

6 minutes ago, kaleidoscopicjack said:

I threw them in the trash, I didn't keep them.

Hopefully. You are starting to sound like you have a sexual obsession though. The type of detailed descriptions you hear about in criminal cases.

Edited 19 hours ago by Sony12

[ShyViolet]

5 hours ago, Sony12 said:

Seriously but either this story is being highly exaggerated or everyone in this story (including the OP) has some problems going on in their head.

How the people are acting in this story just isn't how normal people act. I'm beginning though to think that the OP is making parts of it up. 

Oh I've been thinking that for the entirety of this thread.  The OP seems far from mentally stable.