Forgot to hit send?

[Sugarspice25]

So I met a new guy and he texted me Friday asking if Im available for Lunch or Dinner this weekend. I reply that yes Sunday lunch works for me. My text was sent at like 5pm. He didn't reply the whole evening on Friday. Then today (Saturday) I still don't hear anything from him, so at this point I'm thinking Okay I guess I better make other plans. He just texts me at 7pm saying "oh my goodness. I just realized I didn't hit send. So sorry. Sunday works if you're still available ".

Im not sure I'm buying this excuse? Should I go or reschedule? I just feel like I shouldn't because it just feels off. How can he forgot for a day and a half?

[Sanch62]

If you are still free on Sunday, you have zero to lose and a possible gain.

If you've already made plans for Sunday, then I'd text him back that not hearing from him prompted you to already make plans, then ask if he's available during the week for a quick coffee to check one another out.

You don't need to invest too much analysis in a stranger. All else pointing to a potential match, I'd take glitches in stride, because you're not yet invested enough in outcomes to nix a possible match.

[Sugarspice25]

1 hour ago, Sanch62 said:

If you are still free on Sunday, you have zero to lose and a possible gain.

If you've already made plans for Sunday, then I'd text him back that not hearing from him prompted you to already make plans, then ask if he's available during the week for a quick coffee to check one another out.

You don't need to invest too much analysis in a stranger. All else pointing to a potential match, I'd take glitches in stride, because you're not yet invested enough in outcomes to nix a possible match.

I told him I made plans but would like to see him in the week.

Thank you for your help

[Sanch62]

Just now, Sugarspice25 said:

I told him I made plans but would like to see him in the week.

Thank you for your help

Good; either he'll come through or not. Either way, keep making connections for your next first meet. And keep making connections beyond that, as well.

Your goal is not to get yourself hung up on creating fantasies about any given potential match, but rather, to meet as many people as possible in person to decide on chemistry.

You'll learn that most people are NOT a good match. That's not cynical, it's natural odds. So allow bad matches to pass early, and keep meeting new matches until you eventually strike in-person simpatico with one of them.

Everyone else is just a respectful exchange of time to screen one another out. No need to read interest or lack of interest into any of those--they don't KNOW you well enough to be interested, and you don't know them yet, either.

Head high, and keep moving forward until you meet your match.

[Sugarspice25]

Just now, Sanch62 said:

Good; either he'll come through or not. Either way, keep making connections for your next first meet. And keep making connections beyond that, as well.

Your goal is not to get yourself hung up on creating fantasies about any given potential match, but rather, to meet as many people as possible in person to decide on chemistry.

You'll learn that most people are NOT a good match. That's not cynical, it's natural odds. So allow bad matches to pass early, and keep meeting new matches until you eventually strike in-person simpatico with one of them.

Everyone else is just a respectful exchange of time to screen one another out. No need to read interest or lack of interest into any of those--they don't KNOW you well enough to be interested, and you don't know them yet, either.

Head high, and keep moving forward until you meet your match.

He texted back "I understand. Yes"

I thought he's going to give me a day but I guess I have to now.

[Sanch62]

14 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said:

He texted back "I understand. Yes"

I thought he's going to give me a day but I guess I have to now.

No, you don't have to. You can ask him to suggest a day and place and time.

This was his mistake, so he can step up to make that up to you.

Skip compensating for anyone else's lack. Let that hit the floor and stay there while you keep connecting with men to learn who will step up for you.

[basil67]

2 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said:

I just feel like I shouldn't because it just feels off. How can he forgot for a day and a half?

If he's being honest about forgetting to hit send, then he didn't forget for a day and half.   Instead, he was waiting for your response to a message which he didn't send.

That said, if your gut feeling is to cancel, then cancel.   If you're going to be dating, you need to trust your gut.  

[Sugarspice25]

20 minutes ago, Sanch62 said:

No, you don't have to. You can ask him to suggest a day and place and time.

This was his mistake, so he can step up to make that up to you.

Skip compensating for anyone else's lack. Let that hit the floor and stay there while you keep connecting with men to learn who will step up for you.

Crap I already texted him back with a day suggestion. Please tell me thats okay?! 

Edited yesterday at 02:02 AM by Sugarspice25
Forgot to add

[Sugarspice25]

7 minutes ago, basil67 said:

If he's being honest about forgetting to hit send, then he didn't forget for a day and half.   Instead, he was waiting for your response to a message which he didn't send.

That said, if your gut feeling is to cancel, then cancel.   If you're going to be dating, you need to trust your gut.  

I already made plans so I told him to reschedule 

[Sanch62]

17 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said:

Crap I already texted him back with a day suggestion. Please tell me thats okay?! 

Well, it is what it is. Either he'll accept or not, but if not, he should suggest a day, time and place. If he doesn't, leave him alone and set up your next meet with someone else. In fact, start doing that anyway so you won't place too much weight on this one guy.

When your goal is to meet as many potential matches as possible, you need to let some of those fall through the cracks if they won't step up enough to make it happen.

[Sony12]

I think it's really far fetched that someone would go almost two days without noticing they hit the send button. Usually if you do that it saves it as a draft so unless he didn't open up his text app that entire time it would have been pretty obvious it wasn't sent.

I think he was either on the fence himself or was waiting for responses from other people.

[Sugarspice25]

2 hours ago, Sony12 said:

I think it's really far fetched that someone would go almost two days without noticing they hit the send button. Usually if you do that it saves it as a draft so unless he didn't open up his text app that entire time it would have been pretty obvious it wasn't sent.

I think he was either on the fence himself or was waiting for responses from other people.

Yeah I think so too . I suggested another day in the week and I see he hasn't read the message from last night yet.  

[Sony12]

14 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said:

Yeah I think so too . I suggested another day in the week and I see he hasn't read the message from last night yet.  

Yeah if he is taking that long to reply and potentially even read messages when he knows a date is in the works to be set up he clearly isn't that interested.

I wouldn't even bother to meet. 

[Alvi]

I don't think he is that interested. Or dates with multiple women and keeps them jugging  (nothing wrong on his part to go on dates with multiple women but he may be a potential nightmare for a woman, who  is actually actively searching for a long-term partner).  Or maybe he is married is this is his burner phone that he hides and checks infrequently. Or he is a Secret Agent.  Anyway,  you can meet him (if he comes through) but don't put a lot of time and energy into someone who is wishy-washy right from the start.

[swirlingcloud]

In my opinion he should have tried harder to make a better impression now that he goofed up.

[Sanch62]

1 hour ago, Sony12 said:

Yeah if he is taking that long to reply and potentially even read messages when he knows a date is in the works to be set up he clearly isn't that interested.

I wouldn't even bother to meet. 

Yes, and this isn't something to take to heart as a rejection. It's a stranger. He doesn't know you. He could be doing the multi-dating thing and found someone he's focused on, or he's over-extended himself with too many matches at one time.

It's wise to avoid focusing on any one match too closely. Unless and until an in-person connection is established, these are all just personas on a screen that can either be tapped for potential or not. When the timing or interest isn't right, connections fail to happen.

So keep forming new matches and go meet them for a quick coffee to check one another out. If someone stands you up, you can take your coffee with you and nothing is lost. Meet the next one, and understand that most people are NOT our match. This is a screening process, and just as most of your acquaintances aren't 'best friend' material no matter how much you like them, most matches are just acquaintance material, if that. But you'll thank yourself for your resilience if you strike simpatico with the right match. That makes this all worth the effort.

[Sugarspice25]

6 minutes ago, Sanch62 said:

Yes, and this isn't something to take to heart as a rejection. It's a stranger. He doesn't know you. He could be doing the multi-dating thing and found someone he's focused on, or he's over-extended himself with too many matches at one time.

It's wise to avoid focusing on any one match too closely. Unless and until an in-person connection is established, these are all just personas on a screen that can either be tapped for potential or not. When the timing or interest isn't right, connections fail to happen.

So keep forming new matches and go meet them for a quick coffee to check one another out. If someone stands you up, you can take your coffee with you and nothing is lost. Meet the next one, and understand that most people are NOT our match. This is a screening process, and just as most of your acquaintances aren't 'best friend' material no matter how much you like them, most matches are just acquaintance material, if that. But you'll thank yourself for your resilience if you strike simpatico with the right match. That makes this all worth the effort.

But I didn't meet him on dating app. He messaged me through instagram.

[Sugarspice25]

Btw I didn't meet him through dating app but through Instagram. 

[Sony12]

12 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said:

Btw I didn't meet him through dating app but through Instagram. 

You two would still be using it though for the same reasons you would use dating apps. You don't really know what all he is using to find women to interact with.

Edited 22 hours ago by Sony12

[Sanch62]

33 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said:

But I didn't meet him on dating app. He messaged me through instagram.

Doesn't matter, only more of a reason to nix the plausibility of anyone who pursues a digital encounter for free.

If this were someone you met in person, you'd have more invested in a connection to consider. But Instagram messaging is just as digital as a dating site, only it's a free range way to exploit opportunities to seduce others.

He might be a scammer who decided that your desire to meet in person made you less of an easy mark than someone who is willing to emotionally invest in a digital romance, and who can be squeezed in the future for money to make their fantasy happen.

This might be your signal to invest in a decent dating app that would position you to meet other people who are also invested enough to have paid for a subscription.

Edited 21 hours ago by Sanch62

[smackie9]

In my books first impressions count...this guy is full of it because if he was an interested (and a gentleman) he would be expecting and checking for a response from you/continuing communication. AND be respectfully confirming the day before, or the day of.  This guy fails.