Jump to content

Dishonest, cheating girlfriend wants open relationship

Jacob_Duluoz

By Jacob_Duluoz
in Cheating, Flirting, and Jealousy

 Share
While the thread author can add an update and reopen discussion, this thread was last posted in over a month ago. Want to continue the conversation? Feel free to start a new thread instead!

Recommended Posts

Jacob_Duluoz Established Member

Jacob_Duluoz

Posted
Posted

I'm honestly not sure at this point why I'm still in this relationship. I've known my girlfriend since high school, and after many years apart, we got together again in 2019. Since then, she's proven herself to be incapable and undesiring of a serious relationship. I lost my job in 2022, and within a month she wanted to leave the relationship. I tried to keep it together, but then she betrayed me intentionally with a family friend after Valentine's Day. I ended it for a solid month and a half before she came begging back. I was sad and alone and took her back. That lasted until August, when she used the FetLife app to spitefully cheat on me again with 3 different men. I again ended it, and she came begging back. My own mother no longer wanted to do anything with her to the point where I literally got evicted over resuming the relationship after ending it for 6 months after she wanted to break up.

We now live together after having to live with her parents. That's lasted all of 10 months now until the last month, when she's started disappearing with work friends supposedly almost every night. She's admitted to still talking with a man from the FetLife app, including in front of me. When confronted, she expressed little remorse, and tonight again I'm here waiting alone with no real explanation hours later. Last night she tried to use sex to again persuade me to continue after demanding an open relationship. We thankfully are on only a month-to-month rent. Should I end this relationship permanently? Why am I still doing this to myself? The sad fact is that due to underemployment at this time, I'd likely be homeless without her contributions. It feels really hopeless. 

basil67 Established Member

basil67

Posted
Posted
4 hours ago, Jacob_Duluoz said:

Why am I still doing this to myself? The sad fact is that due to underemployment at this time, I'd likely be homeless without her contributions

I think you've just answered your own question.  What are your plans for finding better employment and your own place?  

  • Like 1
Gebidozo Established Member

Gebidozo

Posted
Posted
6 hours ago, Jacob_Duluoz said:

Should I end this relationship permanently?

Do you really have to ask that? Yes, of course you should.

 

6 hours ago, Jacob_Duluoz said:

Why am I still doing this to myself? The sad fact is that due to underemployment at this time, I'd likely be homeless without her contributions. It feels really hopeless.

Better to be homeless for a while than live with and depend on a person who treats you like crap.

Focus on finding a job and a place to live. 

flitzanu Established Member

flitzanu

Posted
Posted

how is her having sex with other men supposed to fix your relationship?

ShyViolet Established Member

ShyViolet

Posted
Posted
19 hours ago, Jacob_Duluoz said:

Should I end this relationship permanently? 

Is this a serious question?

You have no one to blame but yourself for getting back together with her multiple times, after all this stuff kept happening.  You CHOSE to do that.  And why after all that, you would move in with her, is beyond me.  You need to start making better decisions.

Sanch62 Established Member

Sanch62

Posted
Posted

Your Mom was upset on your behalf, so she has your best interests at heart. I'd try to repair that relationship.

I'd get away from this woman quickly and permanently. She sounds like a walking petri dish, and she obviously does NOT care about your best interests--at all.

  • Like 1
MsJayne Established Member

MsJayne

Posted
Posted
21 hours ago, Jacob_Duluoz said:

Should I end this relationship permanently?

Yes. Your girlfriend, a highly questionable label given that she's not even your 'friend' in the true sense of the word, is a poisonous scumbag. Your mother was trying to help you by intervening, and you should call her and admit your foolishness, and ask if you can go live with her while you get your act together. Hopefully your mother will say yes, (she probably will, you're her son and she loves you), and when she does, leave the current situation and slam the door behind you, block the girlfiend on all platforms and don't sit around hoping she'll suddenly turn into a decent human being and come back to you, instead be grateful you scraped the s**t off your shoe. 

  • Like 1
smackie9 Established Member

smackie9

Posted
Posted

Soooo, what like every time she wants to end it you cling onto her leg and cry please don't go? Please have some self worth and end it. Just find a new place now and just go.

Els Established Member

Els

Posted
Posted

This sounds abusive on her part. Is there any assistance for abused partners where you live, that helps victims find a place to live while you look for employment? Or even just regular social welfare?

Will am I Established Member

Will am I

Posted
Posted

Open relationships where both people want it equally because they won't do monogamy, those are rare.

In all other cases there is going to be one person proposing to open things up and the other one reluctantly tagging along, either hoping it will turn out okay or hoping it will help them keep their partner. Here's a bold statement: the first person who wants to open the relationship already has someone in their mind.

 

 

  • Like 1
Justin1996 New Member

Justin1996

Posted
Posted
On 6/19/2025 at 2:17 PM, Jacob_Duluoz said:

I'm honestly not sure at this point why I'm still in this relationship. I've known my girlfriend since high school, and after many years apart, we got together again in 2019. Since then, she's proven herself to be incapable and undesiring of a serious relationship. I lost my job in 2022, and within a month she wanted to leave the relationship. I tried to keep it together, but then she betrayed me intentionally with a family friend after Valentine's Day. I ended it for a solid month and a half before she came begging back. I was sad and alone and took her back. That lasted until August, when she used the FetLife app to spitefully cheat on me again with 3 different men. I again ended it, and she came begging back. My own mother no longer wanted to do anything with her to the point where I literally got evicted over resuming the relationship after ending it for 6 months after she wanted to break up.

We now live together after having to live with her parents. That's lasted all of 10 months now until the last month, when she's started disappearing with work friends supposedly almost every night. She's admitted to still talking with a man from the FetLife app, including in front of me. When confronted, she expressed little remorse, and tonight again I'm here waiting alone with no real explanation hours later. Last night she tried to use sex to again persuade me to continue after demanding an open relationship. We thankfully are on only a month-to-month rent. Should I end this relationship permanently? Why am I still doing this to myself? The sad fact is that due to underemployment at this time, I'd likely be homeless without her contributions. It feels really hopeless. 

Why do you like her?

swirlingcloud Member

swirlingcloud

Posted
Posted (edited)

This is a mentally abusive gf adding you have been through a lot that too steal your energy, make you weaker, effect your selfesteem. I would call a helpline and hope they have some advice for you where you are now, geographically. I would for sure get in contact with my mom after I dumpad the gf. I had an ex once that was trying to get me back after we split. My family was firm in saying we can't tell you what to do, we only want you to be happy, but he will never be  welcomed here. For them to say that someone is not welcomed was a big deal, never heard that before. That helped me. I had to get advice to by someone who had knowledge on how I should proceed as he had shown abusive, jealous signs for no reason, I had gotten so used to it, it got normal, this is what happens. It is like a frog in the water that get more and more heated up, you don't react the way an outsider frog do if suddenly thrown in, our minds are like that, we adjust. I reckon from her behavoir there is something mentally wrong with your gr who look for ego boost by getting attention from other men. She may think she has found a loop hole with the open relationship, only it takes two to want that and you don't. This relationship will only make you feel worse I bet if you don't jump out of it. 

Edited by swirlingcloud
  • Like 1
Sanch62 Established Member

Sanch62

Posted
Posted
Quote

Dishonest, cheating girlfriend wants open relationship

What I don't understand is why you'd call her your GF instead of your EX.

It's a decision. Choose wisely.

  • Like 1
Alvi Established Member

Alvi

Posted
Posted

You are willing to put up with a lot of crap as long as she pays the bills.  You are both using each other and get something out of this toxicity. You can get second job, make up with your mother, go to school to better yourself but you are relying on her contributions instead since this is probably easier. So yeah, if you are really that unhappy. just leave since you have other options available.

FredEire Established Member

FredEire

Posted
Posted

Why are you doing this to yourself? Very low self-esteem by the sound of it.

Should you keep doing this to yourself? HELL NO!

This woman is bad bad news, cut her the hell out of your life ASAP, there's no other course of action that ends well for you.

 Share
Go to topic listing
×
×
  • Create New...