Should I say anything about ex orbiting me online?

[maddieloo]

ell it has been a month since my last long post and I haven't spoken to my ex at all, however I see he still follows me closely online. He has never apologized or reached out, but he is the first person to spy on every reel, he is constantly looking at my stuff and i wonder if he is unaware that I can see it since he doesn't like any of my posts! If I was trying to remain friends with someone it's not the approach I would take! He told me that he always deletes his exes as it is part of his process to move on. Anyways, I am wondering if I should just let him keep spying on me (as I am getting some satisfaction from it i will admit) or should I just block him. I would like to say something to him to give him one last opportunity to apologize (not for conciliation necessarily but to see if he is as ***ty as I am thinking I guess). Any advice is appreciated, however I think I might say something to let him know I am going to remove him at least to seem respectful and un-petty. Any suggestions on what I could say appreciated! 

[ShyViolet]

I find it weird that you want to say something to him... what would be the point of that?  The relationship is over, there is nothing left to say.  You don't need an apology from him.  If you reach out to him to "give him one last opportunity to apologize", you are showing that you are not over it and still hung up on the breakup.  Let it go and leave it in the past.

As far as him still looking at your online posts, you are choosing to post things publicly and he's free to look at it if he wants.  It doesn't necessarily mean anything.  I still look at the posts of a few of my exes, just out of pure curiosity and not because I am still hung up on them or anything like that.

If you don't like the idea of him looking at your posts, then just block him and be done with it.  But there's no need to contact him or fish for an "apology", that would be ridiculous and petty.

[maddieloo]

Hi Shy Violet, we are still friends on social media. We didn't really leave things on bad terms, I had just decided that it wasn't working and we hugged and just kinda dropped things and agreed we are on different pages. I do not post anything publicly, he's looking at all of my reels etc, he's the first one to look and he's definitely checking up on me as I know his online habits. He told me before that when he breaks up with someone that he blocks them and unfriends them and has not yet. I am just unsure if I should ignore and leave things amicable or just tell him I am going to delete him so it isn't a surprise. We are not enemies. 

[basil67]

Don't tell him you're going to delete him - just do it.   He's your ex and you do not need his permission

[ShyViolet]

5 hours ago, maddieloo said:

 I am just unsure if I should ignore and leave things amicable or just tell him I am going to delete him so it isn't a surprise. We are not enemies. 

This is a little contradictory to what you said in your first post in this thread.  You wanted to "give him one last opportunity to apologize."  You can't make someone apologize.  Whether or not he apologizes at this point is completely irrelevant, and contacting him is more likely to just conjure up drama or feelings, rather than get the apology that you say you want.  

Either you are ok with him seeing your social media posts, or not. If you don't mind that he sees your posts then just leave it alone.  Or if it makes you feel weird that he sees your posts, then remove/block him.  There's no need for you to contact him in order to do that.

Edited Thursday at 02:18 AM by ShyViolet

[stillafool]

He should have been blocked when you first broke up with him.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Who knows why he's still orbiting you but you know how to stop it, just block him.  No reason to inform him of it.  You don't owe him anything.

[swirlingcloud]

If I got this right you chose to end the relationship but you did this on friendly terms but in reality there is something he has done wrong that you feel he owns you an apology for, if to stretch it may it be so that you broke up with him becsuse that was the last straw. when you had enough? 

You are not uncomfortable with him following you on your social media, instead it brings satisfaction to you, as in you thinking he still has you on his mind, but now he can't have you? 

You ended things as friends but was it parting as friends in sence that it was a friendly goo bye or in terms of still being in a relationship, but now as friends only, an active such? To me it sounded more like a friendly goodbye.

I understand if it would be somewhat confusing, how many of us can brag about us ending things without it being difficult, confusing, loose ends? It is what it is. You can look back and Wonder what the ... happened, really?

If you two are really done with one another, if you don't want him back, then I would  block him, your reason would he or someone else wonder about it and you feel like telling be that you had the impression you parted as ftiends, or that is how you like it, no more, no less, that no matter what you do not want an ex to be able to get access, period. Your social media. Your rules. If they don't like it, too bad. Honestly. If they can't understand or respect why someone blocks an ex then they are the ones they should worry about. If you want to save him from feeling foolish, if he don't know you can tell he does this it would not be something I would tell him, I would simply block him. Best for him if he too need to focus on moving on. If you have truly made the choice to move on too I would not have wanted an ex get access, could be it effects you too, and it not being good for you. 

If there is still hope to make it work between you then by all means talk to the guy.

I would not be so nice that I would be the first one to make contact with someone in hope they will apologize. If someone wants to apologize they have to be the ones to truly do that and it would take more than them having been looking at my social media. Then it would be simply them making contact for that purpose and for it to be of course genuine.

[flitzanu]

that's not truly in "no contact" if you're stalking his social media behavior.  if you're done, be done and block him.  none of what he is doing suggests anything.