Sugarspice25 Posted June 7 Posted June 7 (edited) I went on a nice date with this Man that I like so far. We had a nice dinner and then went for dessert. He travels a lot for work so our next date is in a week from now. Thing is today he sent me a selfie of himself saying good morning from New York and he's asking me if he can get a photo of me before I go out tonight (going to a dinner with the girls). We only had 1 date mind you so I don't understand why Men need photos this early? Should I send him one? Is it too early? Am I overthinking? If I want to decline what would I say to not make him think that I don't like him? Help please. Edited June 13 by a LoveShack.org Moderator merged threads Quote
basil67 Posted June 8 Posted June 8 While I can't speak for Men, people tend to want photos of the other when they are keen. Assuming you've got your clothes on in the photo, why are you concerned about sending him a quick selfie? 1 Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 8 Author Posted June 8 10 minutes ago, basil67 said: While I can't speak for Men, people tend to want photos of the other when they are keen. Assuming you've got your clothes on in the photo, why are you concerned about sending him a quick selfie? Of course I'm not going to send a nude. I was just wondering if it's normal this early? Quote
ShyViolet Posted June 8 Posted June 8 Maybe it's just me but I think this is kind of a weird request from someone you've been on one date with. 3 Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 8 Author Posted June 8 Just now, ShyViolet said: Maybe it's just me but I think this is kind of a weird request from someone you've been on one date with. Yeah that's what I'm thinking too. What does this mean? I mean on the date he was a gentleman and the way he texts its always respectful. Quote
basil67 Posted June 8 Posted June 8 1 hour ago, Sugarspice25 said: Of course I'm not going to send a nude. I was just wondering if it's normal this early? Plenty of people do send nude pics early, so I wanted to give context to my response. As for normal, I would say there is no normal. A first date can end up in bed - or blocked - or anything in between. My husband and I were of the first date sex type, so in comparison, I think your guy asking for a selfie is sweet 2 Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 8 Author Posted June 8 20 minutes ago, basil67 said: Plenty of people do send nude pics early, so I wanted to give context to my response. As for normal, I would say there is no normal. A first date can end up in bed - or blocked - or anything in between. My husband and I were of the first date sex type, so in comparison, I think your guy asking for a selfie is sweet Im so happy for you that first date sex turned into your husband. I will send him one. Quote
Gaeta Posted June 8 Posted June 8 Men are visual creatures, send him a selfie, it's not a big deal. Let your personality shine through the photos. Make it light and fun. 2 Quote
Els Posted June 8 Posted June 8 9 hours ago, Sugarspice25 said: today he sent me a selfie of himself saying good morning from New York and he's asking me if he can get a photo of me before I go out tonight (going to a dinner with the girls). I think it'd be weird if he asked out of the blue after just 1 date, but considering that he sent you one of himself just beforehand, it sounds fairly normal. Is there a reason you're uncomfortable with it? Quote
enterthevoid Posted June 8 Posted June 8 (edited) It's not a big deal. If you want to send him a selfie, do it. If not, don't. If he asks you for a selfie and you don't want to give one, you can just say "You can see what I look like during our next date :)" or something like that in a positive tone. Edited June 8 by enterthevoid 1 Quote
Sony12 Posted June 8 Posted June 8 People sending selfies to each other is completely normal. Just don't let it progress to sending nude pics or allowing him to record you if/when you two do have sex There are entire sites dedicated to people posting their own material and all it takes is creating a profile and then uploading your own videos and images. 1 Quote
smackie9 Posted June 8 Posted June 8 You do what makes you feel comfortable. If you really like this guy then sure why not. 1 Quote
Gina2005 Posted June 8 Posted June 8 I would send the pic, probably he just wants to see how you dressed for going out. See my avatar? I took that pic before my bf picked me up at my place for the first time, and we had our first kiss that very same date. 2 Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 8 Author Posted June 8 11 hours ago, Els said: I think it'd be weird if he asked out of the blue after just 1 date, but considering that he sent you one of himself just beforehand, it sounds fairly normal. Is there a reason you're uncomfortable with it? No I just hate when Men ask when we're not exclusive that's all lol Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 8 Author Posted June 8 3 hours ago, Gina2005 said: I would send the pic, probably he just wants to see how you dressed for going out. See my avatar? I took that pic before my bf picked me up at my place for the first time, and we had our first kiss that very same date. Awww so cute Quote
FredEire Posted June 8 Posted June 8 I think it's pretty normal, it's a sign he's interested. If he was asking you for nudes after one date it might be a different story, but this seems like nothing to worry about imo. 1 Quote
basil67 Posted June 8 Posted June 8 1 hour ago, Sugarspice25 said: No I just hate when Men ask when we're not exclusive that's all lol Meh, if someone wouldn't match my efforts of sweet little things while we aren't yet exclusive, we wouldn't get to be exclusive! I agree with @FredEire, it's not like he's asking you to send nudes...... or spend a whole lot of money or help him move house this weekend. His request is low effort and low risk. 2 Quote
Guest Posted June 10 Posted June 10 So I have a second date lined up this week but I have a feeling he's going to suggest meeting up at his home because on our first date he casually mentioned " we should have a movie night! When can I see you again ". I really hope that's not the case but if he does set up a date at his house, how do I decline the offer while sounding feminine and still interested in him? Quote
ExpatInItaly Posted June 10 Posted June 10 1 hour ago, Anonymous said: how do I decline the offer while sounding feminine Woman here, too. Why do you need to sound feminine when saying no? That has literally never crossed my mind when I have declined an invitation from a man. Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 10 Author Posted June 10 1 hour ago, ExpatInItaly said: Woman here, too. Why do you need to sound feminine when saying no? That has literally never crossed my mind when I have declined an invitation from a man. Okay so how do I let him know its a bit early for me for house dates? Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 10 Author Posted June 10 2 hours ago, LauraXX said: Why don’t you suggest something first? Because I don't know the plan yet Quote
LauraXX Posted June 10 Posted June 10 28 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: Okay so how do I let him know its a bit early for me for house dates? Tell him „,It’s a bit early for me for house dates“. I get that dating is complicated (I often struggle with articulating my boundaries as well and I‘m well into my 40s) … but in this case it really IS super easy. 1 Quote
LauraXX Posted June 10 Posted June 10 33 minutes ago, Sugarspice25 said: Because I don't know the plan yet I get that. But why does he have to come up with a plan when you already suspect that it‘s something you’re not comfortable with? Quote
Author Sugarspice25 Posted June 10 Author Posted June 10 33 minutes ago, LauraXX said: I get that. But why does he have to come up with a plan when you already suspect that it‘s something you’re not comfortable with? Today he texts me what am I doing and I told him I work late but can't wait to see him on Thursday. He wrote back " oook. Sounds good. Tradition" Meaning we had our first date on Thursday and again 2nd date on Thursday. Was his response lackluster though? He didn't even say excited to see you or am I overthinking Quote
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