emi Posted June 1 Posted June 1 hi guys, my divorce will be finalized soon. After more than a year i still feel pretty s*** about it. But anyway, the past is the past. The future concerns me. I moved to Germany like 10 years ago to be with him. I have build my life here in this country, but now im just alone here. However, i cant imagine going back, because of my field of work. I cant work in my origin country. Im getting lonely, and i have problem trusting anyone completely. I dont think i can date seriously anytime soon. I moved to a new city like almost a year ago and havent found a girlfriend. The friendship nowadays is pretty shallow anyway. What should i do? Im getting nervous about this for awhile now. And no matter how much i think about it, there is no solution...
MsJayne Posted June 2 Posted June 2 Is there an expatriate community of people from your own country? That would be the first thing I'd do in your situation, look for people who you can hang out with and speak to in your native language as that basic commonality can help to build quick bonds, and you'd likely meet other women who may be having difficulty integrating as a single person. Another option might be to try online dating in your city, it doesn't matter if you don't meet a new partner, just the social interaction might help to get you out there mixing so that you don't feel quite so alone, and the distraction of meeting new guys might help you to move through the grief of divorce. 1
ShySoul Posted June 29 Posted June 29 Sorry you are going through a rough time. There is no timeframe for dating again. You don't have to have a girlfriend. Right now is time to focus on you. Take as long as you need. Don't try to force yourself into something if you aren't ready for it. Don't let the anxiety of thinking you need to be meeting people or going out and having loads of adventures and fun make you feel worse about things. Take care of yourself. What do you like to do? What makes you happy? Find a way to do it. Meet people naturally doing what you love. Do what you love and don't stress about it so much. When you aren't worrying about it and can just be in the moment enjoying yourself, you will find yourself happier and things going better. It takes time. So go at your pace and do what you feel comfortable with and ready for.
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